A
female
age
30-35,
*isspurple
writes:I'm happy in my relationship now but miss my ex, as a person, not who I want to get back with. Is it OK to get back in contact to be friends or not? He's the only other person I've been in love with and after 3 years I still can't get him out of my head. I still care but happy with my current boyfriend of 3 years. Is it OK to still be friends with my ex?
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miss my ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (11 November 2015):
 Hi misspurple. If there is more to the story than what you choose to post then you have to be satisfied with the response you receive. People can only best give advice on the information you have given. In defence of the aunts and uncles I don't think it is fair to be suggesting they are not helpful,rather judgemental. Just saying that's all.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (8 November 2015):
 It's good to be civil when you pass one another in the street or happen to see each other at some event, but seeking him to make contact is unwise.
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A
female
reader, misspurple +, writes (8 November 2015):
misspurple is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt is because I saw him on a night out and he saw me and we didn't speak. We still live in the same town and now and again walk past eachother, I just wanted to say hi. I don't want to leave my current boyfriend as I love him so much and want to be with him for the rest of my life. I just wanted to say hi to my ex but I didn't the other night because I knew it wouldn't be fair. And he didn't speak to me but he stared. You don't know the whole story so please don't judge, you are supposed to be hear to help. Thanks for those who did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2015): Yeah sure. Dump your current boyfriend because you obviously don't love him and get back with your ex.
Pretty simple. You're wasting your boyfriends time. He could find a woman that actually loves him. Go back to your ex and let your boyfriend find a good woman.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 November 2015):
 Hmm..
3 years after the break up you suddenly miss him and want him around as a friend... If I were your BF, I would not be too keen on this and I think you are deluding yourself a bit as to your motives for all of a sudden "want" him back in your life.
He is not a friend you lost contact with, HE IS AN EX.
And like the other aunties pointed out... YOU would hardly like the idea if your BF wanted to reach out to an ex because he MISSED her in his life... would you? Or if one of HIS exes all of a sudden got nostalgic and decided they wanted to "pal around" with YOUR BF.
And let's not forget your ex have probably moved on too and HIS new partner may not be keen on you popping up and proposing "friendship" with HER BF.
Be realistic and use some common sense.
So in a word... No.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2015): Have you talked to your current boyfriend about this?
What does he say?
I don't think this is fair to your current boyfriend.
I wouldn't be comfortable if my boyfriend wanted to "be friends" with his ex-girlfriend. He was deeply in love with her.
In fact, I would get myself a new boyfriend if my current boyfriend wanted to stay in contact with his ex-girlfriend.
Tread lightly. You might become an ex-girlfriend and be left out in the cold.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (7 November 2015):
no
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (7 November 2015):
What would you think if your current boyfriend felt the same way about his ex and decided to get in touch with her?
We receive so many posts about this scenario that I can't believe people can still delude themselves into believing any good will come of it.
I think it's time to put a period and move on. Your ex is an ex. Enjoy the memories and don't complicate life.
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A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji +, writes (7 November 2015):
 I think the answer is simple, if your boyfriend was in your predicament, would you want him to be in contact with his ex? From there make your decision. But do not go forward with contacting your ex if you do without telling your boyfriend. It will make a dent in your relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2015): Never look back. How you see things may be very different to how your ex does. It will probably not be nice and rosy if you dig him up. Let sleeping dogs lie.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (7 November 2015):
 He is the only other person you have been in love with, and you can't get him out of your head?
Sounds like you are still hankering for him to me, and as more than a friend, leave the past in the past, and concentrate on the relationship you have now.
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