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female
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anonymous
writes: i was with someone for over 3 years...rather than rehash all the tiny things that made me insecure, jealous, just didn't feel right etc...i can admit i was wrong on some of those things and reacted too jealous at times and should have been more relaxed..alot of my friends and even family said some of the things he said, did--- even if tiny would make most feel the same way i didi knew he loved me but i think he got fed up and it is why he left...the break up was not easy and i took it very badly..he was my first love, first time etc..met him when i was almost 21 and now i am 25...i did contact him a few months after through text message kind of saying you do still mean everything to me, i love you etc..and he just wasnt ready for it..basically said this isn't about him moving on or getting over me..he just isn't ready to do this all over again and its not a switch to turn on and off etc etc..i have left him alone for months..pretty much almost a year and in that time i have kept myself busy---traveled, worked out, met new friends, been on some dates..but deep inside i still miss him and feel regret for some of the things i did and still love him dearly...i am thinking of leaving him a v-mail just basically saying "i know its been a long time, been thinking about you and wondering how you are and how have you been..if you want, give me a call or text back"....and just see what may come of it.....we don't live in the exact same neighborhood so running into him by chance is not going to happen and we donot have mutual friends..so the only way to do this is through text, e-mail, or v-mail.i know its a very high chance nothing will happen and i will be putting myself out there for rejection...but i figured i am sad without him..why not give it one last shot see if something can happen very slowly because i will be contacting him in a calm manner this time...atleast then i can look back and say i did make mistakes but i tried a few months later and then a year later to see if time can heal things and make things better and i really fought for the person i loved.....thank you for reading.
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (29 August 2009):
Here's the thing, you two haven't been together in years--so bascially you can't just start out in a full-on exclusive relationship. It would be something that you would have to build on. Start with a friendship first, then try to move on from there. Although you feel more, give it more of a platonic vibe, that way he will feel more comfortable and even maybe a little more interested in wanting to talk/see you if he knows that you're not trying to start a serious relationship.
I think you should send him an email along the lines of, "Hi so-and so, I've been thinking about things lately and I would really hate to throw our friendship away. I understand now that our relationship ended for a reason, but I would love to catch up and work on being friends again. Let me know if you're interested." To be honest, I got this from something else, used it on my ex, and he's totally agreed to it. I don't really want to be with him anymore, but we did have a pretty good relationship and our relationship did end on a sour note, so I'm open to a relationship progressing, but if not I'm ok with that too.
So just try and start out as his friends, and see if something is still there. People change over years, and he may be a completely different person than you remember. Give it a shot and see if you two can be friends and if you two want more, then see how it progresses. Good luck!
A
female
reader, linz09  +, writes (29 August 2009):
 Hi there,Just contact him as a friend,to see how he is? what he's been up to? you know he might have met somebody else so don't get your hopes up too high.I hope things work out for you, but if they don't at least you can be friends and keep things between you civil.Good luck
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A
female
reader, L*  +, writes (29 August 2009):
email him , what have you got to lose? the most important thing is that you email him a simple friendly email.don't have any high expectations. he may have moved on by now or is seeing someone else so you must be ready to accept that and deal with that. it will be hard reading your ex's reply that he has moved on with someone else but it's a risk you've got to take , if you want to.good luck, keep us informed on the outcome.
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A
male
reader, Perspicacious +, writes (29 August 2009):
If you are ready for the rejection (he might have moved on, met someone else etc) then it sounds like a good way of going about things.After all, leaving one simple message isn't going to hurt either of you and you never know what might happen.Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009): go for it. the worst that can happen is nothing.
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