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female
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anonymous
writes:Over the past few weeks I have been feeling really emotional due to the fact that I feel worthless and as though I have nothing in life. I am coming up 19 years old and have nothing to show for it. I went to college for two years but now I have finished I don't know where to go or what to do. Life in general is bringing me down and my home life is also falling apart. My love life is also a wreck and so am I.Due to the many problems which I have had to face the past few months I have lost myself and my confidence, will power, motivation and pretty much the will to live. Does anybody have any tips on how I can make myself the strong confident person with hopes and dreams come back again? x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): i was in the same situation as you. And to be honest, my life was spiralling down from the age of 11 till 19.
The thought of becoming an adult and having no confidence terrified me!
So i did something about. and the last 6 months have been the best ever!
I reolized that i have to accept what i cant change and what i can, i do!
Half my problem was i thought negative thoughts all day long.
So i started to think posotive all the time and at first they were empty thought. I didnt believe it. But now i have actually become a more positive, happier person.
POSITIVITY IS THE KEY!
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male
reader, Omegahero09  +, writes (4 September 2009):
 I want to add to what he was saying, in that you DO have worth. You have to offer love, affection, attention, and your life. You aren't worthless because you still have your future. Somebody that doesn't have what you have (college experience, a job, or anything at all), you can give that to them. Your life is a gift, and you can be SOMEONE to SOMEBODY. Be that support to a friend, a passionate lover to a soulmate, or a caretaker for a pet. If I were you, I would look to the positive, happy possibilities in your life; as well as the simple things. Coffee in the morning. Donuts with sprinkles. Pizza, watching stupid movies like wedding crashers with your friends, or going to the mall and people watching. And don't forget the creative outlets for your distress! Writing is one of my outlets. Try lyric writing or painting, maybe even photography, and know that it doesn't matter how little talent, or how much talent you have, if your feelings are genuine (which they are), then so will your art. Never ever give up, I have seen people, other girls and guys, in far worse positions than yours, and they came out strong, and happy. You too can keep going, there is hope, keep fighting and seek strength, seek truth, seek love, seek a sanctuary, seek- what you want. The things that make you happy. That make you what you want to be. Your in control. Your an adult. A woman. Don't let yourself down, BE somebody. Don't let your fellow agony aunts here down ok? Be strong. -Hero
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (4 September 2009):
 You have a lot more to live for than what you see in front of you right now.
First of all you do have a future. That's very important. You have an entire life ahead of you.
Please don't feel dispirited. Many of us here have or are all going through what you feel. But you are not worthless. Your life has meaning.
There are few details of your home life, or love life here. But usually this follows a trail of heartbreak and so you feel as if you have no center in your life. But its not true. Somewhere deep down there's strength.
But you do have a purpose and it has to be defined and fulfilled. The first thing I would suggest is trying to find, in your heart of hearts, what it is that makes you happy. What goal do you have that you believe would lead you to true happiness.
It is that goal that you must focus on. Its something you keep to yourself, but you think of how its possible to achieve it.
The second thing you have to focus on is learning to love yourself. When you feel worthless, its sad because no one is worthless. You have value in this life and in this world, and you must believe that every day you get up in the morning and when you go to bed at night.
The one thing I often tell people is that you have to see what's in front of you, right there in plain view. Whatever it was that you've missed before, its there. You've missed it thus far probably because you've been distracted all of this time.
You've accomplished 2 years of college. That matters. It means that you've attained a goal.
And your future is in front of you. You have the advantages of youth and a fresh perspective. So focusing on these things helps too.
The other thing is, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You did that here by asking your question. That means there is more than plenty of hope for you.
The confidence that you seek is always going to start with you.
Your dreams are personal. And those appear to be your goals too. If those dreams are strong enough, you will make them happen eventually.
If you're a spiritual person, pray. If not, look to your friends. It may not be much, just a hug or a smile. Maybe meet new people that you can enjoy company with.
If you are seriously depressed, maybe seeking out medical help will start you on that road. Don't be afraid to ask.
But most important, never forget that your life has value. So many people have so much invested in you, including yourself. Maybe you don't see it now at this very moment, but there is a lot of hope in you. And many people have put it there.
People here feel for you, and so that should tell you that there are others out there that see more in you than you think.
Whatever you do, don't give in to these negative feelings you're experiencing now.
Some people will tell you, and I would agree with this, that a person has two facets to them. One is the ego, which is very self-centered, immature and negative, and the other side is your true self. The barrier between the two is what separates fear from serenity. If you ignore the negativity you're experiencing now and focus on improving your self, you will find the peace of mind to move forward. Your ego is good for somethings, but not this. Try and focus on the positive aspects of your dreams, your goals. That is where you can find your way.
Nothing is easy, but trying for and eventually attaining goals is the best way of making your way through life.
But what you are feeling right now, its mostly a setback, and probably ego-driven.
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A
female
reader, linz09 +, writes (4 September 2009):
 Hi thereI think everbody reaches this point in life when your turning nineteen and trying to work out what you want from life and where things are leading.Don't despair. what did you learn at college? could this possibly determine what you want to do in your life, or go onto further education.I think you have a culmination of different problems that have all come at once.. you've finished college, which kind of makes you feel you are now entering the real adult world, you say your homelife is falling apart and your love life is a wreck!!Don't worry about your love life your not even nineteen yet..you've plenty of time to worry and stress over that later, trust me.Your home life? is there a way things could be improved here, communication perhaps.And..you've just finished college which is a highly positive action.Try and look at all the positives things you've acheived and your confidence, motivation and will power will return.Everybody has down moments when everything you seem to do you takes you two step backwards, but you just have to push that little bit harder forward...Try and make a list of all the things you have acheived so far and all the things you want to acheive in the future..however small..and when you start seeing your acheivements build up..you'll feel the old strong confident you returning.You go girl.linzxx
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male
reader, M.Morgan +, writes (4 September 2009):
 I have been there and sometimes felt that there was no way out even now i can feel the dark emotion of depresion coming over me but i know what it holds in store for me and do all my best to shake it off, you are a very young girl and have your entire life ahead of you if you dont feel ready to work just yet then take up another course in what ever you feel drawn to but what ever you do keep your self active and dont dwell on life as it was, regular exercise and healthy eating also will help boost your natural endorphines which will help make you feel better in your self and give you that confidence boost you need. Think about what you want out of life and go for it. take care and i hope this will help.
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