A
female
age
30-35,
*azelbanana
writes:I'm bi. Thats a huge problem for me. I'm in love with my best friend, a girl. I've been bi for about three years and havent told a soul. My parents are very religous and deeply frown down on bis,lesbians,gay marriges etc.. and it really bothers me because I feel so trapped. I want to tell my best friend about it but im afraid of what she will say. We have talked about it before in a 50%50% way. I've told her that I was really wondering about us and she says that she has thought of me before like that and that was it. I think about her so much and we have no much in common. But then more drama comes in, I'm ALSO inlove with my ex of 16 months. We broke up of june last month and then in may we started talking again and he treated me exactly the same way we used to. we had phone sex and almost the whole 9 yards. He told me he still liked me but then when it came down to it refused to say he loved me back.My closest friends that I know who have talked to him say that he is totally in love with me. We stopped talking to each other in july because my parents found out about it and got really pissed and made me so uncomfortable that my stomach hurt so bad to the point where I couldnt even eat or take a hot shower.The problem I have with that now is that he is 9 years older than me. It really ticks me off because my parents are 7 years apart and they dont have a problem with it. If you truly love each other age shouldnt matter right?What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chandra Mcmillan  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Hi,
I have to say this first of, I am not a religous person even though I was brought up in a Christian Family (Mum and dad steward and stewardess of church) and I have to say that I beleive religeon can cause its own problems when it comes to relationships,
(this does not mean I advice anyone to turn away from religeon everyone has the right to do as they beleive is right) Back to your problem. Being Bisexual can be a real pin because it is easy to love one of each gender. You will feel strongly about your best friend because she is a part of you, you laugh together, hang out together, possibly sleep in the same bed when at one anothers homes. Even some hetrosexual people find themselves attracted to their best friends, its the bond you gain between one another. I would keep telling people even if just online with out your name that you are Bisexual as some peoples feelings can change (Like me was Bisexual at 14-16 then met a guy and have not thought about girls since, sometimes people go with a girl and never think about guys anymore)You telling your friend or family is your choice and should only be done when you want to do it!
The ex boyfriend you have mentioned and the age gap in my opinion should not make a difference However you are you are young and your parents will be worried that this ex is after one thing and one thing only and as you have alreay had phone sex (dont know if you have done anything in the flesh thats your personal info) but your parents are there to protect you and that is all their trying to do. I have to say I had many boyfriend as a young teen 14-15 who were in their 20's and they were just getting as much from me in bed as they could and then left me because I was nieve and young. I dont want you to make the same mistakes but I can not stop and neither can your parents. I can only say you have to listen to your conciouns and your brain as much as your heart and if you do decide to do anything please please please be careful and dont let him do anthing you are not comfortable with. I have to say this when giving advice to young people. (Plus i beleive and you should think about the fact that if you are under the leagle age and he is over he could be arrested and charged with staturary rape)
I know I have not given you a clear answere this is because when love and feelings are involved there are no true 100% answeres and you have to do as you feel is right.
I hope I have helped. PLease tell us how it all works out
Chandra :)
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