My depressed Bf is shutting everyone out, including me. What are the best ways to support him?
Q. My boyfriend has been having issues choosing his major for months. It's taken its toll on him and he did go to the psychiatrist four days ago and was diagnosed depression- he was subsequently put on xanax for anxiety and prozac last Wednesda...
A. 10 March 2013: @Cerberus: thanks for highlighting your reply in my other question, as I had not seen it. Honestly, I think right now he's not distancing himself from people because he thinks this will be better for them, in case they're too hurt by his cond... (read in full...)
My depressed Bf is shutting everyone out, including me. What are the best ways to support him?
Q. My boyfriend has been having issues choosing his major for months. It's taken its toll on him and he did go to the psychiatrist four days ago and was diagnosed depression- he was subsequently put on xanax for anxiety and prozac last Wednesda...
A. 10 March 2013: Truly thank you for the time you took to answer me. I know meds take a while...I've been researching that and prozac in particular. Some people say a month, others {fewer} a week, most seem between two weeks and a month, others even more. I wis... (read in full...)
I'm worried about what will happen to our relationship if my b/f is prescribed anti depressants?
Q. I posted something a few days ago, asking how to help my boyfriend who's been going back and forth with the choice of majors at his Uni. I said I was worried about his attitude toward it rather than the choice itself and today I had a confirmation ...
A. 9 March 2013: Sorry I respond just now. The past few days have been really hard and today it's been even more so. He did go to the psychiatrist and was diagnosed depression- he was subsequently put on xanax for anxiety and prozac last Wednesday. He ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't decide which university to go to and its taking a toll on him and everyone close to him!
Q. I don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly six months and for the entire time he's struggled choosing a faculty for his university. He's torn between two- studying Philosophy and Psychology. We've talked about this a lot of ...
A. 2 March 2013: Thank you all for your input. I fear the choice here is getting out of hand though, because yesterday he was very lethargic and apathetic {probably also due to his completely sleepless night} and cancelled our date for today stating he was too ... (read in full...)
How to get over him - should I get over him? I don't know where to begin...
Q. Agony Aunts, please help me understand this situation. I'm completely devastated, drained and not sure what to do, think, say... :( This is long, but I just don't know how to condense it. I promise it will be worth reading... I met a guy (22 - ...
A. 6 September 2012: Quite honestly, yes, you need to get over him. You know what they say- fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? You gave him not one, but two chances already and he screwed both of those up. Best case scenario -in your current min... (read in full...)
I think I lost my friend since I told him that I only see him as a friend
Q. Hello everyone again. I met this guy at Uni- we were waiting for a teacher to show up, spoke for a few minutes and he asked me if he could add me on FB. He did and contacted me quite often- I found him easy to talk to and quite unusual {not in ...
A. 4 September 2012: Of course, Cerberus, I've read enough of your replies to grasp that you are a confident person who can stand rejection- so am I, I'd prefer to be told from the start if someone is not interested too. Point is, my friend is very different from you or ... (read in full...)
I think I lost my friend since I told him that I only see him as a friend
Q. Hello everyone again. I met this guy at Uni- we were waiting for a teacher to show up, spoke for a few minutes and he asked me if he could add me on FB. He did and contacted me quite often- I found him easy to talk to and quite unusual {not in ...
A. 3 September 2012: Hi Cerberus, thanks for your always articulated and thought provoking replies.
I know now we were probably never really friends- because you can't be friends with someone you are attracted to, you just lay low and hope someday they'll reciproc... (read in full...)
I think I lost my friend since I told him that I only see him as a friend
Q. Hello everyone again. I met this guy at Uni- we were waiting for a teacher to show up, spoke for a few minutes and he asked me if he could add me on FB. He did and contacted me quite often- I found him easy to talk to and quite unusual {not in ...
