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Why does a wife need to know every detail of her husband's affair?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Why does the wife need to hear every detail of the affair to be able to move on. Husband has said, yes he had an affair and it's over now, why isn't that enough for the wife. Your opinion please.

View related questions: affair, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009):

Because he's been carrying on with nothing but lies for so long. She needs to know the why, how and what for. Why did this other woman become so important she was worth risking it all. Because you took everything that was hers and that she had faith in and gave it to someone else. Nothing but the truth over and over again is going to give her what she needs to forgive and get past. She'll never forget, I won't.,

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

Men do aswell my dear! Anyways it's because you were meant to be in a committed relationship and if one of you violates it the other has a right to know who it was how long it went on for, to determine whether they can forgive you x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

what an open ended question.

a wife needs to know every detail. firstly she is human. then she has to know WHY it happened. what did the other woman provide that she didn't. and of course she needs to know when , where, why, what, how just because she is HIS WIFE. and she will ananlyse it , and if it makes her husband uncomfortable revealing the details, well, he better just suck it up and spill the sh1t he created.

seems to me from the very little you wrote, you are the other woman and is peeved that his wife wants details. so, my outright question is: Are you the other woman?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 August 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI think it is because we women ANALYZE everything to death, so we Want ( not need) all the info we can get. It is a way for us to KNOW that our spouse is not only understanding our pain, but helping us deal with it.

I think most women can not "just" move on when their hearts have been ripped out, set on fire and stomped on..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009):

Im not sure are you the wife or the other woman.

If you are the wife and your wondering why you need to know its because it matters when you fall in love with someone all the tiny little details matter, the flowers outside the restaraunt the music when you first kissed, the little gestures the sayings, the small gifts, the small personal expressions of affection, these are the things taht make you feel special. And thats why she wants to know, because its the detail that makes it real.

And hell if you are the woman who is cheating with the Husband then Im not sure I want to offer you any advice except expect it to happen to you too.

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A male reader, bouncer Ireland +, writes (24 August 2009):

Your wife is heartbroken and she needs to know all the details to help her cope. If you continue to keep all the sleazy details a secreat between you and the orther woman she will find it much harder to try and forgive you.Some people need to know all the details and others dont when they are cheated on so dont you think you owe it to your wife to tell her ?

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A female reader, linz09 United Kingdom +, writes (24 August 2009):

linz09 agony auntIts natural...she'll want to know every burp and fart im afraid....you need to know,it kinda answers all these little silly questions and helps you move on...nothing to do with ammunition, its deeper than that, you,ve hurt her and if this helps her sort her head out..tell her what she needs to know.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 August 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntLike every good reporter she needs to know who, where, when, what and WHY. That is is the only way for her to reach a closure on the whole thing, that is if she can ever reach closure. Plus she deserves to know.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009):

Probably because she'll have plenty of ammunition to beat him with every time they have an argument.

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