Will I always be alone without a relationship?
Q. I’m turning 19 soon, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never even had a guy express interest. I’ve never even heard rumors that any guys might be interested. I didn’t attend any school dances, ...
A. 18 December 2009: See?! MORE negativity! Honestly girl, snap out of it. It sounds to me as if you are particularly glum about something, and putting a negative spin on your situation. You say you are barely spoken to, and you say you are more or less ignored. So... (read in full...)
What happened to us? Are my actions in the past to blame for his actions now?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are real happy together most of the times but ever since he’s gotten off probation he’s been a whole different person. We’ve been going out for a year and the whole time we have been going out he’s been on probation for a crime ...
A. 18 December 2009: I don't think you need to cast blame. It is a pointless exercise... I hate blame!!! In my view, blamers spend so much time trying to blame problems on people that they never get round to fixing the problems, once they have someone to blame they are ... (read in full...)
Can you slow down a whirl wind romance?
Q. I met this girl I'm dating on one of the matching websites and from the very first date we were amazed at our compatibility and our attraction for each other. We've been dating almost 4 months now. However, in the 4 months we've dated it's gone ...
A. 18 December 2009: why can't you see her in the week? what is the reason given for this, if any?... (read in full...)
Is fingering wrong when you plan to stay a virgin?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 months now. We dated earlier in the year for about 2 months and then we broke up and didn't talk for pretty much the entire summer, and then he asked me for a second chance so I agreed. He is not...
A. 18 December 2009: firstly understand why it is you want to remain a virgin until you marry.
also understand that you will feel urges that you will desire to have fulfilled, and that controlling them involves self-mastery. You may find you succumb to your urges wh... (read in full...)
Advice on how to squirt?
Q. how do I squirt?...
A. 18 December 2009: sorry anonymous, squirting is not the same as a g-spot orgasm. It's a different type of orgasm entirely. There is plenty about how to squirt on the internet which might be better for you, suffice to say it is uncontrollable to some extent but you do ... (read in full...)
Does my husband just want his cake and eat it too?
Q. my husband thinks its alright to keep in contact with his ex's. this has been an issue for me because i found messages from 1 of them telling him how much she loves him and misses him. so when i confront him he gets angry with me and says that "am ...
A. 18 December 2009: insecure.
If he doesn't want you he won't be with you. No amount of snooping on his phone calls or facebook will change that so don't stress yourself out.... (read in full...)
Is my compulsion to make women orgasm an addiction?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 28 year old man and I think I'm addicted to making women orgasm. When I'm with a woman I'm intimate with, I just crave making her cum. It really turns me on, but I actually feel almost compelled to do it. I love, LOVE going...
A. 18 December 2009: as long as this doesn't rule your life when you're not with a lover, or rule the way you relate to your partner
(s)- and by that I mean make sure you treat your woman properly in all areas of life, and not just see her as an orgasm waiting to happ... (read in full...)
Will I always be alone without a relationship?
Q. I’m turning 19 soon, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never even had a guy express interest. I’ve never even heard rumors that any guys might be interested. I didn’t attend any school dances, ...
A. 18 December 2009: You have to get out and about with friends. Go more places, meet more people and stop being a loner.
It can be really difficult when all your friends are coupled up but you have to make the effort and go out wherever possible, even if you have pla... (read in full...)
G/f wants to strip to make extra money!
Q. I am 30 yrs old and my gf of 3 yrs is 25 yrs old, together we have a 15 month old daughter who is my world. I a full time fire fighter and work part time as a janitor at a local middle school. My gf is a full time TA. Even with both of us working we ...
A. 17 December 2009: Firstly, review your spending and plan a budget. Work out what your essential outgoings are each month (or week or quarter, whatever suits), by that I mean rent and bills- things you cannot choose or cut down on. Then, allocate a certain amount for ... (read in full...)
He's suddenly treating me like dirt. What should I do about him?
