| A ,
*nnuescha
writes: I have been chatting to this guy on the net for 9 months now. I have fallen so hard for him and he has told me that he feels the same way. We get along so well most of the time, but he has this habit of going offline when we have an argument and then come back later and pretend as if nothing had happened. When I try and talk to him about that he says, I blame him for everything!I really think he is "the one" and I don't wanna lose him but he seems to just stay away and wait for me to make the first move after we have an argument. I admit I mostly mess up and I apologize for it but he never apologizes, even when he is wrong! I'm the one who always emails him and says I'm sorry or call him but he never does anything!Does online relationships really ever last, I mean as in ..do people fall in love, meet and live happilly ever after??
View related questions:
the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2005): Having an online relationship, may be hard, but it can work. It is much easier to express yourself using letters, emails etc than actually talking to them. Although, it may difficult as you probably tend to think about this boyfriend, but he is never actually there for the hugs or kisses a girl needs when she is down! Having a chat over the internet is a good idea, as that is what it is there for, but having a serious relationship may seem like too hard for the sexual needs of a young person.
Talk to your boyfriend, explaining the situation that you are in and that you need a boyfriend that will be there for you. If you feel that this relationship can still work, then organise to meet eachother, or even over the phone might work!
Good luck.
A
reader, Wildberries +, writes (29 May 2005):
Yes online relationships can, and do, work in real life...Ours did! But that said, if you are always the one that goes to him, stop doing it and see what happens. If he comes back, do what you must: but if not, there's your answer!! But keep in mind the inability to deal with and discuss differing points of view can also carry into real life relationships. Be careful and think hard about what you are prepared to live with...and for how long.
...............................
A
reader, Rainee  +, writes (13 May 2005):
 I've been in this situation myself. I "dated" a man I met online for 4 years. Things were wonderful most of the time, but we had our share of fights, a lot stemming from misunderstanding from typing, like tone of voice and things (this is why it's important to use the phone in this situation, too)... I'd say something sarcastic in a happy tone of voice, but it'd just come out as a serious and doom-filled in typing. We did eventually meet after a year and a half, and then two more times after that (we live hundreds of miles from each other) wherein we learned that what we have for each other is really friendly love - we don't have the physical chemistry to make a couple click. We're still great friends (my best friend, in fact) but we've moved on in our lives. Yes, relationships online can work, but they could also go well online and be bad in the "real world". Your guy is using the computer distance to his advantage so he can avoid you when ya'll have a fight. In the real world, how would you like it if ya'll fought, and he avoided you by leaving and slamming the door and not coming back for hours, and then pretended he's just a wonderful person upon return? Also, how can you be sure that he is what he says he is? He could be some old married man using you for entertainment. He could be a little boy (particularly evidenced by his behaviour...) or even your teacher/boss. Online relationships can /only/ truly work when you finally get together.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): Hiya sweety. This is one person's opinion who can 100% understand where you are coming from.I met someone on the net nearly 6 years ago we started talking and after a couple of days exchanged phone numbers. About a week after the initial meeting on the net and several phone calls later, he and I met up. I do not suggest to anyone that they move as quickly as we did; I must just say that as care really does need to be taken.However I felt comfortable with the situation, so we met. We are now still together after 6 years and have a wonderful little son together. So in answer to one part of your question, yes it can work but use great care. On the other part of the problem, a lot of men even when they start an arguement and are definitely wrong will NOT admit to the fact and most certainly not apologise, let alone making the first move to do so. To them, that is a sign of weakness.If you can accept this, then go for it. If you cannot then you need to call it a day and find someone who may admit when they are in the wrong etc. I really hope this helps you out a bit. Good luck with whatever you decide and take care of yourself, ok.
...............................
A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (12 May 2005):
Answer to your question is I don't know yet...meeting up with a model from Canada soon I really like, so if that goes well, I guess its possible.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): Yes online relationships do actually work!! I met a really great guy on the net and eventually I met up with him even though he lived miles away! We are madly head over heels in love and are moving in together next month. He is the most amazing person I have ever met and we are so alike its untrue. His friend actually said that he thinks I am the female version of him. Beware though, this doesn't happen all the time. you do hear stories on the news about people meeting up with someone that they met online and they turned out to be a maniac. perhaps its the fact that you only know this guy online that makes him so funny with you. I know when me and my fella talk online its difficult cos you can't hear the emothion in their voice when thay tell you something. Quite often something will get blown out of proportion cos someone has got the wrong end of the stick. don't know if this helps at all but i hope everything goes well for youx x x
...............................
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (12 May 2005):
 It can happen, people can fall in love, meet and live happily ever after through online dating but more so is the case that people meet, then fall in love and live happily ever after! This can also happen through online dating but you do have to meet! People tend to fall in love with the idea of the other person online.What is happening here could be a good indication of what would happen if you were together, say for example, living together. He obviously hates arguing and will avoid it at all costs. He also may never apologise, even when he is in the wrong. I think you are getting a taste of what he could be like in the flesh. However, have you met? It seems you haven't. You can't base a relationship purely on emails and instant messenging each other. You can't ever be really sure that he is 'the one' until you meet.Consider how he is behaving now and understand that even though you accept that you say things wrong, that he sometimes does too and may not acknowledge this. Also, have you considered the fact that it is quite unusual to be rowing online? It doesn't really bode well for the future.Seriously consider all these points before you finally meet up.Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, rphillips +, writes (12 May 2005):
You are the one who is always in the wrong? Relationships (even online relationships) take two people, and very rarely is someone always in the wrong. Sometimes online relatioships can work out, but they take the work of two people, over time, and involve some actual face to face time. Have you met your "the one" in person? Until you meet someone in person, it may be hard to truly judge if he is the one. Right now, it seems as if he can not handle an argument. Short of emailing him articles on how to fight fair in an argument, there is nothing much you can do about his behavior. You have to decide if this is something you want to continue to pursue. I say, enjoy the online chats, but date some men in the real world.
...............................
|
