My Bf admitted that he sometimes thinks about other girls during sex with me. How do I deal with this?
Q. Hey everyone, there is something that is bothering me and I don't know what to think about it, so I would like your opinions. Last night, my boyfriend and I had had a couple of drinks and were talking (and maybe saying more than we would have if...
A. 9 February 2014: I didn't say I fantasize about this friend, I just said I think he's attractive when I see him (which is not often).
@peaches123: thanks for understanding! I guess men and women just are entirely different species, which is why we often can't unde... (read in full...)
My Bf admitted that he sometimes thinks about other girls during sex with me. How do I deal with this?
Q. Hey everyone, there is something that is bothering me and I don't know what to think about it, so I would like your opinions. Last night, my boyfriend and I had had a couple of drinks and were talking (and maybe saying more than we would have if...
A. 8 February 2014: @WiseOwlE: Thank you for that (both other answerers as well)! It made me feel better to hear men say that it is a normal thing and I shouldn't worry.
Honestly though, I'm not a hypocrite. I'm a sexual person and I can't deny that I sometime... (read in full...)
Should I put sex on hold?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have an amazing relationship and I love him with all my heart but the issue lies with our sex life. The thing is, Are love is so strong, but at the same time so is the sexual chemistry. I am A Christian so for me, I feel as th...
A. 7 February 2014: I'm not a Christian, so you don't have to take my opinion into account, but here's what I think: if you love him, it feels right, you want to and you're not hurting anyone doing it, why feel guilty? I'm in a loving sexual relationship with my ... (read in full...)
I'm so insecure, I'm scared I will push the man of my dreams away!
Q. hey there, id really appreciate some advice :0) the thing is, im the first to admit i have the most perfect boyfriend i could wish for .hes gorgeous, funny, clever, kind.However i am extremely insecure. i think it may be a result of my dad having ...
A. 6 November 2013: Just realised this question was from six years ago... On the off chance that you're getting emails when there's a reply: how did you cope? What happened to your relationship?... (read in full...)
I'm so insecure, I'm scared I will push the man of my dreams away!
Q. hey there, id really appreciate some advice :0) the thing is, im the first to admit i have the most perfect boyfriend i could wish for .hes gorgeous, funny, clever, kind.However i am extremely insecure. i think it may be a result of my dad having ...
A. 6 November 2013: I have pretty much the same thing, been with my boyfriend for five months and I'm terribly insecure. I get moody too when he talks about other girls, and I know I can be a nightmare sometimes.
I don't really know how to overcome this so I can't re... (read in full...)
What does it mean when you call your past partners"friends" instead of "exes"?
Q. Would you refer to someone you dated years ago as a "friend" or an "ex girlfriend". My boyfriend always calls girls he went to school with "friends" even though I'm pretty sure they are girls that he dated. I'm not sure why he does that. He's very ...
A. 16 April 2013: I think I'd only call an ex-boyfriend 'ex-boyrfriend' if the break-up was where the relationship ended and there was no contact afterwards. If I'd stay in touch with a guy and actually be platonic friends with him, I'd call him a friend. It would be ... (read in full...)
I learned my lesson, take your own car ladies! Don't depend on a guy to take you home from a party!
Q. So I went to a party with my boyfriend.... He was eyeballing a girl right in front of me. So I got upset. But I didn't say anything and held it in. I got over it by going into the bathroom and telling myself that I'm pretty too. People started ge...
A. 16 April 2013: I don't think you were being unreasonable or overly sensitive, you'd told him in advance that you couldn't stay long and he totally left you in the lurch. Your boyfriend sounds like a selfish, insensitive douchebag. I also don't think you're just ... (read in full...)
Gave my GF herpes, She now wants nothing to do with me!
Q. okay last October, i met a female photographer (39y.o) at a venue while i was out by myself supporting a friends band. I was married at the time and was at the venue to see my friends band and also take photo's of the band as i had begun a new ...
A. 16 April 2013: You're insanely selfish to have sex with a woman without telling her you have an INCURABLE transmittable disease. Of course she wants nothing to do with you, she trusted you and you made her sick when she was already dealing with health issues. ... (read in full...)
Is it a mistake to become friends with a girl you like instead of making a move on her?
Q. Just a quick question. If you like this girl and you suspect she likes you back, you don't make a move for romance and instead become friends. Can that take away any feelings she might have had for me and does it ruin any chance I'd ever have to get ...
A. 3 April 2013: It's not that you automatically ruined your chances, but she might think you don't like her like that and move on to someone else. Or she might start to like you more while getting to know you better, I've fallen in love with a friend before but ... (read in full...)