A. 2 September 2012: @Aidan: Thank you, I think you are right. I guess it is up to him now...Would it be awful of me to send him a text if I don't hear him in the next week or so, letting him know I'm there for him if he wishes to talk and leave it at that? I just don't ... (read in full...)
Is there a time frame for recovering from a broken marriage?
Q. Hey - I'm moving on from a long failed marriage and while I am not interested in any affairs and relationships at the moment I do realise that in time I'll feel the void. Is there an average time it takes to get over things and feel alive again and ...
A. 28 August 2012: There are so many factors playing a role here...how long the marriage lasted, how long were you two together before getting married, do you have any children, how and why did it end, did you file or did he, had it been over long before you actually ... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 20 August 2012: My take is that it depends on the kind and level of friendship as well as when this friendship developed. I do believe men and women can be close friends {ie, talking to each other really often, hanging out etc.} without there being any sexual... (read in full...)
Am I superficial for caring so much about a guy's appearance?
Q. Hi please don't take me as a negative superficial person,and don't judge,just help me through this.. I have been into fashion,beauty all that since as long as I can remember..so when I see a man not dressed up well for me its a HUGE turn off!!I l...
A. 18 August 2012: Let's put some things straight here, okay? There are things that for you are deal breakers in terms of relationships that other people may not consider the same way- say you're only attracted to blonde, brown eyed guys. Does that make you a bad ... (read in full...)
I caught my wife in the bathtub with my brother! What do I do now?
Q. Dear friends, I am hoping to find a way on how to handle a situation. Me and wife (23) are married for 3 years now and for the last 2 years my youngest brother stays with us for study. He and my wife are close in their age. He is just 19 months l...
A. 18 August 2012: So, if I understood this correctly, you knew your brother had been touching your wife inappropriately because she complained about it with you and told you to do something to make him stop and your reply was not to be conservative and let him touch ... (read in full...)
We agreed to meet one last time at the airport, but she stood me up
Q. So this question is probably not gonna have an accurate answer but I would like to have some possibilities. So me and this girl been talking for a little over a month and we went out for 2 weeks because she was going to leave for a trip to Europe...
A. 18 August 2012: I did have a supposed friend/love interest/thing do that to me once- standing me up. When I brought it up, I got nothing but BS from him about it {ridiculous stuff, like how he had not agreed to come to that place/time in the first place, when I had ... (read in full...)
Should I text or call her today/
Q. For a while now, I've been going to a local coffee shop where this really cute girl works. I finally built up the balls to ask her for her number, and we exchanged numbers. We were texting for a while yesterday, and next Wednesday (5 says from now) ...
A. 18 August 2012: You want to talk to her more, right? Then just go for it! As a woman, I love for a guy to SHOW his interest in me, how my day goes and all that good jazz. Sure, don't proceed to spend seven hours on the phone with her every day up until your date ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 18 August 2012: OP, you're welcome, as I am always up for sharing an opinion when asked for it and am able to provide one. Of course it is what I think and want, since that was what your original post was about, wasn't it? " Does it make a difference to date first ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 16 August 2012: I am a young single woman, thus the demographic I suppose interests you.
I see courtship in a very different way than you do- it is a sometimes annoying, sure, but otherwise fascinating moment of the 'finding a mate' process. Not only you get ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy? Or is this evidence strong enough that my girlfriend is indeed developing feelings for JOE?
Q. An overwhelming instinct that my girlfriend of over two years is developing feelings for a coworker has led me to snoop, and the snooping has led me to believe my suspicions are true. Help. What do I do? She's been at this new office for thre...
A. 12 August 2012: Her behaviour reminds me a a bit of mine when I start dating a guy that I think may be relationship material- the difference is that I am single and she is not. She's been behaving increasingly more like a single-ish woman- going out with coworkers ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I am still single? I always worry what people think of me.
Q. I have been single now for 7 years. I am 25 years old.I am beginning to think there is something wrong with me. It's either I meet guys who aren't interested in me or guys that I am not interested in but they are. I have been on many dates but the ...
