A
male
age
30-35,
*cukup
writes:K so where to begin....me and my ex dated for a while and we were both in love and she truely was and so was i but i didnt show it enough, and one day we got in a huge fight and i said really mean shit , that i didnt mean. anyways we broke up for a few days after that and then she took me back and said she still loved me and wed get passed it, well i then went away for a week and when i got back she told me her ex is constantly telling her he still loves her and wants her back.so i told her after hearing this for 3 months that i want her to stop talking to him if thats all he does, like WTF is the point? (he was her first love and took her virginity) so anyways she prity much took that as a its me or him and thought that was me making her choose and to a extent it was, and she chose to be able to talk him him instead of continue seeing me.so 2 months of her calling every day, saying she loves me, giving me tons of hope, but not telling me the real reason for the break and siting my past outburst as the reason and just recently found out that was the real reason.anyways i KNOW for a fact he does not love her so its unfortunate if he really is fucking with her head like that, he lives on the other side of the country now and the chances of them ever being together again are like 0 neways so im not sure what shes confused over.she still tells me she loves me but that shes confused over what she wants, but tells me she doesent want him....yet constantly asks him if he loves her????? she sais she does not want to be with anyone right now and that we should just let things be for now.shes 17 im 19.......and for about a month after 2 months of giving me sooo much hope she all of a suden one day tells me its too hard for her to talk to me anymore and that she doesent love me, and hates me (cause wed fight more after the break then when we were together cause i wanted answers and she refused to give me any), and never wants to talk to me or see me again.i of course didint belive this for a seccond and then recently she has told me that is not what she wants at all, even though we still dont rly talk even though i want to, and that she still loves me very much but is just confused......WTF is there to be confused over!!!! its so obvious the guy doesent love her and if u heard half the shit ud agree, im literally better then him in every way and i do mean every way and somehow she doesent want me over unresolved feelings for a person she can never be with again!!!???? WTF do i do, i want her back more then anything in this world even after shes hurt me like this, even after all our fights cause i love her! and she sais she does too, shouldent that be enough?
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female
reader, chandra Mcmillan  +, writes (9 October 2008):
 This girl sounds like she needs some space, from men in general not just you and her ex. Just tell her you still have feelings for her but you respect that she wants to be alone. She will know then that you support her and do truly care for her.
I know it is tough if you have proclaimed your love for someone and then they do not return the same feeling, but you have to be firm and strong in the way you think and act.
Send her the occasional text once a fortnight to remind her your there is she wants to talk, (If she does dont let it lead to any kind of sex) Just let her know you are more in to her than she believes.
I think that she is feeling confused with her feelings and her dissisions about men and life. She will come around Dont worry.
HOPE THIS HELPS
GOOD LUCK
A
male
reader, fcukup +, writes (9 October 2008):
fcukup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNVM new story, i text her today asking her if shes better frome being sick, eventually she texts back saying she doesent want to talk to me and that me and her ex are both outa her life....thats what you wanted thats what you got is her words, and ive never said that at all so....ya kinda confused. i dont love you. i thought i did. i dont even love myself. i told her that kills me to hear and im not sure why she told me she loved me and got me to profess my love for her too when now the story has changed in 2 days and we havent even talked since then??? and she said thats good for you, im over this whole thing. I told her i know she will still talk to her ex and honestly dont care because hes already won.....she said no he hasent, i told her he came between you and me and kept her from moving on, she said no im not gonna talk to him he hates me....and he kinda does, he dumped her, and never rly loved her and just kinda didint give a fuck at any point during or after thier relashionship.....so i told her if he would talk to you you would talk to him so w/e.
i honestly dont know what to make of all this it makes no sesnse, how could she just be done with both of us, yet want to be alone and not want anyone.....is it just me or does no one LIKE to be alone?
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A
male
reader, fcukup +, writes (8 October 2008):
fcukup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe dont argue over the split we argue over her telling me she loves me and wants to be with me, and then sends me lots of micxed signals, what you do what you say imo, so if she wanted me back take me back?And trust me i should have just ignored her she prolly woulda come back to me by now if not like the next day, but she begged me to NEVER throw her outa my life cause she said she would never do that to me, and then for the last month she pretty much did as i explained above, so for this i was like 'Whats wrong' and let her know that she said that to me and then went and did the oposite of what she said....again what you say what you do.essentially it comes down to i call her on her lies, i call her on her BS, and i poke and prod till i know the full truth and nothing but the truth and she hates that, but i deserved to know and anyone who doesent agree can just go away. thats why we fight, cause she likes to keep secrets and i dont.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): im a girl and i have been in this position, just less intense. i still have my virginity etc. but me and my bf were fighting ALOT because i had major feelings for my ex. i still do but you need to understand that it can be VERY confusing.
have you told her you want her back more than anything in the world? if not, tell her.
at this point try to be supportive and be a good friend because when i broke up with my bf he just ignored me and it really hurt, it felt like he didnt care about me at all when inside he really did. Show her how caring and loving you can be :)
hope all gets better -x-
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A
female
reader, chandra Mcmillan +, writes (8 October 2008):
MAN, I know that you see this as her hurting you but I have to say and I dont judge. The attitute you have shown and admitted to yourself "Saying really mean shit" and "Dont talk to him anymore" this makes you seem very controling and no doubt this is how she see's it.
All you can do is put your point accross you know"I dont like the fact that this is what he says to you" you should have let her make her mind up.
If you are arguing over the split it is not somthing she will assosiate with a happy relationship and missing you.
You need to think about what you are going to say before you open your mouth, I do the same thing to my partner. Call her and tell her you understand that you should have never made her choose between you and him and even if she is with someone new you want to stay good friends with her. Be there for her to keep her safe and a shoulder if she needs it. If she likes you still and you like her it will all work itself out once you appologise for your behaviour about the ex.She will remember the good times with you.
Please dont think I am judging but I have to call it how it seems.
I hope this helps.
GOOD LUCK
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