A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts/uncles,I am into guys but only one person knows (I'm in my final year high school and living with my parents). He is one of my best friends and I have a crush on him, lets call him Bob. I have never told him that I like him beyond being a friend and quite frankly I'm afraid to because I like our friendship the way it is (I am sort of protective of him and he acts innocent and child-like eg claims no knowledge of a dirty joke told among friends but while asking what we're talking about makes clear innuendos on the topic) and don't want to risk having it fall apart because he feels weirded out by my feelings for him. That being said I still try to send signals to him.The other day I had Bob and another good friend come over and we set up our computers and played video games together for two nights. There was my bed and a hard fold out couch to sleep on. On the first night Bob was the last to go to bed and crashed on the floor because he didn't want to wake us up. On the second night he was the first to go to bed and ended up sleeping in my bed. I went to bed second and slept in my bed with Bob (we were both clothed). I felt although I didn't want to creep him out and have us wake up nose to nose so I slept on the edge of the bed. While I was trying to get to sleep I decided to see what his reaction would be if we woke up and our feet were touching so I repositioned myself so that my foot was under is ankle. About 30 minutes later I felt him sit up on the bed and I thought he was weirded out at our bodies touching but then he repositioned and laid back down almost snuggling me. I tried to see if he was awake and knowingly having our bodies touch and we went back and forth making slight repositions. When I woke up the next morning his knee was in my crotch, above one leg below another, and I had an erection but I'm not sure if he was awake. Eventually he was obviously awake and we were just lying in bed, in an almost spooning position, with a few centre-metres between us waiting for our other friend to wake up before we got up. After this he hasn't seemed to act any differently what so ever so my question he agony aunts/uncles is obvious. Do you think this encounter signifies anything or am I just reading too much into something because deep down I do want to be in a serious relationship with him?
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female
reader, diamondshards  +, writes (11 July 2012):
Tough question. First off, has he ever had a girlfriend or given clear signals about his sexuality? Of course, even so, he could still be bisexual, but it'd give you a starting point.
About the spooning thing...it depends on how affectionate he usually is as a person too. I have female friends who hug me a lot etc, so if we ever did sleep in the same bed and hug, I wouldn't think anything of it. Is he the sort of guy who's really into touching -not sexually, of course- the ones he's close with? If that's the case, he may not have meant anything romantic by that. On the other hand, if he's usually a more physically distant/shy person, then it surely does have more weight. He could be attracted to you- but I fear all you have and all you'll ever going to get are assumptions, unless you ask him directly. In your situation, you have to ask yourself whether the feelings you have for him are worth risking your friendship over. You don't say how long you've been crushing on him for, but, as a rule of thumb, teen crushes are not that long lived, whilst friendship last more often. Of course, though, the decision is up to you. Good luck.
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