Q. I have known aidan for around 3 months now, and untly things have been going great, i am really attracted to him, not just on his looks but on his personality. I used to go to his, and we have exchanged passionate kisses and i have develope...
A. 17 December 2009: let things cool off for a bit. If he's out of order he'll realise and pull his finger out, and if you're over-reacting then you'll have time to get a grip.... (read in full...)
Are these gifts a little strange?
Q. If I get turned on when my wife wears leggings, and I get her a couple pair of leggings from Victoria's Secret, along with a sleep shirt to wear with each, do you think she might find this kind of strange? Our sex life is not so great, needs ...
A. 17 December 2009: Go for it!
I know from experience that it can sometimes be tricky to know what props to use when trying to spice things up, it is possible to go VERY wrong! I have always really appreciated knowing what it is that turns my man on and, however ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to speed up a period?
Q. i just got my period today and its wednesday.. i want to gone by saturday.. is their anything i can do to speed up the process?...
A. 17 December 2009: There is an old wives' tale about having a really hot bath which might encourage your blood to flow quicker. Since a period is of finite quantity in theory the quicker it comes the sooner it will stop.
Depending on how heavy your periods are it m... (read in full...)
How can I get him back? I'm miserable.
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months just broke up with me and im so heartbroken because we are also colleagues! It hurts me so much to see him. He always treated me like his princess.. But i guess i was too demanding and always angry at him. He had enough of ...
A. 17 December 2009: Get a grip. It's difficult to be rejected but it will pass. Being colleagues won't help matters because ideally you should get some space from each other. Is it at all possible that you could take some time off and have a little holiday? Try t... (read in full...)
He wants to give up his dream for me
Q. My fiancee and I have been together for four years. I love him very much, and I would never want to be the reason he turned down a dream. However, I've spent the past few years training in a field that is highly specialized to where we live no...
A. 17 December 2009: Without knowing what the jobs are I can't give much advice, but I am surprised to learn of a job that can only be done in one place on Earth.
I know that employers tend to look at the skills which are components of a job, rather than jobs as a who... (read in full...)
Dad caught me masturbating
Q. Im 14 years old and i dont know wat to do because my dad caught me masterbaiting. My dad isnt the best understanding person. what should i do? Also i want to ask a girl out but i have acne i dont want to get turned down and im not that good at talki...
A. 17 December 2009: Forget about your dad catching you masturbating, it's a brilliant story which you can tell when you're older and more confident. Everyone masturbates at some point, and if they say they don't they're lying. I'd be surprised if your dad ever ... (read in full...)
He said he'd call, but he hasn't. will he?
Q. I was with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We lived together and were seriously talking about marriage. I made a huge mistake and moved out. I was really stressed out and thought he was the cause. Now that I have moved out, I am miserable and want him ...
A. 17 December 2009: You're probably the best person to answer the question here since you actually know the guy! Is he the sort to just fob you off? is he likely to say something just to say it, or does he say what he means and mean what he says?
He might be missing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is talking to his ex behind my back!
Q. Okay this girl messaged me on myspace saying she was a friend of my bf's ex. She was telling me how he was calling her and messaging her on myspace saying how he missed her but he wants to keep it from me till he is ready to tell me. I didn't want ...
A. 14 December 2009: you looked at his phone, the number wasn't there. so he MUST have deleted it.
There's no evidence for him ringing her, but he must be just really good at hiding it, right?
Thing is, he didn't hide those messages, so why would he hide his call... (read in full...)
Who is the father of my baby?
Q. Hi. I'm 27 weeks pregnant tomorrow and my due date is on the 18 march 2010. Me and my partner were having a bit of trouble round the time I think I fell pregnant and I slept with a different boy on the 17th may and 26th june. I wanted to know if ...
A. 14 December 2009: Human women are pregnant for 9 months.
count each month from may until you reach 9 and you reach february.
count each month from june and you reach.... march.
June 18th- march 18th is exactly 9 months. I'm not sure how accurate your due da... (read in full...)
I feel my life slipping away and I want to be happy!
