A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi i dont know where to start last year i found out my husband had joined adult friend finder and a couple of other sites he was emailing women arranging to meet them when i told him i had found out he said he wouldnt have done anything i know he did go to meet one of the women but she didnt show up i decided to get the truth out of him i would join and start talking to him through that he didnt know it was me but i couldnt get any straight answers out of him so i thought that was the best thing to do he said it was excitement he wanted anyway i told him i knew and he deleted his accounts but just after christmas i found out he was doing it again hes been talking to me on the adult site now for two weeks he obviously doesnt know its me and he has promised he wouldnt do it ever again what do i do i was thinking of arranging to meet him to see if he turns up of course it would be me not another woman please help
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female
reader, youngmaybefoolish  +, writes (13 January 2011):
two years ago i found adult friend finder on our home computer in the history. i asked him why it was in our history he said he had no idea and that he would never do that. now he has a labtop with a webcam and wouldn't you know it, i found the same site and videocam stuff in the same place,the internet history, this time he said his work buddy had used the computer while they were away doing a job. i have recently got engaged to this man but as much as i want to believe him, its hard to just go on someone's word, i also have downloaded the keystroke logger. i will not marry someone who is doing this kind of thing. it is a huge breach of trust and i consider it cheating especially with the webcam. who knows what goes on in front of one of those. i've tried setting up an account with them but for some reason it won't let me so the only thing i can do is use the keystroke logger. maybe someone has some other ideas to help me?
A
female
reader, HOLLEE Price  +, writes (19 September 2008):
its betrayel no matter how you look at it
but most likley he is a sex addict.....no other reason for the shopping!
get out
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): My boyfriend is doing the same thing i think. I saw payment s to that website on his bank statement, so , now i have created an account to try to catch him out the same as you. Ive also down loaded a keystroke logger so that i can see what else may be going on via email accounts etc. This may sound devious, but i need solid proof before i can go through the heart break of ending our 5 yr relationship, and we have kids so none of this is taken lightly i can assure you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): I caught my boyfriend on there also.I wish i would had did the same thing you did.Keep quite and meet him.Before you do ask him his sexual interest and if he is married and what his wife is like.Bust him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): I think instead of focusing on the action - i.e. his talking to women on Adult Friend Finder, focusing on the WHY'S would be more beneficial. In a NON JUDGEMENTAL manner, sit down and talk TO him (not AT him) about his actions. He said he needs "excitement" - what does that mean to him? To you? Is there a fetish that he is longing to engage in that he is afraid to tell you about? Does he see you as not adventurous enough in the bedroom, and would that be a correct viewpoint? Has sex become stale because you have needs that you haven't communicated to him? Maybe there is something YOU would like that you're not getting?
Maybe some fun play with another couple would spice things up a bit?
It can be VERY exciting to explore these areas TOGETHER. Instead of logging in and trying to corner him, why not start exploring the site YOURSELF and see what turns YOU on? Read some of the articles, read the threads in various groups.. see what people are saying. There are folks on there from all walks of life, some are into more hardcore things than others, but maybe from reading a bit you could open your mind.
Opening your mind could not only save your marriage, but could be the beginning of a new and really exciting phase of your marriage as well!
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A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (31 January 2007):
 Wow, good job! You really pulled it off! I think at this point he's broken a promise. You had every right to see what he was up to. What is the root of your husbands curiosity? Does he talk dirty with them, need a friend, or what's his deal? I'd want to see if he takes this further and actually tries to meet her (you). If he does, that's a whole nother ball game. You need to start asking yourself if you're ready to leave him over this. And, let him know it's not the porn you're leaving him over, it's the broken promises and lies! I say follow your plan all the way through. He has no moral high ground to take here. Best of LUck.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (29 January 2007):
 Even though I think what you've done is EXACTLY what I would have done in the same situation, I think your husband will see it as an invasion of his privacy if you were to meet him as whoever you pretend to be when you're speaking. You haven't mentioned whether you have kids or not. I think when kids are involved in a marriage it's important to do as much as possible to save it and you can tell him that if he loves his kids at all he'll stop doing this. If you don't have any kids then you can ask him to treat you with a little more respect because this isn't good enough and after that I guess you just need to decide whether you can live with him doing this or if you can't and act according to that decision. Sorry you're going through this.
CD
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