A
female
age
36-40,
*inup
writes:Almost a year ago I met this man. I was married, (unhappily) He was in the same boat. We both have kids as well. We got together. Not only did we become physical but we were actually bestfriends and talk everyday, had drinks and did stuff together. Then it happened, we fell deeply in love with each other about 5 months ago. Before it didnt bother me that he was still with his wife. But now it really gets to me at the thought of him even sleeping in the same bed together. He says that they are only together for the kids and he doesnt know whats going to happen in the future between them. The both of us have been fighting like crazy lately. All I asked him to do was make me his girlfriend but he refuses to put a "label" on Us. I dont know what to do now. Im miserable without him and the thought of not talking to him or being with him kills me. Were supposed to talk tonight. He told me to call him and we can talk through some things. He said the ball is in my court.Do I just continue on and see what happens or do I let go? And if I let go how do I do it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): I know exactly what you are going through. All I want to tell you,is the following: You should stay strong and never feel guilty about it. There is just no way to get over him easily. Th ONLY thing that will help is to find some one else and that is also not easy. Love hurts and we cannot do anything about it. Just NEVER let him know how terrible it is for you. Remember: When you chase a butterfly, it flies away, but if you sit still, it will come to you. So, let him think that you are over him and you will see how fast he comes back to you. I know - that is also very difficult - but it is worth the try!!!!
A
female
reader, califnan +, writes (28 August 2009):
 Have been in love with a married man via emailing.. This is what I have learned: You have come from God. He created you to be a Whole Special woman .. not the glue or fulfillment for someone who is in a marriage.. If the individual did not wish to be in the marriage - he would not be. And probably - if anything happened to the marriage - he might always be pining away for his wife, or comparing you to her .. The special woman that God has created, deserves More - and God has more for her (you).. califnan
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): Hey there,
I have to agree with the previous posters-- best to let him go, at least for now. If you're still married, please get some counselling for yourself asap. You need to find out whether you want to remain married or not, and whether the marriage you're in is worth saving (I don't know what is making you unhappy; if it's verbal or emotional abuse, you need to get out!)
It does sound like you've come to the point where you want him to leave his wife, he's stalling, and you're not sure where you stand with him.
My advice would be to avoid him for a week, then have that talk (what you want, when you discuss your future with him, is a cool head, hence the waiting) :) If you decide to leave him, tell him simply that even though you love him and want to be with him, that you're feeling very confused right now, and it would be best if you didn't see or speak to each other for awhile (I would give it three months, enough time to find out more about what YOU want). This would give him some time also to figure things out.
If, during that time, he meets someone else, you've saved yourself a lot of grief!
Good luck, take good care of yourself, and let us know what you decide.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): I am sorry, I have been in the situation, the pain of waiting for the call.
I was not married, he was, we too were best friends, soulmates.
He left his wife in the end, but not for me
sorry, hun, his going to keep doing this until you say stop enough
get out of your marriage and meet someone new
I have lovely man now, he has kids and an ex, he left his before we met, like a normal nice guy It is hard, I know 2 years on and still any mention of the ex married man floors me
I wish you all the best x
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A
female
reader, linz09  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Erm to be honest it looks like he was perfectly happy to continue the sexual relationship and for you two just to meet and have fun which relieved the monotony of your everyday lifes with this little facade, but now that your wanting more and want to be labeled his girlfriend..No it isn't going to happen and no you haven't a future..If your unhappily married address this issue. Meeting anothers womans husband and breaking up a family will neither find you happiness or a long tusting relationship.....because if he has done this do his wife, the mother of his children,I'm afraid he probably do the same to you too when the excitement wears off!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2009):
 You need to grow up!
If you want to be with someone else then your husband then you need to END your marriage before you go DEMAND "labels" and such from another guy.
No one in this day and age are together JUST for the kids. Usually there is MORE to a marriage then that, EVEN if they are not happy. Don't BS yourself. look at your own marriage and tell me WHY you are still married?
You two are frucking around with more then just each other. What about your children? Your spouses? SELFISH people!
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