Q. I have been posting asking for advice in relation to moving on a mutual attraction. I have been trying to get out of a relationship but find it hard as do not want to be totally alone. I feel b/f is seeing other peoplke as he has not been with me ...
A. 14 December 2009: why did you send him away? You should probably have it out with him. It's odd that you haven't met his family yet you have a 7 year old kid together. I think it's time to give him his ultimatum. Work out what you want from him, ask him for it and ... (read in full...)
Christmas is anything but a time to be joyful for me
Q. I have always hated xmas. Firstly my older childrens father use to two time me at this time which seriously damaged me emotionally. Secondly I come from a very large family and since back in the UK for 26 years, they have never invited me for x...
A. 14 December 2009: I think xmas is for kids really. To adults it's usually an excuse to eat loads and fall asleep in the day.
I can remember my mum telling me when I was about 8 that she hated xmas, for reasons like yours, we never had a fun time because she was ... (read in full...)
Break up help...
Q. I know what I need to do, but... ...but I still need reassurance? Strength? My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. He comes to see me twice a month and stays at my house. We talk to each other every day. I wanted to go see...
A. 14 December 2009: I would tread carefully if I were you.
I agree this is a bad, no, destructive relationship and I agree that you need to end it. This man exerts a tremendous amount of control over you. He has access to your e-mails; one text from him can ruin an ... (read in full...)
He keeps promising, but never follows through
Q. I was introduced to a guy about 6 weeks ago by mutual friends who said he'd been asking them to set us up. From what I know of him I really like him. We have been out a couple of times and we also go to the same church. I thought we were having a...
A. 14 December 2009: Why don't you try and make a proper arrangement, after all his reply to your invite was " I MIGHT just do that" not a definite isit?
What I would say is "oh, I thought you might come over the other night to watch (whatever it was)".... see what... (read in full...)
I struggle to trust, and I "found" a text he sent another woman
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. I am struggling to trust him. It is probably my own trust issues but I keep finding reasons not to trust him. He swears he is loyal and loves me. But I found a text message he sent to another ...
A. 14 December 2009: You didn't "find" a text message, you searched his phone because you don't trust him!
You shouldn't do that, and you shouldn't feel as if you need to. Perhaps you are not secure enough to have a relationship with someone else? Surely the point is... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop acting like this?
Q. Dear GirlShrink, Me and my boyfriend have been broken up for 3 months. And hes in a new "relationship" already, although i think its clearly not that after the break up he spent most of his time with this girl thats always just been his friend, ...
A. 14 December 2009: To be completely frank, I think it is you who ought to stop acting like that. From what you've said, you sound very mean. Imagine sending such a bitchy message to another woman! If this man is using her as a rebound as you suspect then that's bad ... (read in full...)
I have been married for a few short months, but the no sex is getting to me
Q. I have been married several months now. Things didn't start too postively when my wife was too tired to make love on our wedding night. It was a tiring day so this was fair enough and I didn't create a fuss. Howver ever since we have sex so ...
A. 14 December 2009: If you love your wife then you'll have to make the effort and build this up slowly. Don't forget to make genuine complements and shows of affection if and when you do have sex, don't be OTT and insincere, she'll see through that, but make her feel ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that he's still not over his ex, I don't know if I should break up with him over this.
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about one and a half years now. He's very sweet to me and cares about me, but he still hasn't said "i love you" yet. I know that I shouldn't be comparing, but he said "i love you" to his ex way before one and a half ...
A. 13 December 2009: I've had boyfriends that sometimes talk about their exes quite a lot. It can be a wind-up so I do sympathise. Thing is, close relationships can really affect people and it's not very fair to deny someone the space to talk about parts of their life ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend worried about prison or not interested?
Q. I hooked up with a guy I'd known for a while this summer. We had a geat time and saw each other quite a lot for about a fortnight. I had recently moved back to the area he lived in but was working away a lot so we didn't see each other again til the ...
