A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok guys if you have had mind blowing sex with a girl on a one night stand are you more likely to want to have a relationship with her?
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male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (2 May 2008):
Yes, definitely! The woman I have loved the most in my life seduced me just after I got a new job with her. I have loved her for almost 20 years, and I consider her to have saved my life. She left me after a few years and I would do anything to get her back, but she is a free spirit and only stays with a guy for a few years, if that. We are best friends and sometimes lovers. Sex is forever for me, and a woman that gives me this gift early and often is most special always.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): This is stupid. There are no rules in dating or how a relationship starts between a man and a woman. So you had mind blowing sex with him on the first get together, so what...the attraction was there and you acted on it.
Now if you are interested in getting to know him better to see if he wants a relationship and so do you, then stop denying answering his calls.
You can set the pace, you can set the tone, you can stop having sex with him going forward if you want to get to know him on a different level....
There are no rules, it is up to you and it is up to him and the choice is yours to make.....Cheap and easy is a value judgement, it depends on his values, it depends on how he felt when he was with you emotionally and intellectually as well as physically. If he felt those other elements besides the mind blowing sex, that is what will make him interested in exploring a relationship with you. Otherwise the sex was ordinary, he is ordinary and so are you.....He would have said it was mind blowing to make sure it happened again, most often sex is mind blowing, but that doesn't make a guy decide to pursue a relationship.....he has to want that first, he has to like you and feel there is a connection just as you do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Sorry, I am just asking lots of different questions at the moment to see peoples reactions.
They are not meant to be inter related, they all sort of relate to all the relationships I have had in my life not one.
I just want to know what ppl think about a how lot of things.
Thanks for your advice by the way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Yes, having that aspect denied after a while would cause a feeling of rejection, and over time, she would no longer be trusted.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks readers for your help. I should say it was really a first date it was not like we just said to each other lets have a one night stand. But, then after a first date it is not like you can say you are in a relationship. It just happened after talking for hours ohh and a little bit of alcohol, but it was no different in the morning when we were sober, it was still good. But, I tend to agree with the anonymous reader I think sex and emotional connection is equally as important. I guess if you suddenly turn off sexually after you have done the guy can feel rejected. They think why it has already happened anyway, what she got to worry about it. To be honest come on guys if your girlfriend told you she did not want to sleep with you for a while how many months would you give her. Would she still be your girlfriend how many of you would be in the relationship in a years time.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 The import of your question is only just dawning on me.
I think it's possible to broaden a relationship from the purely sexual to something more. If you talked for hours and you clicked, then there is more than something sexual going on here.
The problem is that the relationship went sexual too quickly, and now you want reassurance that it can be pursued without degenerating into "friendship with benefits".
You really need to find out how he thinks. Be honest. Tell him you don't want FWB, and if that's all he wants, forget it. See what he says.
You might consider going out with the guy, stipulating that you only want dinner/conversation etc., absolutely no sex. See if he can agree to that, and make him stick to it on the date. If you care about yourself, you won't just jump in bed with him again.
If he's seriously interested in you, he should be able to accept that condition. If he can't, don't meet him.
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male
reader, oldfool +, writes (29 April 2008):
Mind-blowingly good sex... I might think about it. Mind-blowingly intimate sex and a fantastic feeling of comfort being in their arms. I'd definitely be back for more, and seriously consider finding out more about them.
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male
reader, zgeek +, writes (29 April 2008):
 great sex on a one night stand would definitely spike some interest. but it is not sex that will convince a guy they want to go out with you. In that mindset one can get guys that just want to have sex. no romance. they really might not care for you. they're just there for the pleasure.
what really attracts a guy is your personality. yes your boobs. your butt. and other physical aspects do to. but what really will give you a good loving relationship (assuming that is what you are aiming for) will be you. not just how good you are in bed. not just your boos or your butt. even though those can be part of it. the main thing is you. A girl that just has a one night stand and then its over would seem to lack respect for herself. so a guy might assume that she might have no respect for him also.
But then again I will agree with Uncle Phil on the point that yes it is wonderful if you have a sexual compatibility as well as an intellectual. but how far dose that compatibility stretch? can the two of you ever think you could come to love each other. or would you be more comfortable with just settling for FWB?
