A
female
age
41-50,
*azey
writes:I hooked up with a guy I'd known for a while this summer. We had a geat time and saw each other quite a lot for about a fortnight. I had recently moved back to the area he lived in but was working away a lot so we didn't see each other again til the following month, it has been a slow burner but a lot of fun. I imagined we'd keep it casual, did i mention his forthcoming court case and possible prison? :( But things seemed to really take off from both our points of view. Especially since my summer job ended and I've been around a bit more, we've spent some great times and really connected.... He's even taken me to meet both his mum and his dad! I'm confused however since he doesn't keep in touch with me, and sometimes he doesn't come by when he says (I wouldn't mind if he didn't, just annoying that he says he will then doesn't!!). I know the excuses, we live rurally and rely on buses and lifts, and I also know he's just getting trashed with his mates at every opportunity since he could be going away pretty soon, however there's a chance he won't and therefore I don't want to set myself up for being treated poorly or looking like a sap in the long run. Not being phoned or met as agreed annoys me a bit but I've been going extra easy on him cos i know his head is on other things.So I guess my question is, should I complain or keep quiet?- is it right to compromise your standards when you know that right now someone just doesn't need the stress of it all. AND Do you think he's just not in touch cos he's not interested or am i right to assume that the court thing really is the devil in the detail? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dazey +, writes (13 December 2009):
dazey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo anyone who read or wrote back, this is the latest. I ended up biting the bullet and we had a heart to heart. My lover said the last thing he wanted was to be in love and going to prison, but he couldn't help the way things had gotten quite intense. I agreed.
I said that I figured if he did go down (jail, not the other!) that would wreck his life for a while, so my view was why plan for that and effectively start ruining all fun now: go-with-the-flow. He agreed.
Now we are on more of a level and I am helping him with aspects of his case, and he is helping me with other stuff that I have going on. Win. Win.
thanks Cupid.
A
female
reader, dazey +, writes (11 November 2009):
dazey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with you wholeheartedly Q, thanks for taking the time to write
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A
female
reader, dazey +, writes (11 November 2009):
dazey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnot at all q, I like your style and I agree, I've just been losing sight of myself and what I find acceptable, but realise I have to adjust that now, be humble and take my ego out of the picture at least til this blows over. I always knew it was a bad time for romance, but you can't argue with cupid can you? look what hapened to psyche...
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A
female
reader, dazey +, writes (11 November 2009):
dazey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnice 1 q1605! Just needed to hear it from someone else, you know? His brave face is so good you kind of forget how major it all is.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 November 2009):
 If I were you I'd just wait until you have the outcome of his court case. Once that is settled, you will need to have a nice chat with him about all this.
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