A. 13 December 2009: To anyone who read or wrote back, this is the latest. I ended up biting the bullet and we had a heart to heart. My lover said the last thing he wanted was to be in love and going to prison, but he couldn't help the way things had gotten quite ... (read in full...)
Are there any signs I can look out for to see if he still has feelings?
Q. Ok, long story short, my sister met this bloke and him and his son came to live with her about a year or so ago. me and the son hit it off and ended up getting really close emotionally (amongst other things) no details. especially after...
A. 19 November 2009: if he licks his lips when he's looking at you it means he fancies you.
It doesn't mean he definitly wants you though, lots of "other stuff" gets in the way of purely physical attraction. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I am too young to be the mother of his baby.
Q. i am a virgin and would love to have sex with my bf and become his child's mom but my bf says that i'm very young to be the mother of his kid and he would make me pregnant only aftr i finish my college but i want it rite now and i have gone mad ...
A. 18 November 2009: I actually pity you. Hormones are powerful things. You are lucky your boyfriend has half a clue. It's probably not what your mother would tell you but why don't you start enjoying a sexual relationship before you start thinking about babies?... (read in full...)
I suspect my girlfriend is having cybersex behind my back, am I just being paranoid?
Q. It's a long story, I've been with my girlfriend for the last 6 months, we have an internet relationship and we have met up about 10 times (we live an hour away from each other). We love each other to bits but I suspect her of having cybersex...
A. 18 November 2009: I think you would do well to realise that many people adopt a different persona for online activities. For example, my name is not Dazey and if I overheard you talking about this on a bus I would probably not interfere! The web gives us all a little ... (read in full...)
How can I dress more attractively?
Q. i am a short , fat and black guy. plsss pour your suggestions for dressing attractively. i usually wear jeans trousers and t - shirts. but my friends insist me to wear formals that 'd be looking nice for me... plsss yur ideas!!!!!!!!!!!...
A. 18 November 2009: If you haven't developed your own style, then perhaps emulate the style of someone you admire and who has a similar physique to yours. Trust your friends' opinions too. If you have any good friends, probably female, ask them to come shopping with ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to compromise in my home. How can I get my daughter-in-law to pitch in?
Q. My husband and I both smoke. I know it's a nasty, unhealthy, disgusting habit but we have it, nonetheless. We don't smoke in other people's homes out of respect for their space but feel we have the right to do what we want in our own home. ...
A. 18 November 2009: I smoke, but if I have kids around I always do so outside out of respect for them, they are often dragged round by their parents so it is not their choice to be in a smoky environment. The effects of passive smoking are well-established so you can ... (read in full...)
I am desperate to meet someone. Why am I having trouble?
Q. Hello, I am a woman in my mid forties. I was in a relationship with a man a while back but, broke up. I still see him since we travel in the same circles. It took me a long time to get over him. I really fell for this guy and it has been...
A. 18 November 2009: I think men can sense it when a woman is desperate. You don't want to come across as desperate, surely? So I think maybe try to forget about finding someone and get a couple of new interests to take your mind off it. If you can find something you're ... (read in full...)
I was MIA for 6 weeks, but she broke up with me for an older rich man!
Q. So I've been seeing this girl for over a year. The status of our relationship has varied from lovers,to close friends, to 'just friends' to 'seeing each other.'. Around 6 months ago we broke off our relationship to become just friends. After ...
A. 18 November 2009: what's mia? is it awol?... (read in full...)
Is it possible to change a man's mind once they've settled on a course?
Q. Hi, I've written before about my boyfriend who is going through a divorce and that I feel as though he has been showing less interest in me as a person recently and been a bit complacent towards me - even though he did make the effort to see me...
A. 18 November 2009: You say: i have been quite depressed recently due to loosing my job, getting over a serious illness and moving country... I have been taking antidepressants - and this relationship has been such a wonderful breath of fresh air for me. This migh... (read in full...)
I want a meaningful relationship with another girl, but I don't now how to go about it!
