A
male
age
41-50,
*orried_bf
writes:I am 30 yrs old and my gf of 3 yrs is 25 yrs old, together we have a 15 month old daughter who is my world. I a full time fire fighter and work part time as a janitor at a local middle school. My gf is a full time TA. Even with both of us working we are still having problems finacially. My gf came to me a few days ago and said that she talked to a few friends of hers that told her she could make alot of extra money stripping privatly for a company that they knew that did mens stag parties and birthday parties etc. I personally was furious that she even considered this. She got mad and said I was jsut jealous and that if I made more money she wouldnt have to consider it. First how can I show her its not a jealousy thing its a respect thing, I dont want her to have to degrade herself liek that, at privatley cousl mean danger on her part. I work 2 jobs and on my days off I watch my daughter so she doenst have to go to daycare. I pick up any shifts I can. How can I show her its nto my fault that we are nto making enough money
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Ah America, land of the 3 job family and still not being able to make ends meet. Not exactly what they show on TV, is it.
Either you guys get paid an insanely low wage, or you two are living above your means. When you got a large screen tv and then spend all your time away at work to pay for it, perhaps it is time to ask "what the fuck am I doing".
Why isn't three incomes enough? What would the money she makes from stripping go to. What does she thinks it pays (per hour), how would taxes be handled? What remains of your social life with 2 people having 4 jobs. What if someone from work finds out and she looses her day job? What if your kids find out or their friends?
Does the stripping job include pay for the clothes and travel expenses (people often forget this in "to good to be true" jobs).
What of the danger. Is it just stripping? If she strips for extra cash, then why not a lapdance? A blowjob? Sex? There is always extra money to be had.
This issue is about more then just stripping I think. It is about 2 people not being able to make ends meet with the jobs they got. That either means you need to find better jobs (I know that ain't easy) or lower their spending.
Because even if she does the stripping safely and "decently", then what have you got left? 4 jobs, between 2 people. How long can you keep doing that?
Why is the money you two are making right now, not enough. In Holland a janitor and teaching assistent working fulltime would have easily 3500-4000 euro's to spend plus child benefits.
I seen people work extra to pay for the car they need to do the extra work... kinda senseless.
A
female
reader, dazey  +, writes (17 December 2009):
Firstly, review your spending and plan a budget. Work out what your essential outgoings are each month (or week or quarter, whatever suits), by that I mean rent and bills- things you cannot choose or cut down on. Then, allocate a certain amount for food, (include treats and occasional eating out in this- you don't want to be too austere and then blow your budget out of rebellion). Allocate amounts for all the extras and basically build up a picture of what you can afford to spend, on what and when. When my finances get out of control from time to time I realise that it is because I don't even know how much I should be spending based on my income, so how on earth am I supposed to stay solvent?It should be possible for you to manage on two and a half incomes, but this might involve cutting back on certain things that you feel you can do without. The other option, once you have made a budget, is to figure out how much extra you need or would like, and ask for a raise based on that, don't just make a demand for a random amount, the fact you have put thought into your request means one of your employers ought to listen. In fact, with 3 jobs in the equation this might be a good option, and if all 3 were to agree then each raise could be less, if you follow? When you know how much extra you need, and if you really can't cut back anywhere to make the difference up, THEN it's time to start talking about extra jobs.Apologies if you have done this already, but a sensible budget should be the first step and you may find you can avoid the stripper issue altogether (which sounds like a confidence/ attention thing anyway).Good luck
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