My FWB says that he's not cheating on his girlfriend with me because apparently I'm not a service , I'm just a girl who he likes in lust
Q. I am 19 years of age and now is in an affair with a man who is 29 who has a girlfriend he has been dating for 8 years. He says shes his best friend, with her he has a so called life , clean clothes to wear. But he is unsure if he wants/or is going ...
A. 29 March 2013: He wants to pay you for sex??? I would be incredibly insulted, but I think you have to learn from this suggestion that he will never leave his girlfriend, even if you 'tried' to make him fall for you. He won't. He's made it clear that this is just ... (read in full...)
An unexpected gift from my ex: keep it or return it?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma. I went through a messy break up with my ex. However I received a gift from her in the post. It's something I've wanted for a long time and she knows this. Should I return it or keep it? If I return it I'm kind ...
A. 28 March 2013: This is not a lot of information to go on, but it sounds like a) she wants to get back together with you, b) she wants to be friends with you, c) she wants to apologise, d) she saw it and knew you'd be thrilled to have it and just wanted to d... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of getting back with an ex but he will not tell his FWB that its over
Q. I had been dating a guy from work for about 5 months when I broke up with him. I broke up with him because he wasn't treating me the way I deserved to be treated - lying to me, not making me a priority, not being there for me when I needed him, etc. ...
A. 14 March 2013: You obviously can't trust this guy, with all the lying and treating you badly in the past. I understand that you like him and want him back, but it seems that he's really not treating you like you deserve to be treated.
Another really big red flag... (read in full...)
I cheated with a friend and became pregnant. Do I stay with him or go back to my husband?
Q. I have recently separated from my marriage of 8 years due to the fact I slept with a friend and got pregnant as a result. my husband can not have children naturally so my friend is the father after a massive row and my husband kicking me out I ha...
A. 14 March 2013: If you're still in love with your husband you are very lucky that he'll take you back. Please go back to him and try and make your marriage work, since that is obviously what you both want. Neither you nor your friend will be happy in a relationship ... (read in full...)
My life long friend has become a burden to me. What should I do?
Q. Friendship problem. I m friends with my girlfriend for many many years in fact we went to grade school together, and since then were inseparable. Our lives turned out to be very different. We are both 37. We both equally pretty, we both graduate...
A. 4 March 2013: I get that it must be hard for you to put up with her when you're the only one she has (and clings to), and she doesn't have a life of her own when you do.
But if she's really your friend, don't give up on her yet. Try to talk to her about her life... (read in full...)
After 5 months he says he's not ready to be a boyfriend and would wind up cheating on me!
Q. sorry this is pretty long but i appreciate you reading. i need your help. i've been seeing this guy for a little over 5 months now but we're not official. when we first met, he had just broken up with his long-term girlfriend and it was still ver...
A. 4 March 2013: @Cerberus, even though I agree with your take on this guy's intentions, I think you're being mean for no reason and she's not a narcissist. She came on here looking for advice. I know how terrible it is to realise you want someone more than they w... (read in full...)
Why might blowjobs be considered degrading? Help me understand...
Q. Hi All, Blow Jobs being degrading is NOT a view I hold. But I hear it mentioned often enough on this site to know that it's a view that many women do have. Usually it mentioned by "male askers" complaining that their partners won't give them h...
A. 23 February 2013: I found this post because I was a little concerned about blow jobs being degrading. Recently, the guy I'm dating asked me to give him a blow job during sex. He was really sweet and said I shouldn't do it if I didn't want to, but I wanted to pleasure ... (read in full...)
Maybe I should just give up and accept I am single!
Q. I split up with my partner of 4 years over 7 years ago. I was 39 then and I shall be 46 soon. It was an unhealthy relationship. I had a brief relationship (6 months) about 7 months later, but nothing since then. I have been doing interne...
A. 6 January 2013: I guess there's just one answer: do you really want to?
Because if you don't it may take time, but eventually you will find someone who is right for you. Maybe go on a singles trip or something? You'd have people to go on holiday with, and mayb... (read in full...)
As it's her home area shall I ask her first where she'd like to go on our first date?
Q. So I think I might be into this girl. After we get back to college from Christmas break, I'm gonna see if she wants to go out. Where we go to school is her hometown, so she has her car, and she already has her favorite places, and knows everywhere...
A. 28 December 2012: Maybe I'm not traditional enough, but I'm Dutch and in our culture most girls don't just assume that the guy will pay for everything, because that's rude. We are strong women and we make money too.
