A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and this girl have been friends for a while now and i'm starting to like her more, as in more than a friend. The problem is that i dont know if she likes me, and i don't want to ask flat out and risk her rejection and put our friendship on the line. Also i like her when she's not with her friends, but she's the type that defends her friends to the death. How should i handle this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rproctor +, writes (5 May 2008):
Hey man, all I can say is that before you do this you need to evaluate where you are currently at... You never know the answer to questions like this, but you should have a general idea... Do you think its 50% chance she might go with you? If so, take the shot... But if its like 90% she will say no and 10% she might say yes, I would say wait and try to build up some attraction first.
Also, dont do it in an awkward way that may make her feel pressured... Like, saying "I like you, do you like me"? Even if the answer was yes, she would still say no...
Comfort and attraction are two of the most important things a woman seeks. Attraction does not mean hard abs, georgous smile, etc. It means she looks at you with intimacy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): My advice is take a deep breath and think before you act ! You really like her , but don't want to lose her friendship so show her that you appreciate her ! Why not try a relaxed approach and invite her for a coffee, and see a movie ( without the other friends ). Or if you have a party invitation suggest meeting her there also ! Try asking her out on a date where she would be most at ease .It's good to be truthful about your feelings ....but not being too pushy (especially as you value the friendship ) She may feel exactly the same about you !! Good luck !!
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A
male
reader, doc,cupid  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 I was in this situation my self a few years ago. I'd been friends with a girl for about 10 years and i felt strongly for her, i asked her out one night and told her everything. She didnt feel the same way which was dissaponting but our friendship was strong enough to keep goin. Things were strange for a month or so but then they were back to normal.
If you think she's worth it then it's always worth putting your heart on the line. The worst she can say is no and if your friendship is tight then you'll most probably work it out.
It's a not an unusual situation lots of friends end up feeling like this for each other.
Good luck and let me know how it goes
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A
female
reader, Dr-Mel +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Hey hun, it definatly will not affect your friendship if you tell her how you feel, she would rather you tell her how you really feel and im sure she would feel the same! Ask her! Youve got nothing to lose and alot to gain! Just ask her if she'd like to go to the cinema or the pub or wherever with just you and i'm sure it'll turn out how you want it to turn out, and its best that you were quite good mates too because she already knows you for who you really are so she knows your just inviting her out to have a good time and spend some time with you.
I Hope i've helped, please write to me and tell me how it goes!
Good Luck, All the best.
Dr Mel.
xx
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