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Is fingering wrong when you plan to stay a virgin?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 months now. We dated earlier in the year for about 2 months and then we broke up and didn't talk for pretty much the entire summer, and then he asked me for a second chance so I agreed.

He is not a virgin but he knows that I still am. I don't know if he knows that I want to wait until I am married to have sex, but he has never tried to pressure me into sex. He has played with my boobs before, and for the most part that was the extent of what we had ever done.

It wasn't until the past 2 days where he began to finger me, and it all started when I began unknowingly rubbing his penis through his boxers (I wasn't really paying attention; that's why I didn't notice at first). He then put his hand down my pants and began rubbing me until I pulled his hand out for him to stop, then we went to sleep.

In the morning I kind of wanted him to do it again, so I begain rubbing his penis again first on top of his boxers, then directly on it. When I stopped, he put his hand down my pants again and began rubbing me and fingering me even more and harder than the night before, every once in a while giving me soft kisses on my forehead.

I am 19 and he is 20. Is there anything wrong with him fingering me if I still plan to be a virgin until I am married? And does he seem like a typical guy who just wants to get some action, or does it seem like he really does care for me but is willing to do anything that I will do?

Thanks :)

View related questions: boobs, broke up, fingering

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Good advice, thanks everybody =)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009):

You can remain a virgin right up until the point when his penis enters you- then you're not. The point is you can have manual and oral play w/o any question about your virginity status. Some take this so far as to include anal sex in the "allowed and not taking my virginity" status, but I think that

's a major stretch.

Enjoy yourself, and as long as you've explained to him your plans, no problem.

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A female reader, dazey New Zealand +, writes (18 December 2009):

firstly understand why it is you want to remain a virgin until you marry.

also understand that you will feel urges that you will desire to have fulfilled, and that controlling them involves self-mastery. You may find you succumb to your urges when you least plan and that the moment won't be so magical after all.

do what you feel comfortable with emotionally and physically. The important thing is not to feel guilty about anything you do engage in.

this guy sounds nice and it seems like you initiated the feeling up rather than him. he might be looking for action, but then so are you by the sounds of things. also remember that you can have a LOT of fun without any penetration, so if that's where you draw the line then so be it.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2009):

All guys will want sexual pleasure.

It's natural for them to want their girlfriend, and if they didn't then something would be very wrong.

If you want to wait till you are married then that's fine, let him know that so he doesn't get his hopes or expectations up.

As for what else you want to do, have a good think about it now.

How far do YOU think is acceptable to go before marriage? Make the decision now and talk to your boyfriend about it too. Draw the lines and then don't let either of you cross them.

Good Luck!! xx

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