A
male
age
30-35,
*nickx
writes:So I think I might be into this girl. After we get back to college from Christmas break, I'm gonna see if she wants to go out.Where we go to school is her hometown, so she has her car, and she already has her favorite places, and knows everywhere local. It's 100 miles from my home, and I won't have a car. Also, my friends and I mostly just find our own entertainment on campus, so I really don't know much about the area.Should I ask her opinion on where she wants to go? I've always felt that especially on a first date, I should have an exact idea of what's going on and completely come up with the plan before asking her. I have good ideas of where she'd like to go, but at the same time, I don't want to be too confident in my plans that I miss going to a place that she really likes, and then in turn miss out on finding out more about the area that I'm going to be spending the next 4 years in.And I know it's probably not weird, but I love to drive. Does anyone think it would be weird for me to ask her out and then expect her to drive us? And naturally, I'd be paying for everything else, but should I offer gas money?Thanks
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2012):
 I think you can say:
"hey I really wanna spend some time with you and since you know the area i was wondering if you had any favorite places you would like to show me?"
and of course you offer to pay for the date but for transportation you can say "I know it's unusual but I don't have a car you know, and while we could take the bus/train/cab I think it would be easier if we could use your car if you don't mind... and you could drive since you know the area better than I do"
don't offer gas money if you are paying for the date...
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 December 2012):
 By all means ask her where she would like to go on your first date.
I wouldn't offer to pay something toward gasoline - it's her car, and hometown where she attends college with you.
I'd recommend letting her drive to wherever you'll be going. One more thing: yes, on the first date, since YOU will be inviting HER to go out with you, you should be prepared to pay for the evening's entertainment.
If you both enjoy the date, and plan to go out again, then it would be reasonable of her to offer to pay her share of a meal out, or a movie or concert, etc.......
Hope it goes well. Enjoy!
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A
female
reader, elise22  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 Maybe I'm not traditional enough, but I'm Dutch and in our culture most girls don't just assume that the guy will pay for everything, because that's rude. We are strong women and we make money too.
I think you would be smart to just ask her, 'I don't really know this area and since it's your hometown, do you know anything that might be fun? And by the way, I don't have a car here so we could either use public transportation, or we could take your car if you like'.
I think it's very chivalrous of you to pay for everything and she should be grateful, so please don't offer to pay for gas because I think that would be awkward, like you're too hung up on the rules instead of doing what comes naturally. I'm sure she's a nice girl and she won't mention it.
Then again, apart from movies I'm not familiar with American dating culture, so maybe you should wait for an American girl to respond.
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