How can I look better?
Q. Hello! I really need someone to help me out!! So I been having a problem on wearing dresses because my armpits are kind of black. How can I remove it? Is there a away u can remove the blackness away? I also have black in the middle between my legs! ...
A. 27 February 2011: Hi. Your age might play a part in making your skin appear darker in certain areas at the moment. So it could be temporary. As your hormone levels settle the skin could lighten again.
In the meantime, if its dark skin pigmentation, you wont be able... (read in full...)
I've always found it hard to make friends. I thought it would change when I went to Uni, but it hasn't! Please help!
Q. I know there are a lot of pleas for help on how not to be so lonely and how to make more friends but here is mine, another to add to the list! The only time when I feel comfortable and I can truly be myself (whoever that is) is when I am with my ...
A. 26 February 2011: I notice you immediately commented on your own post as if it was not very important. Just another 'add to the list' plea for advice. Dont do that to yourself. You are putting yourself down as soon as you start! Your issues are as valid as anyone ... (read in full...)
We're not even going out and he loves me?
Q. So there's this guy he tells me over text all the time that he loves me but he's never told me that in person and we're not even going out. Does he really mean he loves me or is it just a little 'crush'?...
A. 26 February 2011: It might be a crush. But sometimes when boys like a girl and want her to know. They overshoot the runway a little when trying to impress and gain her attention. And they say things like love, when what they really mean is that they like her. So ... (read in full...)
How can I gain clarity about my situation?
Q. This is my life. I live with my girlfriend. I get up for work at 6am everyday and return around 7pm. My girlfriend does odd jobs and persues her creative work. We have not had a sexual relationship for well over a year. I don't really know how this ...
A. 26 February 2011: Hello the best way to gain clarity is to seek counselling. You have a lot of negative things happening in your life at present and its easy to get 'bogged down' by it all. So you could try seeking a good counsellor in your area for evening ... (read in full...)
How do I tell people I am gay??.... No one knows!!
Q. Im gay and iv always known that but no 1 else does how do i come out????? plz help...
A. 6 February 2011: If you have a good relationship with your mum or another close family member, trying talking to them about it first. They will be able to help you come out to the rest of your family and be there for you if you need support. Once you have your ... (read in full...)
Should I wait until Valentines Day to tell her my true feelings?
Q. hi everyone, i had a question, theres a girl (she's single and just a year younger) who i've liked for a while now. I want to tell her how i feel and me and her have been kinda flirty lately and i was thinking about doing this on valentines day. G...
A. 6 February 2011: Hi i think thats a lovely idea. You could send her a card, keeping it light and flirty. If she responds favourably, all well and good. If she backs down a little, you will have saved face. Because if the card isnt too over the top, you can just say ... (read in full...)
How much time on Facebook is "normal"
Q. this isnt really a question, its more of a wondering :) is it normal for people to spend all day everyday on facebook. two of my best friends do it and i dont no any other people who do that but is it normal? thanks btw :)...
A. 28 December 2010: Hi. I think spending all day, every day on FB is rather odd. Its supposed to be a way of staying in contact not a way of life. If their time online is affecting them to the extent that they are neglecting themselves and their 'real time' friends, ... (read in full...)
Is he serious in his long term commitment to me?
Q. Alright, so I'm kind of stuck on what I should do, so I need some advice. I'm a 25 year old gay male who has been in a 4 month long relationship with a guy who I met on a hook-up site over the summer. We decided to start dating and I've been pre...
A. 28 December 2010: Hi. I agree that you need to sit this guy down and have a frank chat with him. Find out whats behind his need to keep telling you who he would like to have sex with. Is he insecure and just trying to make you jealous? Only by talking to him and ... (read in full...)
Scared, pregnant, freaking out and nowhere to go.
Q. I'm still in highschool. I was with this guy for like a year now. We had sex and we used a condom. But the condom broke. And now I'm pregnant. My boyfriend broke up with me after he found out. Now he's with this girl that was supposed to be my best ...
A. 26 December 2010: Hello. My first thought on reading your post was that you would be better off having an abortion. But as i read on, i realised you cant. Im not sure how many weeks pregnant you are but it sounds as if you are already bonding with your unborn child. ... (read in full...)
My husband just left out of the blue, and I really don't know what to do!
Q. My Husband left me 5 days ago. I came home to a note on the table stating that he was leaving. He told me he would let his next check go into the bank. He left his debit and atm card on the table with his key. Well we have a 11yr old son together ...
A. 23 December 2010: Hi. If you have joint bank accounts with him. It might be wise to try and close them. If he is behaving unpredictably and decides to take out a loan on one of the accounts or go over the agreed limit on them, you would jointly be liable for any ... (read in full...)