But all in all A man. not saying all. But from my opinion a guy will want a deeper relationship with a girl than just sex. He will look for more. So no great sex on a one night stand will have him coming back for more. But that dose not mean he will be more inclined to actually go out with you. or otherwise have a more serious relationship.
hope that helped :)
Zgeek
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): I am currently married (15 plus years) to the wonderful woman and mother of my kids -- and it started out with mind-blowingly great sex on the first date (after a wonderfully intense conversation showing total intellectual and emotional compatibility). It was uncharacteristic for her, too, but we've been happy ever since. For me it wasn't so out of character. Before we married, I dated a lot. I have always been oriented toward meaningful relationships but good sex has to be a part of the picture for me. If the woman was not receptive to that pretty early on, I would be likely to move on. If she was completely into it from day one, that would encourage me to dig deeper for a more meaningful relationship connection. So my answer to your question is yes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Great sex on the first night? I may ask to go out again, but nothing would tell me it was time to go to the alter or make this a permenent thing. Sex is good, but that only makes up a small fraction of the time we'd be spending together, and that time must be good to, hopefully, just as good as the sex was.
I have had this situation before, great sex, would have wanted more, but there were a few negatives mentioned that I knew it wouldn't be a long term relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): I suppose having sex does kind of mess up an otherwise friendly set-up.
If doing what you enjoyed makes you feel cheap and easy, what does that make him? Don't you think that's a sort of double standard in a reverse fashion? He's no more cheap than you are.
If you can start a relationship by having great sex together, I'd call that a fucking good start! How many people find they're intellectually compatible but when it comes to having sex, which usually comes about after the initial intellectual conversation, he wants it once a week and she wants it no more than once every six months?
Sexual compatibility is equally important as any other aspect of a relationship, so if you've got that, you've got a chance of a future. Get in there and enjoy!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thanks for making me fell a bit better Uncle Phil.
But, I do find of feel guilty that I just did something which I really do not normally do and now the guy just thinks I am cheap and easy.
I keep rejecting his calls as I am so guilty I feel I am getting myself into a relationship based on sex rather than getting to know each other.
I mean after you have done it, it is hard to go back and just say lets be friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Accidental sex? No such thing.
He said all the things you wanted to hear? Of course he did - he wanted to get his end away.
Mind blowing? Maybe. I doubt it but it's obvious he wants a repeat performance, in which case it ain't no longer a one night stand!
Feeling guilty? Why? What's to feel guilty about? He enjoyed it, you enjoyed it, everybody's happy.
Life is far too short to try to analyse these sort of situations.
If it feels good, do it. Life is for living, so get out there and live it. It's not a rehearsal. When you get to my age you'll kick your own arse for passing up on opportunities missed, never to be relived.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe did say it was mind blowing. He keeps calling anyway and he does not have to do that.
But, I do feel guilty over it hence my post.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt just happened by accident. We were talking for ages I felt like I knew him, he just said all the things I wanted to hear. He still calls me though.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Why under value yourself and fuck a man on the first night?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Yeah he did tell me that and keeps calling me, so far I have declined.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): How do you know if it was mind-blowing for him? Did he tell you that? If it was a one night stand, I would take such comments with a grain of salt. Chances are it was nothing special.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Actually this poster has three threads going at the moment.
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female
reader, PreciousNY +, writes (28 April 2008):
I agree with rproctor. A man will never want a relationship with someone who has had sex with them as a one night stand. The man will see it as....if you were that easy with him, you would be with someone else and are not trustworthy and lack self respect.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): It would probably make me wanna have more great sex with her.
But not necessarily wanna commit to her and call it a relationship. This is what FWB was invented for.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 April 2008):
You have posted this letter already!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I only mean after you have talk for hours and it is completely unplanned it just happens.I mean not all sex is good right? And most one night stands are crap so if it is mind blowing would that make you change your mind?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Do you really want someone to be with you just for the sex? Do you think that little of yourself? It wont be a relationship if he only calls you if he wants something, would it?
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male
reader, rproctor +, writes (28 April 2008):
NoBecause if I can have sex with a girl in a one night stand she obviously lacks respect for herself. And if she can not respect herself she cannot respect her partner.
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