A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: She was my girl friend about 4 years back and now my very good friend. I love her more than words can say but I'm thinking of how 2 open up to her. I feel like she loves me but I don't want to tel her cos I don't want to lose her as my friend. Last night she said I should tell her one word that will stop the boys that are disturbing her from coming. She said she doesn't love any guy for now. She also said she doesn't want any guy that lives in the same area with her. I stay in same area with her but I don't believe she doesn't have feelings for me. Pls somebody should help me cos I don't think I can love any girl apart from her. I love every thing about her, even her shames. This is thesame girl I talked a bout last time. Pls what do I do now? I'M SERIOUSLY CRYING RIGHT NOW AS I'M WRITING. I don't know if I'm cursed to luv her but one thing I knw is that loving her gives me joy. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, guys I don't know how to thank u for ur advices. I am the happiest guy in town. U may not know how helpful ur advices are: I havd gotten my luv back. She's the most beautiful and caring of all girls. She's the girl I need most little wonder I was crying when I was sending my question. Thanks alot may God reward u. Haaaaah! I'm just excited.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Indeed, when our world is so small, we seek the comfort of the people that shared that tiny world with us. If you have limited your worldly experiences with only one person, then truly, love as you know it only exists on that one plane of existence. However, you seek the opinion of a broader line-up of people. We would advise you to do the thing you already know what you want to do. Cause and effect.You choose one path and another closes. You pick this one and another opens up. You accepted one ideal and something results from it. You're not cursed to love her. You put yourself in this position. It is an emotional attachment that has resulted from you never allowing yourself to venture out in the world. If you corner your mind into such a tiny crevice, of course, you will feel fermented emotions stirring wildly, prickling every little need you have. You say you don't think you can ever love any other girl. My question is then: how many women have you met in your lifetime so far? One? Five? A dozen? One hundred? And of those women, did you live in misery, letting it eat away at your life, never allowing other opportunities to happen? How do you know that you will never love another girl ever? =====These sort of mentalities are the exact Catch-22's people constantly face. They want to be safe, yet they want to pursue. So what is it? Do you want it all but not work for it at the same time?ALL things, ALL choices has a risk factor. If your actions are not enough to warrant a deeper and more intimate connection between you two, then the next most obvious step is to tell her your feelings. You want her? Then tell her. If you don't want to risk it, then forever, hold yourself silently and allow misery and regret to eat at you forever and ever.Which regret are you willing to live with?A) The regret of never allowing yourself to pursue your heart with this 'love-of-your-life',ORB) The regret of risking this 'great' friendship? Put it into perspective, this 'great' friendship would not be so great if neither of you is not able to handle a few words of intimacy maturely. -=-=-A female friend of mine had confessed her love for me, after years of bottling it up. I thanked her for her emotions but told her that I did not feel the same way. At first, she felt awkward when around me, but I was completely and utterly indifferent to her confession. We remained good friends. I know she still has feelings for me, but those are the sort of problems she has to deal with on her own. I have absolutely no 'grasp' of awkwardness nor discomfort. =====Ultimately, it's how you both handle it.
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A
female
reader, linz09  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Hi I think you should open up to her and tell her how you as you will keep feeling this way. I honestly don't think you will loose her friendship if you do tell her how you feel. If she says she loves you then take it from there slowly if she says she only loves you as a friend...then at least you know where you truly stand and you can make small steps to move on and eventaully meet a girl who feels the same way for you as you do.Take care and try to stop crying about this situation, everything will work out one way or another.:)
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