My wife's promiscuous past still haunts me after 28 years! Should I confront her or try and get help?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 51 year old man, now married for 28 years. I was a 22 year old virgin when I met my wife. I had been in one long term relationship with a younger girl but we had not 'gone all the way' because we both felt that we wanted t...
A. 7 October 2008: I would like to make a few comments that might help to ease your mind.
Remember that there are many other people who deal with the same situation as you. Maybe you can find some solace knowing that you are not alone. I for one, am in the same boa... (read in full...)
Dating a potential employee because of instant magic?
Q. Hello to all! I have a problem that just came up today. I run a small firm that provides language lessons and I wanted to hire a teacher. Early today,I was expecting a woman for a job interview. She came on time and when we sat to talk it is as...
A. 10 September 2008: Well, first I would suspect she is up to the flirting to secure the job. Women can be deceiving. If she was really determined to get this job, she would maybe even sleep with you if it meant that she would get the job. She could just fancy you t... (read in full...)
My husband suddenly asked that I HIT him during intimacy, which to me is unconceivable an act!...
Q. Hi I just wanted to ask. The other night my husband and I was in bed and things were heating up ,and the next moment he yelled "hit me in the b*lls, do it now, quick"! I burst out laughing and that was not the right thing to do. Oops. But it cam...
A. 15 August 2008: How can this be illegal? Its both consenting parties, and as long as it stays between them, what is the risk? I doubt she would kick her hubby in the balls and then he runs to the authorities to tattle on her...? Right? Or maybe she kick him so hard ... (read in full...)
I cheated numerous times since my wife told me the truth about her sexual past, in hope I would feel better. I feel worse and still angry. Help!
Q. I am seriously troubled with my wifes past and am so frusterated at the idea of living the rest of my life in anger. It is really depressing. She was my first girl friend and my only other sexual experience before her was a very humiliat...
A. 29 July 2008: Wow man, what is worse: that your girl slept with a few douche bags or that you have spent the past 10 years in a mental prison because of it??? Do you know that you think about these guys 1000x more than she does, or probably ever has? Did you know ... (read in full...)
We love each other but I can't fully trust her as she cheated and is generally flirty, how do I overcome my worries?
Q. hello i have been in a relationship for nearly two years now and i love my girlfriend to pieces, we have regular sex, a fantastic connection, we have talked about marriage, and we love each other with all of our hearts. the only thing is i dont ...
A. 28 July 2008: How old is your gf? Around your same age? Man its bound to happen, its how women are, especially at those ages. She is not intentionally trying to hurt you, she just is young and doesnt really know what she wants.
My best advice to you, is to le... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was so young when someone took advantage of her - and now she's still defending him. What do you think?
Q. A male United States age 18-21, flyboy275 writes: Hey guys, Well i have a wonderful girlfriend that is most definately the best thing that has ever happened to me! This much i promise.....but i have a problem...... I have come on ...
A. 25 July 2008: Yea man, if she is not bothered by it I would let it be... Probably all your doing is throwing up bad memories for her, and making her go through them again. Do you really want your gf to have to deal with this fucking prick? I think not... Let it ... (read in full...)
The girl I like was forced to perform oral sex with a guy... Should I risk trying to date her?
Q. Guys suppose you see this nice college girl you liked, but you heard she was force by a guy she was dating to performed oral sex once,but she ended the dating after that with him. Would you still try to date her or You may fear that the same guy...
A. 24 July 2008: Who gives 2 shits about some douche bag that uses women like holes in a wall. Fuck that guy, and if you cant bare to be with a woman who was used by another man because you fear that that man & his loser friends will laugh at you then your a prick!... (read in full...)
She gets text messages from an ex. I'm not comfortable wiht it. Should I feel this way?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. The whole time, she would get these random text messages from an unsaved phone number. It turns out it is a person (an X for lack of a better term) she had a fling with (before me), and found ...
A. 7 July 2008: Hi, in my opinion she should give it up. Especially if you have shown disinterest in this subject. If you guys are in a serious, committed, monogamous relationship then there really is not any reason for her to keep contact with an x (bf, fling, ons ... (read in full...)
Need help with feeling more connected with people in my life. Any good book recommendations?
Q. My relationship is great, but sometimes we fight about stupid things. Anyone know any good books to help me feel more connected with the people in my life?...
A. 10 June 2008: Your question is very broad, and at your age it would seem that you would have that answer already... I know of a good philosophy which deals with how to do most anything. Its called Buddhism. Its not like you think, about religion and stuff. Its ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him but don't feel guilty, am I crazy?
Q. First of all, I am a good girl. The girl most likely to succeed, least likely to ever do anything wrong. I have often been picked on by others for being so straight laced. The other night, however, I cheated on my boyfriend. I would say that I...
