A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i was talking to my friends the other day about guys we've hooked up with and now im a bit worried. When im with a guy i tend to sort of tell them what I want them to do...like if they're not turning me on, i'll say 'do this is me...'. But my friends all said that was really bad, and would make the guy feel 'unmasculine' if i tried to dominate. What do you guys think - is a bossy girl a massive turn off? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 June 2012):
 Knowing and vocalizing what you like is never a bad thing. As long as you do it in a positive way it's a win/win situation.
A
male
reader, downonmyluck +, writes (1 June 2012):
hi, I have to agree here with what "aunt honesty' has told you.(see what she has written here, also on this same date of June lst. 2012.But if I may, I would have to add just a little something to what she has told you. I being a male, would just love it(of you being the dominate person). I guess I would have to say, it depends on the person.Yes, you certainly want to make the guy feel as if he knows what he's doing(even though he may not) LOL! But in all honesty, I love a girl that can take control too, although it can be shared by both. In my eyes atleast, a female that can take control is much better than having her rejecting the guy!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 June 2012):
 It depends upon what she's bossy about....
Consider: If she sez, "Hey there, stud..... get your clothes off and meet me in the bedroom in five minutes.." who'd have any problem with that..... BUT,
If she sed: "Hey, Wimp-boy, get the dishes done and vacuum the living room.... and then, I expect lights out for you, in the guest room by 8:30...." THAT might be a problem.....
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A
female
reader, diamondshards  +, writes (1 June 2012):
I do the same thing you do- I tell the guy what I like and what I don't as he's performing it. I prefer for him to kiss me on the higher part of the neck rather than the lower- why shouldn't I tell him that? When I'm the one in charge, I try and read his body language and gauge his reaction to get what he likes best too, in case he's not comfortable saying it out loud. It's not being bossy, it's being sincere, honest and in charge of your satisfaction as well as his. The type of guys your friends were talking about are the kind of boys who think a woman should just roll with whatever the guy wants and/or likes, without daring to voice her preferences or opinions about it. They must not really feel secure in their 'masculinity' if it takes so little to shake off their confidence. Now, sorry to say, but insecure guys who like passive women because they can't handle anything different turn ME off.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (1 June 2012):
 if someone isn't doing what you want and you tell them thats called communicating which is a good thing. if the guys cannot handle this then they aren't worth that much.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (1 June 2012):
I like a vocal girl who gives me qualify feedback, and is confident enough to take control once in a while. If a girl is constantly bossing, though, then yes that becomes a turn off. It's also bad when a girl never says anything, though. The key is finding balance.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (1 June 2012):
 I don't think so at all. I might even go as far as to say it's a bit of turn on. Knowing for certain you're doing exactly what the person you're hooking up with likes makes everything that much more exciting. And call me crazy, but I don't know if there's anything that makes a guy feel more masculine than knowing he did it right. Oh and don't confuse being vocal with being dominating, I'm sure you're fine.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (1 June 2012):
 No I don't think your friends are right at all. You are just telling them what you like. But be gentle about it and don't make them feel like they don't know what they are doing, just explain to them what you like.
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