A. 22 July 2012: I know how you feel as we are somewhat in the same boat- granted, I'm a few years younger than you are, but I have not had a relationship in four years and have been dating during the past year, but, as you said, those I'm interested in are not ... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 13 July 2012: Ah ah, I know, right? I'd like to believe both of us would choose to handle this a little more maturely than we have a few days ago, looking back- but at times you just act on impulse, it can't be helped. {As a matter of fact, I did meet another guy ... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 11 July 2012: Update: I bumped into him yesterday. I was standing in a hallway, talking to a guy, and he walked right toward me to reach the stairs. Sadly, I have to say he did make me quite nervous and anxious- I guess it's because I had not expected to see him. ... (read in full...)
Is he attracted to me or am I looking too hard?
Q. Dear agony aunts/uncles, I am into guys but only one person knows (I'm in my final year high school and living with my parents). He is one of my best friends and I have a crush on him, lets call him Bob. I have never told him that I like him beyon...
A. 11 July 2012: Tough question. First off, has he ever had a girlfriend or given clear signals about his sexuality? Of course, even so, he could still be bisexual, but it'd give you a starting point.
About the spooning thing...it depends on how affectio... (read in full...)
I said no to going further. But am I still a virgin, based on what happened?
Q. Okay so there's this military guy i met with. I just wanted someone to date.. we went out to dinner. i dropped him off to on base i get out the car we made out he was groping me and hugging me tight. Then we meet up again the next day ( i am a vir...
A. 6 July 2012: Of course you're still a virgin- which, by the way, is not something you should just hide and lie about. If you don't want to have sex with a guy, telling him bullshit will only last for so long- eventually the truth will surface. That is, if you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't love me
Q. I have been in a very up and down relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years now. It was so amazing for the first 10 months until we split, since then we have been very on and off until the start of this year when we have been getting back on ...
A. 2 July 2012: Honey, how much time do you intend to waste on this guy? The more time you spend attempting to fix something that is out of your reach, the harder it will be for you to detach yourself. Think about it, had you cut it off four years ago, how much ... (read in full...)
Is a guy always serious with a girl he calls his girlfriend?
Q. If a guy has a girlfriend, is it possible he could be with her casually and not seriously and maybe for sex and companionship but not true love? Is it possible she is NOT the one or that he will be with her long term? If he is so happy with her, ...
A. 26 June 2012: If words such as 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend' were only used when the other person is serious about you, people's lives would be much easier. I'd love for things to be THIS clear cut, but unfortunately they're not- men and women commit- even just ... (read in full...)
I believe she still wants me, how do I find out her true feelings?
Q. How do I have her to open up? My girlfriend broke up with me because she said she wasn't happy with herself, and wanted to find herself. I freaked out, but eventually it happened. She doesn't want to talk to me, and if we do it's awkward. She has...
A. 21 June 2012: You don't say how long it's been since the breakup- but it's fairly clear from the post that it's not been enough time. Time may not heal wounds, but it does make them better- so give her time. Maybe contact her one last time and tell her this- that ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to salvage this relationship after the text I sent? Is it even worth it?
Q. I met this guy in an online date app. He is frickin gorgeous! We talked for a few days and decided to meet up for lunch. The first few dates went fairly well, and we even kissed a time or two on the second. He seemed very interested. So, all t...
A. 21 June 2012: Honestly, take it from someone who's been there, if a guy, as you say, doesn't give you a straight answer when you ask him out, the answer is 'no'. Think what you'd do if you were asked out by someone you like:
A} Ideally, you'd be happy and defi... (read in full...)
I want to take matters into my own hands but don't want to scare him off!
Q. Hello everyone! I'm here for advice about a guy I went on a date with last Saturday. I've seen him at my Uni a few times, we talked a little, then last week I asked him whether our teacher wanted him to go to a meeting I was obliged to go to...