Feel weird of jealous about flirting?
Q. A girl i have gone to school with since i was 12 has recently become single. shes always had a thing for my bf of a year and they had a 'thing' a couple years before me and him got together. my bf was out the other night and he told me that they got...
A. 21 December 2010: You are welcome and Happy Christmas to you both.... (read in full...)
Feel weird of jealous about flirting?
Q. A girl i have gone to school with since i was 12 has recently become single. shes always had a thing for my bf of a year and they had a 'thing' a couple years before me and him got together. my bf was out the other night and he told me that they got...
A. 20 December 2010: Hi. Your worry doesnt sound pathetic. If its something that bothers you then it isnt pathetic. Id probably feel the same if my partner came home and told me his old flame is single now and out there 'looking'. My first thought would be that she can ... (read in full...)
Our "friend" has a reputation for going after taken men, and now we've broken up over her!
Q. Have been in the relationship 4 years, after being friends for about a year. I really enjoy being with him, and i thought he felt the same. Over the past year, our jobs have kept us in contact with a woman who is now the catalyst of our troubles. I ...
A. 20 December 2010: Hi. It would be hard not to feel threatened! And if shes sending him signals that she will have sex with him. Then shes NOT your friend. Hes playing with fire as he must know her track record. And his text messages are inappropriate. The reality is, ... (read in full...)
My wife to be broke up with me and I've turned to drinking and fighting to cope
Q. hi erm i new too this but i need help. my wife to be broke up with me and it still hurts. ive started drinking alot an fighting aswell i havent spoke to my mates or my dad for months! i just feel soo small and worthless ive not seen another girl for ...
A. 19 December 2010: Hello. Im sorry to hear you suffered a break up. Its always a shame when people get hurt like that. Im afraid it happens to all of us at some time or another, you arent alone.
There will have been things she wasnt happy about for her to go. So tryi... (read in full...)
Paranoid about naked photos I sent of myself
Q. I sent naked photos of myself over the Internet to someone I chat to. I know this was really really stupid but the guy is really genuine and he did the same etc. He lives in America (thank God) and I'm in the UK and he doesn't have any other info on ...
A. 10 December 2010: I wouldnt worry too much. If hes married theres a good chance he deletes things regularly so his wife doesnt discover anything. I wouldnt rely on him deleting things because he can be trusted to keep his word. His wife would know hes not good at ... (read in full...)
My man is upset because women don't hit on him?
Q. I am a bit upset at the moment . The man I have been dating just left my home after an arugement . He didn't understand why I would get upset when he started talking about how he wishes women would hit on him ... And I was the only person in four ...
A. 15 November 2010: Its a guy/girl thing. I think alot of folk like to think theyve still 'got it going on'. We are all told we should love ourselves and not care what others think. We should be secure enough, not to need outside validation that we are attractive ect ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and ex-wife have terrible boundaries, I am not allowed to be around his child!
Q. I have been dating a divorced guy for 2+ years. He has been divorced about this long as well. His ex-wife lived in another state with their child, but recently moved here to be closer by. She has known he was dating this entire time, and never had ...
A. 12 November 2010: The only advice i can offer is that you do as i did. At first i tried to keep out of things and just offered my partner support. But over time i realised how badly my partner and his ex wife were affecting MY life and as such, that gave me a right ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and ex-wife have terrible boundaries, I am not allowed to be around his child!
Q. I have been dating a divorced guy for 2+ years. He has been divorced about this long as well. His ex-wife lived in another state with their child, but recently moved here to be closer by. She has known he was dating this entire time, and never had ...
A. 12 November 2010: You are being very patient. Not only towards his ex wife but to your partner too. Having said that, it must have been quite an upheaval for her and her daughter to move state, just to be close by. And im wondering what tempted her to do that. Are ... (read in full...)
I have a boil down south!
Q. I have a boil "down there" and I am scared that my "guy friend" will think im disgusting. Its nothing bad its not like i have a STD or something its just a boil but it terrifies me that he will tell me to get out. Should i be worried? What should i ...
A. 11 November 2010: Hi. If i were you. I wouldnt do anything with him until youve got it checked out. It could be something simple like an ingrowing hair....quite common 'down south'. But it really needs to be checked out properly by a doctor, because at the very least ... (read in full...)
Since he dumped me he stalks my facebook page
Q. I need big help. I met a charming fellow on a dating site a year ago and it seemed we really hit it off but there was something about him that didn't sit quite well. One week he aadored me and the next he would unexplainedly treat me like crap and ...
A. 17 October 2010: Hes probably prying because hes curious and has nothing better to do. Lets face it. With a personality like his. He probably spends alot of time bored and alone. He treated you badly and you are well rid of him. But remember you treated him like a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend beating me--is there any safe way out of this?
