A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my husband thinks its alright to keep in contact with his ex's. this has been an issue for me because i found messages from 1 of them telling him how much she loves him and misses him. so when i confront him he gets angry with me and says that "am being insecured!" anyways years go by and recently he just joined facebook. well, i thought this would be different for him but then i catch him searching for his highschool sweetheart and sends her a iheart (from facebook) and not me. am i really overreacting or im i being insecured? not to mention he even stays in touch with a child hood friend whom he had a crush with for years and recently heard him on the phone calling her "my love". he dont even say things like that to me! so, am i being insecured or is it he just wants his cake and eat it too?
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crush, facebook, his ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Soja Exiles +, writes (18 December 2009):
 Sounds innocent, but its not. He gets used to this behavior, he will keep his leash as long as possible, eventually treading farther then you expected. He is your husband, not your boyfriend.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 December 2009):
 I agree he's being a jerk. Don't take this from him. Lay down the law. The next time he crosses it and then shouts at you for being insecure just leave him for awhile. See how he likes that!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): Lay down the law.But be reasonable.He he crosses the line and goes intimate with them then it calls for the cold winter experience.
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (18 December 2009):
he knows he is ultimately in control of the situation; you will tolerate it. This is what he has learned from your past behaviors.
Set boundaries. Tell him if he crosses them that you are leaving him. Be sure he knows it is not about what he does or doesn't do (with other women), but rather that trust must be established based on strict adherence to said boundaries.
If he crosses the boundaries, leave and make no contact for a looooooong while.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 December 2009):
No you aren't being insecure, but he knows you'll leave him alone when he shouts at you.
I think you need to tell him this needs to stop.
It's not acceptable and shows no respect for you or your marriage.
I'd walk out for a few days and see how he acts. If he comes after you and agrees to cut contact with these women and show you more love, then great. If not then you know you were wasting your time anyway.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, dazey  +, writes (18 December 2009):
insecure.
If he doesn't want you he won't be with you. No amount of snooping on his phone calls or facebook will change that so don't stress yourself out.
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