A. 16 June 2012: I like your 'no bs' approach to this- and I definitely see why you wouldn't have time for petty games either way.
I'd say that if a man gets scared off so easily, he wouldn't have been the one for me anyway, as I'm not a damsel in distress... (read in full...)
What do European guys think about pubic hair?
Q. Hello, I am 23 years old and I don't like having hair down there so I usually remove all of it via a hair removal cream if I am going to be with a guy. However, I am seeing a guy from Spain and I heard that they don't mind pubic hair, in face some ...
A. 14 June 2012: We -speaking broadly and generalizing grossly, of course- are definitely less 'hair removal' obsessed than Americans seem to be. Men here are sometimes made fun of for removing hair from their legs {I've witnessed this myself}, as hair is definitely ... (read in full...)
I want to take matters into my own hands but don't want to scare him off!
Q. Hello everyone! I'm here for advice about a guy I went on a date with last Saturday. I've seen him at my Uni a few times, we talked a little, then last week I asked him whether our teacher wanted him to go to a meeting I was obliged to go to...
A. 14 June 2012: Hello and thank you for the answer. I agree that I should not put too much thought into him- that's what I'm trying to do, at least- and that I should continue to do the things I always do and have fun on my own too, without waiting for him.... (read in full...)
He's interested, I'm not in the least, how do I let him down easy?
Q. So i have this guy who's interested in me. the problem is I dont want him in the least bit.... and i have no idea how to let him down easy. I dont want to be insensitive about it because I am trying to get over a "thing" with a guy who i really ...
A. 13 June 2012: You can't let him down and not hurt his feelings, sorry, but it just won't happen. I'd much rather you were honest to him and told him that you really can't see him that way, rather than giving him any kind of false hope though. It will be more of a ... (read in full...)
Are these symptoms of falling out of love?
Q. Hey, does this sound like I'm falling out of love? I've been with my bf 21 months, see each other 3-4 times a week, and for the last few months, I've had this nagging feeling that things aren't right. When he calls me, he just talks at me about ...
A. 13 June 2012: I think it definitely could be that the honeymoon period is slowly reaching its end- thus, you feel as though just being with him, doing whatever, is not enough anymore and you try and find excitement in activities you could do with him. There's ... (read in full...)
I've liked him for almost 7 years and I really don't know how he feels about me even now
Q. I've liked this guy for so long! I cannot stress how long I've liked him for, it's been roughly about 7 years. We started out as frenemies and since last year we've became really close friends. My friend decided enough was enough and she told him I ...
A. 3 June 2012: When I was in HS, I liked a guy for three years, and, whilst I did talk to him in class at every chance I could, I never really made a move, nor told him how I felt about him. People would tease us, saying we were 'together', a mutual friend told me ... (read in full...)
Guys: Is a bossy girl a massive turn off?
Q. Hey, i was talking to my friends the other day about guys we've hooked up with and now im a bit worried. When im with a guy i tend to sort of tell them what I want them to do...like if they're not turning me on, i'll say 'do this is me...'. But my ...
A. 1 June 2012: I do the same thing you do- I tell the guy what I like and what I don't as he's performing it. I prefer for him to kiss me on the higher part of the neck rather than the lower- why shouldn't I tell him that? When I'm the one in charge, I try and ... (read in full...)
How do you create a long lasting relationship with a woman? Do you have to be a 'bad boy'? Or are there some women out there who like the good guys?
Q. How do you make a woman fall in love with you? Yes i know iv heard it all before ''you cant' - ' you cant help who u fall in love with '' etc, but generally speaking, i have found that women who are hurt/abused not necessarily physically, but more ...
A. 30 May 2012: Good Lord, no. Some -keyword here being some- girls are attracted to the thrill or the supposed charm of 'bad boys', but I can assure you no healthy woman wants a long term relationship with someone who hurts her on a daily basis. When you have to ... (read in full...)
