A
male
age
41-50,
*quaman7827
writes:I said things to her that really hurt her feeling and broke her heart. Now she does not want to talk to me, does not want to reply to my emails, has even removed me as a friend from her facebook, and said please do not contact her. I feel really bad for what i did and what i have said, but I really miss her and still care for her. The problem is she is going to Turkey on the 24th of July for 3 weeks. There has not been any communication between us for the past two weeks, and i have tried my best to let things settle, but i miss her so much, and i am afraid if i don't say something soon she might think i don't care for her. What should i do? I am not trying to win her back, but i just want her to be what she was before we hooked up, my best friend.
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female
reader, citris +, writes (16 July 2009):
 I had this situation with my ex and he respected my request not to contact me. almost a year later we happened to run into each other and caught up and it was pretty nice. At that point we were able to talk and be friends.
unfortunately for me he never really changed and he's no longer a part of my life and i'm okay with that. he's with someone else and i'm sure he's "happy" so it's great, but hopefully if you give her the time she needs you will be able to reconnect as friends sometime in the future.
To put it in a way that's a bit more harsh, you already took, did and said whatever YOU wanted and she dealt with it and is still probably dealing with it. Now it's YOUR turn to deal. You're going to have to deal with missing her. She's gone because you did something to make her leave, you disrespected not only your romantic relationship enough to have her end it, but you stomped all over your friendship with her by disrespecting her. I don't think that is something that many people take into account. Most of the time we are friends with the ones we date or are in a relationship with, and by hurting them, you're hurting your friendship.
Don't contact her. Not right now. Allow her the time and space she needs and if it's right then she will become a part of your life again. Until then, take this experience and learn from it. If you value someone being in your life, respect them and do what you have to do to keep them in your life at all times.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 July 2009):
 One way woman find respect from their ex is your honoring her request. It might be hard, but when she says not to contact her, doing so shows a lack of respect. Respect her now, you might get a chance to talk later, but if you show disrespect now, you'll further damage the possibility.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): my advice would be to send her a message or some way of contacting her to tell her ur feelings about wat happend
and if u explain things in the right way she might end up talking to u again..but u kno she might be hurt for awhile
hopefully she can find it in her heart to forgive u
good luck
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