A. 3 June 2008: Your not crazy, but you dont love him.. Because if you did, you would not have cheated on him, or at the least you would feel bad about doing it. You dont love your bf, and its best to leave him. You dont have to tell him what you did, but it might ... (read in full...)
More than half a year and she won't tell me how she feeels. Should I wait?
Q. I am in need of desperate help, I've been with my girlfriend for more than half a year and she has yet to tell me how she feels, she keeps telling me she'll tell me soon and needs more time to think. She doesn't seem to talk much to me and isn't ...
A. 23 May 2008: Wow man that is not a question for us that is a question for you! Only you have that answer... Do you think its worth waiting for? If so then yes... If not then leave... Maybe if you feel that its not then you could maybe put it out on the table and ... (read in full...)
Our time together is getting boring, we're not living together or married, what will it be like if we were?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 3 years. We do not live together but we spend every weekends together (I go over to his house or he comes over to mine). During the weekdays, he'll call me at night and talk to me. I know I'm lucky he is still doing ...
A. 23 May 2008: I might be going out on a limb here but I think the problem is that you two are not spending enough "face time" together. Just being close to each other (reading, watching tv, games, etc) is not face time, its just time to occupy your brains. What ... (read in full...)
Why was she afraid to tell me about meeting her ex for dinner? Is this ok?
Q. why would my gf of 4 yrs.not tell me about her talking to her old bf? then i found out she met him for dinner and are now just friends.we were planning to get married,but the trust thing just went out the window.help! we love each other so ...
A. 19 May 2008: Why would she feel the need to hang out with an x bf? And what would give her the right to go behind your back? She is lieing, because lying by omission is still lying. My guess is that she is unhappy in her current relationship if she, after 4 ... (read in full...)
Should you lie about the best sex you've ever had?
Q. What if your husband/wife/gf/bf asks about the best sex you've ever had and it wasnt with them? Should you lie? Tell the truth? Change the subject? Does gender or marital status matter in this situation?...
A. 15 May 2008: This should be a no brainer... YOU NEVER SAY ANYONE EXCEPT THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH! Seriously, no bs aside... Lie, if you have to... Dont make it obviously a lie.. Tell them about one time you will both remember, something passionate and very ... (read in full...)
Why has he become distant and cold? Is this relationship over?
Q. For the men: Can you please explain to me this male mentality of, if one part of my life sucks, everything sucks? My bf of 7 months all of a sudden started acting very distant and cold when he became incredibly busy at work. One day he'd want me...
A. 15 May 2008: LonleyTwo hit it RIGHT ON! And I sound just like the OP's bf... I got my dream job, and now it sucks, I hate it... It weighs on me at all times. Its long tedious hours, weekends, little pay, pinhead boss, pessimistic co-workers, a complete negative ... (read in full...)
I've been cheating. I need advice on how to move forward.
Q. i have been cheating on my boyfriend of 8 years i have been unhappy for about a year .i have now finished with other man but despite this i am still in love with him .my boyfreind knows i cheated and left but i told him to come back and he did. i ...
A. 14 May 2008: Take control over yourself.... (read in full...)
If someone cheats on you when they are drunk, does that mean it's intentional?
Q. If someone cheats on you when they are drunk does that mean its done intentionally? My boyfriend has cheated on me when he's drunk, but when he's sober he would never......what does this mean? Can people that have cheated change as well once they ...
A. 14 May 2008: Drunk or not there is not reason to justify such sleazy actions. If I were you, I would get rid of him regardless if he would cheat on you sober or not. Even if he stops drinking, what about other outlets? Like, for example here, if someone in his ... (read in full...)
I'm hiding something from him, because it'll make him angry. I'm confused, advice please?
Q. Sorry, this is long... My boyfriend doesn't trust me. I am to blame of this, in part. He has trust issues because of previous girlfriends and being abused as a child (I didn't know about this until it was too late). But the thing is, he's always ...
A. 13 May 2008: Well the way I see it there are two sides to this: On one side your bf is controlling you through fear, which is very wrong and will probably cause more problems in the long run. If he continues this then most likely it will spiral out of co... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to talk about his past, which includes him being raped at age nine and then sexually active
Q. HEEEELP my 3-month old boyfriend confessed to me that he was raped by hi's cousins friend when he was 9 years old. But thats not it. After he was raped the first time he was raped by more people, girls AND boys, as he claims He also told me ...
A. 13 May 2008: Physically he is not a virgin, mentally he is. It is different for men than women though, as men do not "loose" anything after their first time.
He may take a while to fully talk about it... Give him time. If you dont feel comfortable with his... (read in full...)
Problem with snooping - but it leads me to suspicious things, should I keep confronting my husband?
Q. I have a problem with snooping, i will be upfront about it, but the only reason I keep doing it is I always find something, but not anything concrete and my husband always has a great story for instance I found a print out of a conversation between ...
