A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If a guy has a girlfriend, is it possible he could be with her casually and not seriously and maybe for sex and companionship but not true love? Is it possible she is NOT the one or that he will be with her long term?If he is so happy with her, why is he so close to me and never mentions her, talks about her to me...flirts with me, asks me questions about my family, jokes with me about everything...tells me I am very beautiful...texts me etc. Is a guy always be serious with a girl he calls his girlfriend? Or can that term be used loosely in many cases?Thanks for your answers...
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (26 June 2012):
a guy SHOULD be serious with his girlfriend,if not hes not much good as romantic material to anyone else either
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): Some men flirt and joke with women who they are friends with. My fiance does it. He doesn't mention me frequently to the few women he hangs out with because i haven't had the chance to meet them and they are currently travelling for the summer.Have you asked him about his girlfriend? How she is doing? Have you met her? Do you want to meet her or do you see her as a possible romantic rival because his flirting and outgoing nature have you seeing him as something more than he intends your relationship to be?Some guys are just outgoing flirts. If his behavior is making you uncomfortable, you need to put your foot down and tell him he is behaving inappropriately for a man who is in a relationship.Finally, even if he were to break up with his girlfriend one day and you become his new girlfriend, his behavior with other women won't change. He'll still compliment and flirt because that is part of who he is.
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A
female
reader, justmen +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Nice comments from SVC. But any man that can't be alone should not be in a relationship. I don't believe in being with Mr./Mrs. almost right. It clouds judgment. It takes your time for finding your true partner. Age is also a determinate. Your profile states you are in the mid 30 range. At that age, most people are ready for a life-long companion. There are exceptions of course, but the ability to be alone, and not settle is critical to eventually being in a healthy relationship.
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A
female
reader, diamondshards +, writes (26 June 2012):
If words such as 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend' were only used when the other person is serious about you, people's lives would be much easier. I'd love for things to be THIS clear cut, but unfortunately they're not- men and women commit- even just relationship wise- out of loneliness, convenience, ego boosting etc. Not even terms such as 'wife' or 'husband' guarantee any love, respect, affection- no words do- that's actions' worth for you.Of course, you already know all of this and asked this question precisely to hear such answers. You want to be reassured that he can BE with her, but LOVE/LIKE you instead. That is extremely unlikely, honey, sorry to say- I've been where you are, and chances are he's just using both you and the gf and, ultimately, loves neither. Most likely, the only being he's entirely focused on is himself- and how much he can obtain out of the women around him, much like chess pieces/supplies. Of course, he could break up with her and actually get with you instead, at least if things between you two heated up only lately, but do keep in mind that is definitely the less likely scenario.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 June 2012):
 He wouldn't be with her if he didn't want to be. He might just be a flirty kind of guy, don't put too much stock in it. And don't help him cheat on his girlfriend if he turns out to be one of those creatures.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 June 2012):
 There's "Mr. Right" and "Mr. You'll do for now"
I'm sure men do the same thing.
Human nature is such that we don't want to be alone and sometimes we LIKE someone enough to spend time with them but NOT enough to marry them or be serious with them.
Clearly he gets one thing from her and another from you and neither of you are enough for him.
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