A
female
age
30-35,
*lise22
writes:I feel terrible... I've known this guy for about four months, two of which we've been dating. He was really sweet to me, I'm still a virgin (and almost 21 y/o) and he was so nice and patient. We did some stuf, but he would never push me and made sure I was comfortable.Honestly though, I think I knew from the start that he wasn't for me. I told him at the beginning that I wasn't looking for a relationship, and he said that was fine, we could take it slow and if I ever did want that we could give it a try.So we've gotten together five times in seven weeks, he didn't want to meet up too often because he said it's important to stick to your own life, and he always visited his parents at the weekends. Also, he said that we would get tired of it if we saw too much of each other, after I had suggested seeing him more than once a week. So I said, sort of playfully, 'are you sick of me already?' and he said, 'no, you'll get sick of me', which I didn't really understand. I was a little annoyed because whenever I saw him he would make me feel so good that I wanted to see more of him, but after a week apart I wouldn't care so much. But I didn't want to seem clingy so I waited and after five days he finally texted me again. It looked to me like he was only thinking of me when he was bored and alone. He did always bring me gifts though, sweets and even a book (which I loved), and he would always blow me kisses when we parted and send me sappy texts. It was a little too much for me to be honest.Today I sent him a facebook message (I didn't have his email address and we have never talked on the phone, only ever texts or fb-messages) to tell him I didn't think we should see each other anymore. The reason I kept dating him was because I was curious about sex and he made me feel safe, but in the end I just didn't want to be with him anymore. But now I feel terrible, because it felt respectless to do it like this, even though we've only gone out five times and it wasn't a relationship.From what I've told you of his actions, do you think he's really hurt? And was it wrong of me to send him a message instead of meeting up (that would take a half hour bus drive and at least another week) or calling?
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female
reader, elise22 +, writes (27 December 2012):
elise22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question What do you mean? I should have met up with him to tell him it was over, or I should meet him some time soon to prove that we can still be friends? Because I am going to see him next week for a last school thing, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable seeing him alone...
A
male
reader, Askmeforananswer  +, writes (27 December 2012):
 Ofcoz! You'd only to meet him then that'd be nicest
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A
female
reader, elise22 +, writes (27 December 2012):
elise22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much so_very_confused,, you made me feel loads better! I'm pretty sure he actually did go to his parents because he has a job there and he games a lot, and he doesn't have an xbox in the city where we live (another reason we didn't make a good fit, because I like to go out and meet up with friends, and he likes to stay in). Unless of course he made everything up, but I don't think so. I don't rule it out though that there were other women there.Anyway, he sent me a message back saying he was surprised but I could keep the book (I'd asked if he wanted it back) and if we could still be friends (which I hadn't suggested because it seemed condescending). I thought that was pretty decent and he didn't seem heartbroken, so that combined with your reassurance makes me feel better :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 December 2012):
 Nope I think you did fine. It was never a real relationship.
he visits his parents every weekend? I doubt it. I'm betting there are other women out there he sees on weekends.
you never talked on the phone you only texted and facebooked.
that's your method of communication with this guy. Personally I think you did the right thing. now if he gets rude about it, block his phone number and block him on facebook and move on.
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