I think you would be smart to just ask her, 'I ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my girlfriend in 2 weeks! Have I been silently dumped?
Q. i haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week we're in college together and while we were in classes our r/s was fine. we would see each other and go on dates a couple times a week and would do our homework together. she was always loving an...
A. 28 December 2012: I'm sorry to say it but I think you're right to worry. Either something has happened that makes her physically incapable of contacting you (but don't just assume this because it's hardly ever the case), or something has happened that made her not ... (read in full...)
Six months of dating, but he never says, 'i love you'. How can I be sure of his love?
Q. Im 32 years old and my bf is 21..weve been dating for 6 months now. I love him and i always show and tell that to him. but im not sure if he loves me, he doesnt say the words 'I love you'..but i can feel that he cares for me..not just by text. he...
A. 28 December 2012: Actions speak louder than words... He acts like he loves you and even said that just because he doesn't say it, doesn't mean that he doesn't feel it.
I dislike the words 'I love you'. It always feels like such a fake thing to say, because it's som... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he found another girl that gives him happiness. Can I get him back?
Q. Have been dating my bf for 3yrs. Recently he started complaining about my attitude, saying am too insecure, demanding, and that he has found another girl that gives him happiness and there is nothing I can do. Truthfully, have been kind of rud...
A. 28 December 2012: Please, please don't put up with this! I have to repeat that you deserve better than some guy cheating on you just for the fun of it, and who obviously doesn't care that he's hurting you. If you stay with him now, he's only going to do it again and ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I'm freaking out at the thought of forever with him
Q. Hello, I'm 23 and I've been dating my 26yr old BF for 5 years now, and while everything isn't great, it is good and we both love each other. However, there has always been a few things that he does that annoy and upset me. He has a great social ...
A. 27 December 2012: I think it may be one of these two things:
1. "I feel like he is the one I want to be with forever but I also just feel like I need time to be alone and miserable to reassure myself."
After five years together, the relationship is very serious... (read in full...)
I exchange a few messages with girls on websites and suddenly they delete their profiles. Why?
Q. Hi, I am 23-year-old single guy who has been struggling to find a great girl for myself. I joined a dating site that is strictly for college students and alumni. This past week, I found two girls and started chatting with them. After we traded ...
A. 27 December 2012: I think these girls are just not that serious about meeting someone through the internet. Before I started dating in real life, I used to sometimes get an account on a dating site just for fun, to chat with these guys and get a little attention ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to send a message, instead of seeing him or calling?
Q. I feel terrible... I've known this guy for about four months, two of which we've been dating. He was really sweet to me, I'm still a virgin (and almost 21 y/o) and he was so nice and patient. We did some stuf, but he would never push me and made ...
A. 27 December 2012: What do you mean? I should have met up with him to tell him it was over, or I should meet him some time soon to prove that we can still be friends? Because I am going to see him next week for a last school thing, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable ... (read in full...)
I keep letting possible partners slip away even though I want a relationship. Should I persevere with this guy I've met online?
Q. Relationship/ gay advice please? I don't know what to do. I've let so many guys slip away on the advice that 'they're not the right one' etc. but I tired of this happening and it makes me sad. I'm in my final uni year, still single and I don...
A. 27 December 2012: I don't know who's been advising you to stop seeing these guys (could they have been jealous or was there seriously something wrong with the guys you were with?) but you should start listening to your own intuition. It sounds like you know already ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he found another girl that gives him happiness. Can I get him back?
Q. Have been dating my bf for 3yrs. Recently he started complaining about my attitude, saying am too insecure, demanding, and that he has found another girl that gives him happiness and there is nothing I can do. Truthfully, have been kind of rud...
A. 27 December 2012: I don't really understand, you're still together with this guy after he told you he's in a relationship with someone else as well? It makes sense to me that you have been rude to him, since he's treating you like crap. I'm sure you don't want to ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to send a message, instead of seeing him or calling?
Q. I feel terrible... I've known this guy for about four months, two of which we've been dating. He was really sweet to me, I'm still a virgin (and almost 21 y/o) and he was so nice and patient. We did some stuf, but he would never push me and made ...
A. 27 December 2012: Thanks so much so_very_confused,, you made me feel loads better! I'm pretty sure he actually did go to his parents because he has a job there and he games a lot, and he doesn't have an xbox in the city where we live (another reason we didn't make a ... (read in full...)
