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anonymous
writes: My husband and I have been married for 2 years. He is a truck driver and has always made accomodations to be home. He promised me that after we got married he wouldn't go back over the road, recently he has. I often tried talking to him about this and all we do is fight. In some conversations he has told me if I left he wouldn't lose much. Recently I asked him if he wanted a divorce so he can do his own thing and be on the road. he said sometimes I wonder.He tells me all the time he loves me and I love him so much. (we're high school sweethearts.) He claims that he only works so hard because we need money. We're not that poor! I've been rolling the idea around in my head if I should leave him. I'm tired of being alone and depressed. I feel like I am putting my life on hold. Should I leave everything we've worked so hard for in the past 3 years, or just wait and hope he'll come to his senses?
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (8 June 2005):
I am married to a trucker...he is away a lot. He loves his job , Just like I love mine!! Gonna be married to one you have to accept that, period. That does not stop him from loving me, or me loving him. But it does make the time we have together alot more cherished. You build a life at home for yourself , but if there are gonna be kids THAT needs to be discussed, a traveling spouse makes you a single parent in alot of ways...For a lot of men trucking is a way of life , not just a job...I know it is for my man!
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (5 June 2005):
 Do you work? Do you both pay into a pension to make your retirement comfortable? Would you be able to live to the standard you are now if he wasn't earning as much as he does on the road?Many men feel that they need to be the bread-winner and not to be able to provide for the both of you may make him feel that he is under-achieving or letting you both down.Try to support him and let him know that you don't need a platinum card for him to be loved. maybe then he'll stay home.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (5 June 2005):
 There are two things going on here: First, the obvious which you stated how you feel and second, his reason of keeping his job. Have you ever thought that maybe he loves his job? I know a couple of truck drivers who love their wives, but they also happen to love their jobs too. You married this man while he was a truck driver. You accepted the consequences of the type of relationship issues this situation can sometimes create.Perhaps your husband feels inadequate if he takes a job which doesn't pay as much? Or a job he doesn't enjoy as much? Men are often raised to be breadwinners in the family. And he's trying to have both while bringing home the bacon. And what's wrong with that? Darlin', you gambled the money game. Married the man making good money, but you forgot to consider the effects of the job earning that money. You have to look inside yourself and ask, Do I want a loving husband who loves me enough to make good money to provide for me and all the while suffering too because he's away from me so long? He is turned off by your thoughtlessness, so of course he gets irritated by arguing with you. In this situation, I think you need to open your heart and listen to his reasoning. If you feel he does not love you, do what makes you happy. But do not lead your husband on. Do you have a Job? Have you offered to lessen the load of bills and mortgage payments by letting him know that you will get a job to help out? Perhaps this is also why he won't quit his job.
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