A
female
age
41-50,
*ap
writes:Has my cheating ex changed?I was with my ex Sam for 10 years, we lived together for 7 and had two children together. The problems started right from the beginning when he cheated on me when i was pregnant with my first child. He told me when he was born and promised that that would be it and it was a fresh start as a family. I believed all this and things seemed ok for a while. Sam then started going out with his mates several times a week and not always coming home. He would tell me he stayed at a friends but his stories didnt add up. One night i got a call from a girl saying she knew someone he was seeing. I was gutted and asked him.. he denied everything and i believed him.. or tried to.I found messages on his phone to and from girls arranging to meet for sex.. he again stated that he hadnt done anything and for the our children i gave him the benefit of the doubt. Then i found two pairs of womens pants in his overnight bag following a 'business trip' I was heart broken and kicked him out. We have been split 18 months now and i have dated several guys who have all been 100% trustworthy but i just cant get feelings for anyone. I seem to pine for Sam constantly and dream of us getting back together and being a happy family. Despite everything we get on so well and he does seem to miss home but he has a new girlfriend. I dont know what to do.. Should i ask him home or should i give it more time and date others? Can he change?
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female
reader, zap +, writes (31 August 2009):
zap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your advice i agree with everything although i seem to not want to if you get me!! Its so hard when i still feel that heart fluttering stuff every time i am near him and want to cry every time he leaves.. I soooo need to get over him and wish i could. Will try your advice thanks soooo much xx zap xx
A
female
reader, linz09 +, writes (30 August 2009):
 Definately give yourself time and date other people, if he had cheated once maybe, but he has cheated numerous times and you gave hime a second chance the first time around, its so hard to get over someone cheating on you especially when children are involved, but seeing as you have been apart 18months, Do you really want to put yourself and your children back into the same position wondering if he's coming home tonight? and constantly looking over your shoulder...that's no way to live, its a living nightmare.I would give yourself time and realise how much your worth as a person, how strong you are and think to yourself ..Do I really need to be pulled down again by this selfish man.You need to stop this cycle of taking him back and then getting heartboken all over again...Move on, this guy will not change and he will never give you the life you deserve or crave.Stay strong and take carelinz :)
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