Q. Ok, so I've been with this guy for 3 years, and he's been hitting me for a while now. A long time actually. After we were together for only 6 months he started to hit and it has continued these past three years. I had the option of course, like ...
A. 27 September 2010: If your neighbour is offering to provide you with shelter its probably a bad idea. You need to get right away from your abuser, put as much distance and as many people between you and him as possible. Moving up the road, seemingly with another man, ... (read in full...)
He doesn't deserve to be a father so what do I do? Have it aborted or what?
Q. I am nine weeks pregnant, almost ten. I am engaged to my boyfriend. I was not planning on getting pregnant and never thought having kids was something i had to do. I found i was pregnant and told my finace and he was so happy and exited. I was not. ...
A. 24 September 2010: Well done for kicking the habit. Thats brilliant! I think its the man you should remove not your baby. If he doesnt have the will power to give up drugs he will just take you down with him one way or another. Having a child on the other hand, is a ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to my wife's younger, sexier sister
Q. I'm married for over three years now with my wife. I met her 5 years before that. My wife was really good-looking when I met her, but a couple of months before the wedding she began to gain weight, at least 20 lbs. from what I can tell, and most...
A. 24 September 2010: Hi. I know someone who crushed on his wifes younger sister. He had no idea that his wife knew, until they split up and it was one of the reasons she gave for meeting someone else. So take care your wife doesn't find out how you feel about her ... (read in full...)
Is he dreaming of having sex with the other woman?
Q. Hello again.... I have a second or shall I say third delima. Now since my husband and I are tring to work on our marriage......we dont have sex anymore like we use to. Since I found out about this affair and the possible baby we have had sexmaybe ...
A. 23 September 2010: I would try not to think into it too deeply. He was having a dream and we cant control those. If you two havent been having sex, it may be starting to play on his mind and trouble his sleep.
Given that he cheated, anything slightly suspicious will... (read in full...)
How do they manage to sleep at night, tormenting others all day?
Q. Hey all. I need to talk to someone about this. Today I gave notice in my job and I feel utterly deflated. Having been in the job for less than a year, everyday in that office has been a living HELL - to put it mildly. Despite being qualified...
A. 23 September 2010: With respect, she did this to you because you allowed her to. You should have filed a grievance against her for shouting at you at the very least. Employment laws cover bullying in the work place. And what she was doing to you was/is bullying. If ... (read in full...)
My husband is trying to make out I'm crazy!
Q. dear cupid... my husband lies in every single thing and makes me feel that I'm going crazy that he never said things or never does anything. i think he is cheating on me and i know he never loved me but i do love him so much. I dont know what to ...
A. 21 September 2010: You might love him but you must love yourself more. You deserve to be treated much better. Hes definately a liar and not a very good one. So when you catch him lying he denies it. Talks bs to cover his tracks, leaves you feeling confused. Then tries ... (read in full...)
Is it age difference or what's going on here?
Q. Hello, i am having problems in my relationship right now! I am 21 and my boyfriend is 29 we started dating 4 months ago but we have been very good friends since i was 15, I moved to Chicago a year ago because i was offered a scholarship by The ...
A. 19 September 2010: Hi. Youve got it in one. He is being selfish. Im in a mature relationship with a busy man and theres a large age gap. We live together so i see him every day. He still sends up to ten messages a day and calls when he can. So your boyfriend is making ... (read in full...)
Imaginary lover!
Q. We've been married for three years. He is my second husband and I adore him. I’m 35 and he’s 39. I’m still very attracted to him. I'm an attractive woman with a not so bad figure, but my confidence is at an all time low. My husband is turned on by ...
A. 17 September 2010: You are servicing his needs. While your need seems to be an exclusive sexual relationship with him. Its not uncommon for those that want other sexual partners to start as he did. Ie introducing the idea, encouraging you to have sex outside the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends looking at other guys!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months and we have a pretty good relationship and I love him very much. He does a lot of nice things for me and with me and I do the same for him too. We are in a same sex relationship. ...
A. 16 September 2010: Theres looking, which is perfectly natural and we all do it. And im sure you accept that. Then theres "perving". Which can be embarrassing and unsettling for a partner. If your boyfriend was single for a while before you met him, he may still be in ... (read in full...)
Daughter is having an affair/baby with a married man...
Q. Hello. My 24 year old daughter is having an affair with a 30 year old married man. It has been going on, correspondence/physical since the end of 2008. Before he was deployed to Iraq, she got pregnant and soon will be giving birth to his son. She ...