Q. I really want to have a meaningful relationship with another girl, but i don't know really how to go about doing that. i haven't ever dated another woman before. i've looked up some chat sites and such, but they all seem to just want sex now and i ...
A. 18 November 2009: It's odd isn't it, but I think you find a lot of people that engage in homosexuality just for kicks, as if being gay is a sexual kink and not suitable fr a meaningful realtionship. It must be difficult then, to navigate through the hedonists, e... (read in full...)
I'm going to prison for 6 months. How will I cope?!
Q. Hi, I hope you are all well. Ok here is my problem, I am a nice middle class women of 28, I have guy I am with and another think I may end up with, a good job and a nice flaty I rent with some friends, I went to University, did a degree and ...
A. 18 November 2009: It sounds a cliche but take it one day at a time! Be good, toe the line and you'll be out in less, that's a guarantee. I've never been inside but maybe you should play down the nice middle class woman thing a bit, but don't develop an attit... (read in full...)
My wife intends to file for divorce to be with another man!
Q. I have been married for 13 years to the love of my life. Like so many other men on this site I too became comfortable in our marrige, and did not give my wife the attention she desired. We have four beautiful children together. I found out about ...
A. 18 November 2009: I do empathise with your situation but my own experiences don't help me to offer you any advice. One thing I might be able to answer is how she could turn off her feelings for you and on to someone else. I think you should read about oxytocin, ... (read in full...)
This girl is horrible to me. Could it be true she likes me?
Q. Hellooo :), i have a question about a girl in our class. I've been wondering if she fancies me or not, but its a bit complicated. We both did a college course last year and everyone that i have kept in touch with from that course said they thought ...
A. 18 November 2009: Probably is the quick answer.
Even if it seems rude, her belittling you is a form of giving you attention. Why it takes that form we can't be sure, however the evidence (in the top 3 on her "to do" list ;);)) suggests it's because she likes yo... (read in full...)
I need advice about my feelings for my teacher!
Q. This is probably going to be long, so bear with me. To start with, I don't want to hear how wrong you think/know these kind of relationships are, and how they will not work out and only cause trouble. I know this already. I'm old enough and matur...
A. 18 November 2009: Hi, I think I mentioned this but I really advise you to go to student support and get practcal help with organising your workload and planning essays and assignments for this course. the emotional stuff needs time and depends on other people... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend worried about prison or not interested?
Q. I hooked up with a guy I'd known for a while this summer. We had a geat time and saw each other quite a lot for about a fortnight. I had recently moved back to the area he lived in but was working away a lot so we didn't see each other again til the ...
A. 11 November 2009: I agree with you wholeheartedly Q, thanks for taking the time to write... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend worried about prison or not interested?
Q. I hooked up with a guy I'd known for a while this summer. We had a geat time and saw each other quite a lot for about a fortnight. I had recently moved back to the area he lived in but was working away a lot so we didn't see each other again til the ...
A. 11 November 2009: not at all q, I like your style and I agree, I've just been losing sight of myself and what I find acceptable, but realise I have to adjust that now, be humble and take my ego out of the picture at least til this blows over. I always knew it was a ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend worried about prison or not interested?
Q. I hooked up with a guy I'd known for a while this summer. We had a geat time and saw each other quite a lot for about a fortnight. I had recently moved back to the area he lived in but was working away a lot so we didn't see each other again til the ...
A. 11 November 2009: nice 1 q1605! Just needed to hear it from someone else, you know? His brave face is so good you kind of forget how major it all is. ... (read in full...)
I need advice about my feelings for my teacher!
Q. This is probably going to be long, so bear with me. To start with, I don't want to hear how wrong you think/know these kind of relationships are, and how they will not work out and only cause trouble. I know this already. I'm old enough and matur...
A. 11 November 2009: If you think it would help, mention to your tutor that you're distracted because there's someone in your class that you have a crush on. You don't have to say it's your teacher. It also sounds like you don't have a "study buddy" which you seem to be ... (read in full...)
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