A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why am I still single? I'm a 25 year-old intelligent woman with a college education and a good job. I would say I'm above average in appearance, though slightly overweight, but I have lost weight recently and I'm getting many positive comments about it. I've had four serious relationships in the past 8 years, one of which ended a month ago. I want so badly to meet the right person, get married, and start a family. I feel like I've tried everything - online dating sucks and men don't approach me in public. My mom went off on me when I ended my last relationship and I needed her support. She's dying for grandchildren, but instead of support, she makes me feel like a failure. I ran into a former co-worker yesterday who asked: "Are you still not married?" Today I found out that a man I dated less than two years ago is now engaged. All I think about is where I could find that right person. I developed a crush on my co-worker's friend and I almost feel like he's my last hope. If he doesn't want me, who will?
View related questions:
co-worker, crush, engaged, overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, heizy  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 I am also 25 and still single but I am not rushing into marriage. I don't want to fall to that crap or pressure that at 25, singles like me should be married. I am also educated, beautiful, and intelligent. I live my life to the fullest each day as a college instructor. I date and just have fun and friends. I am not looking into a serious relationship because I am not easily attracted to men. Maybe, you are in this situation. I think we cannot pressure ourselves to love. Thats bad.
A
male
reader, SouthernMan25 +, writes (14 April 2008):
I am a 25 year old male who is single, a virgin and never beem in a realtionship. In a way I use to feel bad. But I want to marry a fellow virgin and I want to marry a woman who fears God. in my teens I was anti sex before marriage and from 21-24 I was looking for a sexual partner and found some easy girls but didnt feel right and didnt like them but now I am praying and waiting to meet the right girl.... And I dont care what the stats say, God willing I will marry a fellow virgin but I will say this a former prostitue nope, a woman with a child, nope. I am looking for a nice classy woman who has standards and wont sleep with just anyone and as a man I have held the same standards. I am built, not fat, not too shy and I have had several chacnes to lost it but Im looking fr someone special and I cant find what I want, its not meant to be.
...............................
A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Hi, it will happen in its own goodtime, dont be in such a rush to get married, enjoy your single life now, live for the moment and generally it will happen when you least of all expect it. I was in a relationship of 3 years with a guy, we broke up and i was very upset, took me a good year to get over it, i ment a guy and at the time i was not ready, (marriage was never a major thing for me) but we went on a few dates took it slow and now he is my husband. All i am trying to say is, just enjoy your life, dont be feeling the pressure from your mum or anyone else that you have to be married. I you meet the love of your life, enjoy and relax and it will happen for you. Good luck and enjoy. xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Looking for love will get you nowhere. It will happen when it is meant to. And wanting a husband? I've learned something valuable you should really take to heart. You should never want a husband, you should want the love of your life. Just wanting to be married is not a good thing. And you just got out of a serious relationship a month ago?? Come now, it has been one month and already you are stressing over being alone? You really need to learn to be happy with being alone. Needing someone, especially expecting every guy you talk to to turn into something serious or your future husband, is more than unhealthy. Really though you are only 25. You could meet someone 3 months from now and be married by 28, you just don't know. And stressing over it or whats wrong with you does nothing but make it worse, cause it certainly wont make a husband just appear from thin air. Go with the flow, enjoy your life, don't worry so much. Good luck with everything.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): My dear, I am 31 & still single. I am not trying to blow my own trumpet but I am really a good catch. It's just too bad men don't see that. They either think I'm taken or to hard to get. It's their loss, not mine!
...............................
A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Have you tried tazers and handcuffs?
Single, unsuspecting males can usually be found milling about outside of bars or anywhere alcohol or sports memorobilia is sold.
If you choose carefully (preferably a guy who is smaller and weaker than yourself) you can pounce on him from a nearby bush and have him bound and gagged in your basement in no time.
You could also lure one back to your apartment and spring the trap there, as long as he's drunk enough to overpower.
Once captured, the disoriented, inebriated male should be easy enough to seduce with a little effort on your part, especially if you've rented the right porn. But remember not to leave him alone with his hands free. Keep them tied securely behind his back! You don't want to come back to a self-satisfied, snoring, and useless father to be.
Lastly, if the male is going to be in your custody for a while remember to purchase plenty of beer and nachos, and subscribe to the sports package from your local cable provider.
It should be noted that any attempts to get your captured male to take out the garbage or mow the lawn could furnish him with an opportunity to run off with his secretary or your best friend.
Best wishes and good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): I agree with the other posts. No offense, but you sound like one of those girls who values themselves based on being in a serious relationship. Why can't you be happy by yourself? You need to fix your own insecurities before you start worrying about not being married. I realize it must be hard when people are judgemental but I find it very strange that you're complaining about not being able to find anyone ONE MONTH after breaking up with your boyfriend. Does that not seem silly to you?
...............................
A
male
reader, Transcowboy +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Dont give up, there is somone out there for everyeone. That is what they tell me. At least you have had some relationships. Im 26 years old, and never had a girlfriend. It just takes time. Someone wil come along. Dont feel pressured by your mother or anyone else. Dont try so hard. Maybe you should try joining an art class of something else you enjoy. not to meet men but to just have fun and relax, you never know who you meet.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 You are trying too hard to find a man to get married.
If you are desperate to get married , men will perceived you
like the T-Rex and out to devour them.
They will scoot off as fast as their feet can carry them.
Enjoy life for you are a complete woman even if you don't have a man.
25 is just on the threshold of life and you still have a long way to travel.
...............................
A
female
reader, citris +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Honey, I'm 28 and still single with no children. Everything comes in time, and at the RIGHT time. Just enjoy life!
Before you know it you'll be a grandmother and miss these days right here that you have now.
The more you look for it, the more it hides...
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Last hope at 25? Ouch.
Is your name Leisure Suit Larry? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? (Old game reference)
The odd thing is that men looking for a serious relationship do NOT want a desperate woman. They seek a strong independent woman who is confident with her own single life.
It is players who seek desperate women because they know that girls like you will put up with practically everything. Be honest, none of the past four really ever showed any TRUE intrest in being with you for marriage and kids.
First thing to do is loose the desperation, enjoy the single life and realize you got plenty of time, develop hobbies, join a gym to get in shape.
Anything to stop you from showing up in a wedding gown on a first date. That scares men same as women are put off a man who starts talking about marriage on a first date.
As for finding men, well go where they are. Gyms are always good, you get in shape, they get in shape, what is not to like? Sport in general are good, squash might be better then tennis, golf if you like older guys, motor sports if you can afford it and want a rich guy.
Offcourse it is best if you have a real intrest in it, the more active your social life, the more fun a person you will be to be around. This gives you things to talk about on your first date other then asking him what babynames he likes.
You say online dating sucks, why? Several people here seem to like it and have had success with it.
Why don't men approach you in public? Apart from the desperate bit you sound pretty average, not ugly and not too beautiful to approach. How did you meet the guys you were in a relationship with?
The hobby/sport thing might help, it is easier to approach a woman when the opening topic is obvious.
If you look back at your adult life, have you ever spend it enjoying yourself and not hunting or being around a man? You start a serious relationship at 17! Give yourself some time off, reflect on what went wrong with these past guys. Were they the wrong type, did you handle it wrong so you know what to avoid in the future.
But mostly, geez, you are 25, whats the rush, tell your mom to get stuffed, if she wants babies she can have some herself.
...............................
|
