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anonymous
writes: Hi. My boyfriend of almost a year is 35 and divorced (he married young and was divorced by the time he was 23). In general conversation the other day he mentioned that he will never remarry because he's 'been there and done that'. My problem is, I'm 24 and have never been married. I'm not in any rush to get married but the last thing I want is to know that I never will!! Should I tell him that to me, this means that we have no future together? Do you think I've got any chance of changing his mind without making him run a mile (he's pretty stubborn)? I don't know what to say or do, I know he loves me and I love him and don't want to lose him but I hate to think that as long as I'm with him I'll never get married. Please help!
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (27 June 2005):
You should definately be straight up about this one...Tell him, where you are not in a hurry you do want marriage and give him a realistic timeline...If it isnt owrking ...find someone who wants the same thing you do.
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reader, DearJulie +, writes (21 June 2005):
You should definitely talk to your boyfriend about this issue. If you feel that he is a potential husband then communication is very important. Explain to him that you are in no rush for anything, but you want to know that there is a possiblity that the two of you could have a marriage. The only person that will be able to change your boyfriend's mind is him. Do not waste any time trying to pursuade him to marry you. Just explain your fear. Be sure to stress that you are in no rush if that is how you feel. You just want him to understand that you are afraid that there is no future for the two of you and you don't want that type of limitation on the relationship. He should be understanding and if not then you will have your answer. By the way you are young and you will be married one day, because there is someone for everyone.
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reader, thats1foru +, writes (21 June 2005):
My 1st question to you is how long have you to been together? At what age do you want to get married? Ask yourself, what happens if I wait around? What am I gaining? I think that you should let him know that you are not her. 2nd give him a time frame on when you would like to get married. Then if that doesn't work I think that it is time for you to move on to someone that wants a commitment.
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