A. 13 May 2008: Sounds like he is disrespecting your relationship. If he says that you either need to trust him or leave, but he can not justify these actions, he is obviously using the trust or leave contemplation as a shield of defense. Why dont you tell him that ... (read in full...)
If I lost her do to my shady sexual history, I'd be devastated! Should I reveal what I've done?
Q. I've recently started a relationship with the most amazing woman I've ever met. Things are better than I could have ever imagined and have ever been with anyone else and I'm certain we are both deeply in love with each other. The problem is that ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hey man, PLEASE use this as a rule of thumb: Dont ask, dont tell. If she asks bounce around the question, tell her that you have had enough partners to know how to please her. If she persists ask her what knowing that answer will do for the both of ... (read in full...)
I want her back as a partner, not a friend.
Q. My fiance' and I were together for 4 years. We have split and come back a few times, but recently she decided that it was time to end it for good. She still wants to be friends, but I still love her and wish her back. Is there anyway that I can ge...
A. 12 May 2008: What you are asking is a very, very, broad question. Without details such as why you two split and stuff its hard to say. Sometimes people make up their minds and there is no going back. However, on what level of friendship is she willing to ... (read in full...)
Masturbation. Can anybody confirm my fears, or is it all just a big lie?
Q. Hi. I'm a little concerned. People say that you can Masturbate as often as you want and it's not a problem. But I heard about a condition you can get if you do it too often. I forget the name of it, but all I know is I don't want to get it. Recently...
A. 12 May 2008: As far as I can tell there are a couple different things that can happen:
1) You will go blind.
2) You will grow hair on your palms.
3) You will go bald.
4) You will experience more acne.
5) You will most likely not be able to have children.
... (read in full...)
Unusual sperm fetish? I even swallow sperm from used condoms..
Q. Hi, I have an unusual fetish. My thing is that I really enjoy having a guy ejaculate in my mouth. My friends think I am mad but I love the taste of sperm and have always allowed a partner to do this for me. I have not had a boyfriend for ...
A. 9 May 2008: I know you want advice for how to control it... But damn, I have to say that is pretty hot... Sorry I can not help you, but maybe you dont need help?... (read in full...)
I don't want to risk her rejection and put our friendship on the line.
Q. Me and this girl have been friends for a while now and i'm starting to like her more, as in more than a friend. The problem is that i dont know if she likes me, and i don't want to ask flat out and risk her rejection and put our friendship on the ...
A. 5 May 2008: Hey man, all I can say is that before you do this you need to evaluate where you are currently at... You never know the answer to questions like this, but you should have a general idea... Do you think its 50% chance she might go with you? If so, ... (read in full...)
How can my ex say he loves his girlfriend, when he cheated on her with me?...
Q. I have just recently broken up with my boyfriend of two years. We both are in serious relationships but I'm very confused because my ex said that he loved his new gf after dating her for two weeks and he cheated on her with me once (big mistake and ...
A. 5 May 2008: It means he is scum. He is trapped in a world of selfishness. He does not care about anyone but himself, because if he cared about either of you there would never had been more than one of you. Do not fall for him, he is far from being mature enough ... (read in full...)
There is a problem with our sex life, she is too loose.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year now and have gotten very comfortable with each other. There is a problem though with our sex lives; she is too loose. She was a virgin when I met her, and when she masturbated, to hit her g-sp...
A. 5 May 2008: Im not trying to question anything here... But I am not sure what kind of virgin would use such large toys? Are you sure there is not more to that? Be cautious.
Thanks... (read in full...)
I love him more than anything and don't want our relationship to end but we're at the verge of breaking up please help!
Q. I am 27 and until last year I'd never kissed anyone, let alone anyone else. When I was at school boys just weren't interested and then when I was older I was so embarrassed by my lack of experience that if guys did show an interest I'd pretend that ...
A. 30 April 2008: If I was in your situation I would be more than happy! I mean... One person! ONE! Wow... That is as close to a virgin you will get (other than a virgin).
I think your jealousy stems from the fact that he had cheap sex, where as your sex was buil... (read in full...)
Please read and advise, is this the kind of person I am or even who I want to be?
Q. I have a problem. I know im going to get all the generic answers of your a bitch who isn't satisfied with your own life so you have to go around messing up other people's etc etc....But Im not like that. Im just a young person who has done things. ...
A. 30 April 2008: Does it make you a shit person? Hmm... I guess that depends really on more than just this once instance. It depends on a lot of things, things which only you know.
What you did is wrong though, and you know that you should not have done it. Even... (read in full...)
I have sex five times a week but he has a girlfriend
Q. Hi I have had sex 5 times in a single week with a man who already has a girlfriend. The sex was suprisingly very good and he wants to see me again(obvisouly). I just wanted to have fun and all but now I am not sure whether it's okay to contin...
