A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hey there i'm not regular to this site but hope someone might like to give me advice. . . . . . I'm a 25 year old man, i do not have a job as I quit a few months back and I'm a writer. . . I drink most nights a week and live with my parents. . okay okay you probably are geting a bad impresion of me already. . . but here goes nothing. . . I believe I have fallen for a 15 year old girl. I know her a little over a year and have chatted to her online alot since then. . . I noticed her before she found me on the internet, she obviously noticed me to in the place i worked. I did not know her age until after she got in contact and told me she was 1 year older than she was. i have made a good friend in this girl and do not want to lose her. . . we have had many heart to hearts but are both shy offline. I have said strange things when i was drunk to this girl but i think she took them personaly and likes me a lot. . . . I have a reputation as someone who gets with younger girls but i find myself thinking about her alot and she is usually with olde rmen. . . . . . we dont chat online as much as we used to as i have alot to do with my writing and socialising but i think about her. shes very mature for her age and does not even socialise with people her own age. . I am almost positive she likes me but i'm worried what people will think if we did get together? do you think it is unfair on her if i make a move? please let me know what you think about this situatian.
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drunk, live with my parents, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Have you considered a drinking problem? Fixing this can help fix all other areas of your life. Alcoholic Anonymous can help. Try it!
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 It's wrong to do this. I'm a parent too, and I keep think as my girls progress through the teen years, it's time to buy that shotgun.
I think if you pursue this, the next post we'll be seeing is asking for everyone to send you soap on a rope.
You need to get your priorities in line. You're writing, but living with mommy. I'd be embarrassed at your age to be still at home. I'm a musician, but I'm also about done with a degree in law, and I've worked in upper level management for 12 years, and I'm a single parent. I love music, but my I have to balance my priorities and can't give up on everything else just to focus on that.
You need to find someone your own age.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): dude you should totally go for it! dont listen to what these other people are saying, they're just jealous that they can't find somebody who they can get along with so well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Not sure if this post was real or not.
Go for it bud. I am in me 30's and I am dating younger. I love her and she loves me even with the age difference. I cant put her age in this post because I would get in trouble.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): well well well your a grown man of 25 years old don't you think it was about time you had yourself a career and some life goals instead of living at home with your mother drinking.you obviosuly have trouble to with finding women your own age to,as you are lusting over a 15yr old girl which is exactly what she is a GIRL, she's more then likely feeling vulnerable and also curious about herself. i think you should stay well away as if you do continue your relationship with her you may well find your self in a situation of being charged with statastory rape and pedophillia.and im sure her parenst would have a field day with that one, so stay well away from her, that is if you have any respect for the girl and yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): She's only 15 and you're 25. That's too big a age gap to consider a relationship. Just stay friends.
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A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (2 February 2007):
 I couldn't agree wth EDDIE more!!! As you wrote your statements about getting with a 15 year old, I hope you had an ounce of reality slap in you in the face!!! Utterly, disgusting and predatorial behavior. This girl is a minor....leave her alone. She'll have enough bad experiences in her life with teens her own age, she doesn't need you to scar her forever. Get a life. Get a job. And, stay away from young girls.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): ++Or worse, my wife.++
Haha... 8]
As for 25 Mr. Anon, I say give her a few years, at least when she reaches 18 or so. I mean, if you think about it, her mentality might not be well defined at this moment in time. Heck, thinking back when I was 15 compared to how I am now gives me the shudders. Right now, she needs to collect herself, grow up a bit, and have the opportunity to seek herself out. You'll simply be a part of her obstacle possibly.
Yes, I understand that she may have potential, but let her potential come out rather than hindered. Despite my neutrality in this, as much as I can, the least you can do is give her space and freedom to do the things she needs to do first. That is, unless your mentality is less defined and premature as well. Otherwise, you should stick with being friends more than anything.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 January 2007):
You answered this question yourself when you described yourself. You're a 25 year old MAN !!!!! That is the end of the debate. Stay away from children!! Nothing you say makes any difference. It's wrong and if she was my daughter, you'd have to deal with me. Or worse, my wife.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 You need to be very careful here, this girl IS still only 15 years old and is still considered a minor. Continue to chat with her by all means, but I wouldn't see her on her own until she's at least 16, even then you'll need to take things slowly with her.
Meanwhile I would continue with your writing and cut down on the booze, you may be giving her the wrong impression of you when under the influence and if you want respect from her then I suggest you talk to her sober. Continue to write, get a job and cut down on the booze, that way you will have something to offer her if you DO both get together one day.
There is no reason though, whey you can't remain friends with her and continue to have heart to heart talks, then when the time is right and if she's willing then you can meet with her where there's people around. Take it slowly though. Remember YOU are the adult here so set a good example for her to follow.
I wish you all the best.
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): I think you are stuck in adolescence and don't feel very good about yourself right now, you are 25, living with your parents and you have a drinking problem if you drink every night and get drunk fequently. You don't have a job and need to find one soon, even if it is working at the mall, get a job, it will make you feel better. Stop drinking to get drunk, you need to be on the other side of this behavior, as you are gaining on 30, not 21.
A 15 year old is a child, she may seem more mature than her age as a lot of girls this age are playing at being an adult and doing things to make themselves feel more sophisticated and worldly than they are. She probably is barely out of braces and just began her first menstural period within the last 3 years....she is looking for attention from you and you have given her some, so stop it.
You are way too old for her at this stage in her life, and I think it shows your lack of character and maturity to select a child to be romantically smitten.
You are not a good friend either if you don't keep your boundaries and wits about you. It s illegal for adults to date children in most countries.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): I agree with the second, third and forth points made by maxsteel, especially number 3, this is a 15 year old girl, and thats what she is a girl, you are a man (apparently) and should be looking for a woman to go out with no matter how much you think she likes you back move on, because basically it's quite wrong!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnot female. . . am male. donno why it says female. . .
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (30 January 2007):
 ok, first you're confused. Are you a male or female? Pick the right gender. Second you're a bum. Third, you're a closet peado, fourth, leave her alone and finally, I dont think this was a serious post
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (30 January 2007):
 If you were 30 and she was 20, then I'd say alright. However, this is a 15 year old girl. At this point in a woman's life, she's curious about men, vulnerable and I might venture to say - naïve. She's only a sophomore in high school, if tat. Do you remember what life was like for you at the beginning of high school? Hormones raging, trying to get used to your body and yourself... at 15, you're still trying to figure things out.
At 25, I would hope that you have learned a couple things yourself and I really think that you ought to be mature enough to know better.
Give her 4-5 more years, buddy. Then, go for it.
xxIndia
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): No! Leave her alone and be the adult and good citizen you should be. Enough said!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): It depends on how strongly you feel about her. If you really care about her I don't think age should matter, as long as you are serious about her. It's strange but love is blind...good luck.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Well 25 year old male / Female anon
I really dont think your reputation with younger girls is something you should deliberately enhance. I feel you are treading VERY dangerous ground here. Gossip can be a really bad thing, so getting yourself involved further will not help you at all.
Let the girl do her own thing and find somebody of your own age and maturity level. Spend your spare time seeking employment and brushing up on your writing skills. Best of luck
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