A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now, and we have been trying (and failing) to have full intercourse on an off for about 15 months now. At first he had problems with getting and maintaining an erection. Now the problem is that he cannot penetrate me with his penis. He has tried inserting one finger and that is okay, but two fingers hurt. The problem isn't dryness as we use plenty of lubrication. Any help would be greatly appreciated - it is a cloud hanging over our relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, well we are both 21 and both virgins. Wow, they were quick responses! Yeah, one finger is fine, but using two fingers to see how much it will sort of stretch, just hurts too much. If two fingers can't go in easily, there isn't much hope for the penis is there? With time, will it just become easier? Okay, so even more lubrication and just to keep trying is the best approach to the problem? Me and my boyfriend discussed it not long ago and we both felt a bit scared to keep trying as much because it never works - sort of like now developing a fear of failure?
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 This sounds like a condition called vaginismus. Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina that closes the vagina. This condition causes penetration to be difficult and painful, or even impossible.
It is a condition with several possible causes that may result from past sexual trauma or abuse, other psychological factors, or a history of discomfort with sexual intercourse. Sometimes no cause can be determined.
This is not a diagnosis but only a possible cause.
In my opinion you should get in to see your Gynocologist for a proper diagnosis and treatment.
Don't give up all hope though. With treatment there is a very high rate of success. Doc.
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A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (14 February 2007):
 First sexual encounters are often difficult. I assume he can't penetrate you b/c you are whincing in pain?? Breaking the hymen...it's a fold of mucous membrane which surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening is painful. You will bleed afterwards too, this is normal. Tell your b/f to go very slowly but, he will have to push deeper to break the hymen. Sorry, first times are often difficult.
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A
female
reader, mylove_5757 +, writes (14 February 2007):
 i had the same problem
and i looked everywhere on the internet
and i came to this site and the people who answered my question really helped
we had only tried once and couldnt do it and the next time we were fine.
ill give you the link to my question
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/were-both-virgins-and-he-couldnt-get-it.html
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A
female
reader, mylove_5757 +, writes (14 February 2007):
i had the same problem
literally
i looked everywhere for an answer and i came to this site
the people who answered my question could probably help you
ill give you the link to mine
a href="http://www.dearcupid.org/question/were-both-virgins-and-he-couldnt-get-it.html"
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