Should I take a chance with the new guy? But why do I stop liking a guy once he shows interest? It seems I always like guys who I can't have :(
Q. I'm sorry for the long question but I have to explain the whole situation, so please just bear with me! So, I think I have a problem but I'm not sure what it is... I'm twenty years old, I've never been in a relationship and I've only ever kissed...
A. 26 December 2012: So, I went out a couple times with the guy from my class, and today I told him it wasn't working. Turns out it was a gut instict saying this guy wasn't for me, and I've known it all along. It was fun though, to start dating, and it did wonders for ... (read in full...)
Why did my FWB lose his erection?
Q. my new fwb eventually lost his erection yesterday when I gave him oral and then when we had sex the first time. he was fine when he was dominate but as soon as I got on top or gave him oral for a while, he loses it. I asked him why this happened and ...
A. 8 February 2012: Maybe he doesn't like a girl taking control and feels emasculated when you do? That would explain why he couldn't keep it up.. If he hasn't had that before with a girl taking control, then I don't know.... (read in full...)
Why is his friend trying to muscle in???
Q. I've been dating this guy, and one of his friends, who i have never met in person, has contacted me a few times. The guy i am dating wasn't aware that his friend did this until i told him. The first time his friend contacted me, he told me that the ...
A. 8 February 2012: It is certainly very strange that he is contacting you.. Since he is a good friend of the guy you're dating, you obviously can't be rude to him. If this relationship works out, that would be a problem. I really wouldn't know what to do with ... (read in full...)
Sexual woes bode ill for my romantic life?
Q. I've got a question which might seem a little silly but nevertheless, it pertains to a matter of some importance for me. To give you the rundown, I'm someone who watches porn on a daily basis and I fear this might have had insidious consequences ...
A. 8 February 2012: I'm not sure you should keep 'practicing with prostitutes'. The fact that having sex with strangers doesn't satisfy you anymore, EMOTIONALLY as well as physically, is kind of the point, I think. You said it yourself. I really don't think the ... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 8 February 2012: Eww no! More women maybe, but still not many. Every girl I know shaves her legs and armpits, and I'm pretty sure also their pubic hair (although we've never discussed it haha).... (read in full...)
How can I get him to understand why I messed up and get us back to how we were?
Q. This sounds really pathetic considering I am so young, but hey, relationships are a big deal at my age. So here are my questions: 1. I have always had a soft spot for two of my closest guy mates and now I know one of them has developed even m...
A. 8 February 2012: Okay, first of all, love is never pathetic. Relationships are tough, especially since you are so young, so it's okay that you're asking for advice. First, you have to decide which of all these guys you like best. When you know this, all of the... (read in full...)
Was this guy touching me in a non-sexual way? Is that even possible?
Q. This is kind of a long story, it's partly about what happened yesterday and partly about my entire life... Please bear with me! I'm an almost 20 year old girl, I'm a virgin and I've never had a boyfriend, and lately I've been getting frustrat...
A. 13 January 2012: Thanks for answering! You were right, and you made me feel better :). Thing is, yesterday I found out that he actually had sex with my friend sometime that week, and it had happened before, so... I'm just going to forget about it. I'm really not ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with her, but she wants nothing to do with me
Q. there this girl I loved when I was young and I feel like I still do, you see this girl was the girl who got my attention in a way I couldn't imagine and the way I felt about her before was beyond amazing and when ever I saw her, I always told myself ...
A. 2 January 2012: Honestly, I've gone through this situation from the other side.
In high school, there was a guy who liked me so much, that he would always follow me around, stare at me, send me flowers on valentine's day, ask me to go to prom with him, etc. Thi... (read in full...)
I want him to feel like it's his loss...
Q. Hi guys, please don't tell me not to bother or there is no point doing this. Because I really want to, so just any advice on how to do this will be helpful! I met this guy about a week ago, he is so very confident in himself and sure that he can...
A. 2 January 2012: Like fi the tree said, if you act aloof he may either want you more, or be hurt in his pride and move on. There's really no way to get this guy to like you more than any other girl, other than just to be more interesting than any other girl. If you ... (read in full...)
I'm a boy and I like the guy that helps me in History. How do I tell him?
Q. I'm an 18 years old boy and I'm bi. I've got a guy that helps me in History and he's 28 and, to be honest, I really like him as a man. I'm 99.9% sure he's gay, based on the way he acts, speaks etc and sometimes, when he's into his teaching very much ...
A. 2 January 2012: I really don't have any experience with this kind of thing, since I'm always too shy to let someone know how I feel, but maybe you could try to let him know subtly? Like, not saying the words but maybe touching his leg more often, smiling more ... (read in full...)
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