I'm uneasy dating a man who has kids. I wouldn't be his 1st priority
Q. I have been dating a divorced 40 year old man for 6 weeks. He wants me to commit to him and he is desperately trying to sell the house that he shared with his ex so that he can move on. He has two children. I have never dated anyone with chil...
A. 28 May 2012: I agree with what the others have said, you two are not right for each other. You say yourself you WOULD be, if it wasn't for his children- but they're not going to go anywhere, they're going to be a constant presence -as it should be- in his life. ... (read in full...)
How does a person get quality dates?
Q. I'm pretty {sure, not everyone's cup of tea and with several flaws, but I'm attractive still}, smart, witty. I don't have issues getting male attention when I go out, but I do have issues getting quality dates. I don't really care for the kind of ...
A. 21 May 2012: @Arete:
You make a really good and interesting point about keeping in consideration the male ratio of whichever place/activity I could be interested in. I feel like that is what is hurting my chances at finding a guy at my Uni- I study Lit and ... (read in full...)
How does a person get quality dates?
Q. I'm pretty {sure, not everyone's cup of tea and with several flaws, but I'm attractive still}, smart, witty. I don't have issues getting male attention when I go out, but I do have issues getting quality dates. I don't really care for the kind of ...
A. 21 May 2012: Hi! Thank you for the long and thoughtful reply.
Your analysis of a typical date is very spot on- and unfortunately there are people who don't call back when they realize you won't do anything with them without being in a stable relation... (read in full...)
I have feelings for someone that I shouldn't
Q. I have feelings for a person I should not. He is brilliant, incredibly smart and charming, we talked for months everyday last year, attended a course at our college together last fall, saw each other frequently over the winter at academical meetings ...
A. 20 May 2012: Time, most likely. Give it more time. If you really are so in love with him, it may take a few more months, but eventually you will get over him. Try and stay away from him as much as you can in the meantime, as you've been doing. Keep yourself ... (read in full...)
Dumped on my birthday and I have no idea why!
Q. Am feeling pretty fragile at the moment and in a state of shock and am hoping someone will offer me some advice. Have been in a relationship for the last 6 years and without warning and without any clues I have been dumped a few days ago. My partner ...
A. 20 May 2012: Either you ex is a perfect actress who hid everything that was bothering her -the real reason of the break up- from you and then sadistically decided to dump it on you on your birthday {in which case, you're better off without her, even if you won't ... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 20 May 2012: @Cerberus: "The price of a return bus fare to spend a night or weekend with you, that's a bargain if you ask me." A really good way to put it, so thank you. You're right about him being insecure, definitely- he got so even when we met a friend... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 20 May 2012: @Tisha-1: No specific script at all, no. He did get better, to be fair, the second time, as everything does, with experience- which is also why I partially did not get why his reaction to my reaction to that first kiss was so bad. {I definite... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 20 May 2012: @Cindycares:
I agree that this whole thing doesn't make that much sense as it is. {As an aside, the drive thing doesn't really count, as he'd have had to come by train, because his family only owns one car and he can't borrow it frequent... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 19 May 2012: @ Cerberus: Thank you for your through reply, first of all. I really do get what you're saying, it does make a whole lot of sense and I'd likely agree with you- IF he wasn't the one who had clearly been chasing me before the whole kiss thing last ... (read in full...)
Is he just making excuses? Or is there something I can do to make this work?
Q. I met this guy while I was looking for no one {still burnt after the last one}- we were both waiting to take an exam at our Uni, he started talking to me and we got along well, so he left me his email. For the following couple of months, we wrote ...
A. 19 May 2012: Thank you for your time and answer.
I agree, I feel as though, as of now, not much can be done about this. If I didn't persuade him talking in person, if my kisses did not change his mind, I highly doubt that writing an email or a text will do.... (read in full...)
| *iamondshards's friends
These are mutual friends, so *iamondshards has
added them and they have added *iamondshards!
|