A. 30 April 2008: A quick word of advice: What he will do with you he will do to you.... (read in full...)
Went to a foreign country and slept with 3 male prostitutes. Should I tell my husband?
Q. I had sex with 3 male prostitutes last week while visiting a foreign country with my female friend. I feel so guilty now, and I want to tell my husband. I know he will most likely leave me though and we have two children, one is just 6 weeks old and ...
A. 29 April 2008: There is a reason you feel guilty, it's because you are! What you have done is wrong, selfish, and cruel. There is no justification for what you have done, rather your husband has a small penis or that you are not sexually attracted to him, it does ... (read in full...)
I discovered my wife's embarrassing history! What now?!!
Q. I discovered recently that my wife worked as a high-priced prostitute, two years prior to our meeting. She was desperate for money at the time. She says she's been thoroughly tested and does not have any communicable diseases. Further, she deeply ...
A. 29 April 2008: Man... I know things are supposed to be left in the past... But somethings could be about impossible to get over. You know, this is really up to you. Some people could over look it, some people cant. If you think that you could, then you should give ... (read in full...)
My BF has a bad tempter but loves me. I am also dating his buddy who is nice to talk to and definitely my type. Please help me decide?
Q. Dear all, I hope to receive some advice on this matter. I've been dating a guy, C, for 3 yrs now. He is nice, sweet and loving to me. However, he tends to say insentitive remarks and is fierce with me due to his bad temper. However, despite...
A. 29 April 2008: Hmm... So your cheating on C? Just because your not shagging him does not mean you are not cheating, because you are! In fact, what you are doing, to me, would constitute worse than if you were to sleep with someone because you are becoming ... (read in full...)
I want to be with her, I'm 18 and she's 14.
Q. I am 18 and my really good friend is 14, I have never had a relationship, and i think i like her. What should I do? I want to be with her??...
A. 28 April 2008: Yea, I definitely would not go there...
Did you know that if you get in trouble with her you are a registered sex offender... For life! That means everytime you move you have to tell everyone on your street that you had sexual relations with a chil... (read in full...)
I have several marks from cats' claws, people believe I self-harm though! How can I stop them?
Q. Heya! I have a problem, no i do not self harm dont worry! I have loads of cuts on my arms, from cats claws... and loads of people think i self-harm because of it, i try and explain to them, but they dont listen, what can i do to stop people cal...
A. 28 April 2008: Um... Im not sure but I would think that bringing the cat to the vet to have it de-clawed would be more appropriate than pulling them out with a pair of pliers... I'm no genius but I would assume that it would greatly hurt the cat... You could ... (read in full...)
I like my GF's best friend. How will I get over her?
Q. hey im 14 have a girlfriend that is great im doing well in school and just have a good life in general. One problem i like my gfs bestfriend. I know i would never stand a chance with her because im ugly. Basically im asking for any advice on how t...
A. 28 April 2008: You should never say that you do not stand a chance... Looks make up 10% of what a woman thinks about you. You may see yourself as ugly, she may see you as unattractive, but that does not mean she would not give you a chance. You must be confident, ... (read in full...)
Is this statement meant to protect my feelings (about not having enjoyed the one night stand)?
Q. My partner had a one night stand recently. I ma not very happy as you can imagine. one comfort though is she claims she did not enjoy it at all and did not have an orgasm with the man she slept with. I find this difficult to believe - is it ...
A. 28 April 2008: I would lose her mate... She is definitely mind-gaming you.... (read in full...)
I got drunk and cheated on my long distance partner
Q. I've made a huge mistake. I'm in a long distance relationship, haven't seen my bf for a few months now though we talk on the phone quite a lot. Last night I got very drunk and had a one night stand with some guy I met in a club. I didn't actually ...
A. 28 April 2008: I would tell him. Not only that, if he decides to stay with you, I would leave him... Why? Because you are unstable, and if you cheated on him once, what is to say you would not do it again? How many times are you willing to destroy this mans ... (read in full...)
Why do guys dump a girl after a one night stand? Bad sex, lack of respect...?
Q. Come on guys. Why do guys really dump a girl after a one night stand? Was it because the sex was bad, average? Or because you didn't respect her? If it was amazing and mind blowing and made you cum would you come back for more? Now be ...
A. 28 April 2008: Lack of respect... In my opinion at least. If a girl sleeps with me after one night, the first question I ask myself is, wow, how many other blokes did she shag before me...... (read in full...)
Would great sex make guys want a relationship?
Q. Ok guys if you have had mind blowing sex with a girl on a one night stand are you more likely to want to have a relationship with her? ...
A. 28 April 2008: No Because if I can have sex with a girl in a one night stand she obviously lacks respect for herself. And if she can not respect herself she cannot respect her partner.... (read in full...)
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