A. 16 September 2010: Im sure your daughter isnt a bad person. Shes probably got a sweet nature and was sucked in by this mans sob story about his wife. You and i can see this because we are older wiser and we arent emotionally involved. Obviously its different for your ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react to the nurses comments?
Q. My boyfriend had knee surgery today. We r both in our thirties and the nurse looked about our age. Well she called him sweetie which didn't bother me but then she said babe r u ready to go in,well that mad me mad and I walked out. As I was walking ...
A. 15 September 2010: It might have been a slight over reaction to walk out at the time but in a professional sense, the nurse was behaving inappropriately. And your boyfriend could lodge a complaint should he wish. Calling patients by names other than their given names ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react to the nurses comments?
Q. My boyfriend had knee surgery today. We r both in our thirties and the nurse looked about our age. Well she called him sweetie which didn't bother me but then she said babe r u ready to go in,well that mad me mad and I walked out. As I was walking ...
A. 15 September 2010: It might have been a slight over reaction to walk out at the time but in a professional sense, the nurse was behaving inappropriately. And your boyfriend could lodge a complaint should he wish. Calling patients by names other than their given names ... (read in full...)
Why am I such a coward with girls?
Q. I just want to know why am i such a coward when it comes to girls. Every girl I like I am to cowardly to tell them. The first girl I ever liked I starade at and never really talked to her except in the eith grade(two years after we met). The second ...
A. 25 July 2010: I dont think you are cowardly. Just a little shy and unsure of yourself. And many people are like that. But thats ok because girls dont want or expect a guy to march up to them and blurt out how they feel. You dont need to do that because they will ... (read in full...)
Everyone is rude to me!
Q. I live in the Greensboro/High Point area of North Carolina, and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand it. People here are obscenely rude to me on a regular basis, and I don't tolerate it. It happens to me several times a day! For exampl...
A. 25 July 2010: I think sometimes when you travel abroad and experience other cultures then go home again to your own, you see it with fresh eyes. Thats what youve done and you dont like what you see. Its got nothing to do with your looks. Its peoples lack of basic ... (read in full...)
Need suggestions regarding my marriage, he had an affair and I need help here??
Q. I am with my husband for 9 years of my life, he was my first love and everything else and I am first also. We have been married for 4 years and we have a daughter together. I have been with my husband thru thick and thin especially when ...
A. 24 July 2010: Im very sorry to hear youve been through this. Its devastating when you discover the person you thought you knew doesnt exist. And you are suddenly confronted with a liar and cheat. It destroys everything, yourself esteem included. You worry that he ... (read in full...)
Based on my symptoms, what could be wrong?
Q. I AM 35 Years Old(Male). I am feeling very very weak right from the time I wake up and till i sleep again.even in dream also i always sees myself of not being able to move my leg or hand.My legs also trembling most of the time. The whole day I could ...
A. 22 July 2010: Hello. Go to your doctor and tell him about your symptoms. He will examine you and tell you if there is an issue with your health. I hope you feel better soon. ... (read in full...)
Will I get hurt having an affair with a married man?
Q. A few months ago I met a man online just chatting he told me right off that he was married and that he and his wife love each other yet they do allow each other to do whatever they wish . Anyway we clicked and we met up we just had our sceond ...
A. 22 July 2010: Hello. Its a no win situation for you really. If hes telling the truth about having an open marriage...and thats a big IF because i think hes lying to you...what can you possibly hope to gain by sleeping with a married man who loves his wife? And if ... (read in full...)
Is my vagina sore because it was rough or another reason?
Q. it had been a month at th longest since ive had sex, and i just recently had sex on saturday night just gone, it is now wednesday. i have a really sore vagina, like it hurts when i pee, th sex was rough though. is that normal? should i go see the ...
A. 22 July 2010: Yes it does. Thanks for updating us and good lass for getting it sorted quickly x... (read in full...)
Should I come clean about my real age?
Q. hi met my boyfriend in class i'm 32 he's 21 we hit off right away studing for test and hangin out at school over spring break i noticed he liked me and he said he did and we started dating. i have already met his family including grandmom and have ...
A. 21 July 2010: Hi. I would just tell him and get it over with. It will be easier to do it now rather than wait, because the longer you leave it the worse you will feel. My partner owned up to a few lies after we had been together a year and he felt it was safe to ... (read in full...)
Is my vagina sore because it was rough or another reason?
Q. it had been a month at th longest since ive had sex, and i just recently had sex on saturday night just gone, it is now wednesday. i have a really sore vagina, like it hurts when i pee, th sex was rough though. is that normal? should i go see the ...
A. 21 July 2010: Go and see your doctor and have it checked properly. It could be that the rough sex has caused a urine infection. It can happen. Speak to your doctor.... (read in full...)
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