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anonymous
writes: For the past year I have been dating a man, 19 years my senior. He was overseas for almost 20 years and decided to come back home, giving an impression that he was wealthy and had his own business. It later transpired he is broke and lives his parents.At first he only wanted a sexually based relationship, later he told me he was in love with me, this was at the same time that he financial position dawned to me. I cared for him in spite of knowing the truth and assumed all financial responsibilty for our entertainment. He pressured me to commit to him and had a "trust problem" i.e he got suspicious of any man in my life, friend or foe. This year he broke up with me because of this trust problem. I feel angry and betrayed for he lied about himself in the frist place. I have been loving, generous, tolerant, honest but I got the bitter end of the deal. He has since cut off all means of communication between us. I feel so worthless and unwanted, I need help cause i think about him all the time, not about getting him back, but I would like him to acknowledge I was a good woman to him! How do I deal with this?
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reader, psychic1 +, writes (10 June 2005):
You have only known this man for one year.You were a wonderful, caring,loving,woman before that, so don't doubt yourself now! But you do need to acknowledge & own the fact, that you were willing to be with this man at the beginning when all he wanted was a sexual relationship. Learn from this, not to give of yourself so easily next time.Get to know a man first, does he want the same things as you, if not walk the other way first.This is all about your own self worth.You don't need this guys approval to be happy do you, if so, you possibily should seek out counselling before you head into any other relationship.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (8 June 2005):
 Honey, let it go. If you haven't proved now by staying with him all that time even when he created a huge string of lies, your proof now still won't be good enough. It's a lost cause. You are an angel. I personally would had never kept the jerk in my bed. I would split when I found out the first huge lie. You are worthy of a man who doesn't have to lie to impress you with his pocketbook, but his heart. Be patient. You will forget about him and look back on this day and laugh. I did.
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (7 June 2005):
This is not about your ex at all...it is about how you see yourself...Look in the mirror ...do you see a good woman?...Thats the only opinion of you that matters...Onward and Upward dear!!!
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reader, Shane +, writes (7 June 2005):
Hey thereLook, you need to realise a fundamental truth here. He was not a nice person, whereas you were. Whether he acknowledges that or not is his problem. Why would you need his vindication?You've been tolerant towards a man who sounds to be extremely hard to live with, and you've given him everything a man could possibly want. Why are you upset?You've been a great human being, and he's acting very manipulatively and selfishly. To be honest, you're a real paragon of virtue. As long as you know that, who cares what he thinks?Forget about it, you've been great.Best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2005): To be honest with you this sounds like he lied because he is uncomfortable with himself! This does not make you a bad lover woman or person. Don't ever let a man make you feel this way. Obviously he lied to you which is going to hurt but if you love him as much as it sounds like you do should you let all this bother you? If he has done the lying why are you questioning you? It's him he should be questioning! Good luck with everything and I know I'm not too helpful but I hope I have given you a little help Cx
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