A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. When he's not at work, he's either playing video games, watching sports, or with friends. This has become a problem in our relationship because we barely spend any quality time together. I've been tolerating this for some time now, occasionally telling him how I feel about it and letting him know I feel like he's not spending any time with me and feeling like I come last to everything else. He tries to reassure me that he loves me and things will change, but they never do. I'm always the one who has to initiate any intimacy, dates, etc. He use to be very different. I feel very left out.This has made me seriously re think my future life with him, which really upsets me. And when I try to have a serious talk about it, he will get frustrated and then I'm the one feeling like the bad guy. I want our relationship to work but nothing is changing on his part, what do I do?
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (14 December 2015):
 People in relationships often make the mistake of thinking that they can change someone, or they want to change someone so that they can be their perfect partner. People change because they WANT to, not because someone WANTS them to. He doesn't want to change, its as simple as that.
All you have to decide is if you are willing to continue to put up with him.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 December 2015):
 Get a piece of paper and write a list:
1. Accept he is not going change
2. Decide if you are happy to live like that for the rest of your life, or not
3. If you are happy for this to continue until you are old and grey with one foot in the grave, put the paper and pen away and do nothing else
4. If you are not happy for this to be your lot for the rest of your life, then accept that you need to move away from this toxic relationship and create the sort of life you do want
The reason he gets frustrated when you try to discuss the current situation is because he doesn't have a problem with it. Personally I think your relationship has run its course and it is time for you to get out ........
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 December 2015):
 "He tries to reassure me that he loves me and things will change, but they never do"
Nothing is going to "change" as long as you tolerate his boorish behaviour (not at all like a "boyfriend")....
"...nothing is changing on his part, what do I do?"
You get away from this character and get a boyfriend who gives a darn about you....
Good luck...
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