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... Send *rtemesian a private message | | | *rtemesian's profile:I don't know if anyone's every really "qualified" to give advice to anyone else as everyone is different in their own ways. But what drew me here is my caring nature (people close to me all say that and my rational sense of mind are some of my best features, I'm not just saying it :P ), I would just like to help others out that are seeking it, if I can offer any helpful words then I'm glad to have helped them even in the smallest way. And if I come across bumps in my own life/relationship then I'd love to get help in return.
I've studied 2 years of a Bachelor of Nursing but right now I am doing community care work with the elderly. It's tiring but rewarding!
So if you're wanting someone to give an opinion, advise, or just someone to chat with I'm very happy to be that someone : ) |
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He wants visitation but does not want to pay back child support.Does the father pay in these circumstances?
Q. My ex found out that a child I had a year ago may be his. He had a paternity test and my son is his. However, he knew I was pregnant with his kid but I told him I had a miscarriage early on. He saw me a month before I was due and asked about my bell...
A. 13 August 2011: Well, it's clear none of us can understand the situation fully as it's only a brief description. But to me what is certain is you need to see a lawyer competent in this arena but also one who is a woman as I don't think men will have the same ... (read in full...)
I miss him sooo much, what do I do, I have a very strong urge to be with him.
Q. I was having sex with a guy on and off over 4 years (when it all started I was 18 and he was 37) I put a stop to it simply because it was harder to get away and travel the 1 and a half hours to be with him, (we both had partners and still do) Thing ...
A. 23 November 2007: I can understand how you feel!
From my own experience it sounds like you miss him for the sex you enjoyed and the company of an older guy? But not passionate love, especially if you are still with your partner - you must love him to have stayed w... (read in full...)
I don't have very much pubic hair, will this freak guys out?
Q. Hi. I'm a fifteen year old girl. I was just wondering, I don't have very much pubic hair. Will guys get freaked out when they finger me? Or when they do any sexual activity with me?...
A. 24 August 2007: I doubt it! You're a bit young though to be worrying about that - especially if you feel the need to ask a question like that. Wait till you are comfortable with yourself and how you feel about it all, rushing into sex is the worst thing you can do ... (read in full...)
What is the best and safest way to start dating?
Q. i have a dating dilemma i 26 years old and i have decided to start dating . should i try on line dating or go to a matchmaking service in my city ? which is safer and are they good ?...
A. 3 August 2007: I'd be looking in all the places you can think of! Meeting through friends, activities, work and other things like that is a great way to meet people. Online is also, in fact a lot of people now (myself included!) feel its the best way as you have ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to ask her to marry me?
Q. i have been dating my girlfriend for a little more than six months.we both love each other and get along great,and have so much in common.i want to ask her to marry me but is this to soon....
A. 3 August 2007: 6 months is long enough to get to know someone reasonably well..some couples need a lifetime while others feel only a few months is enough. You're the only one who can know whether asking her now is too early or not. If you are both in love and very ... (read in full...)
We broke up, but I still really think we have a chance!
Q. My partner of 2 1/2 years left me unexpectedly... So i'm just writing this as i have been reading through other peoples questions and i can see i relate to alot of them right now, Me and my ex partner were like ying and yang or two peas in a po...
A. 2 August 2007: Hey Sarah I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation...from what you have said it really sounds like he is under a lot of stress at the moment and your relationship being stressful as well towards the end wouldn't have helped! The fact he is not o... (read in full...)
I have had sex 10 times, but have not had an orgasm
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for 1 1/8 and have an great relationship except sex. We have had sex over 10 times and neither have i had an orgrasm but he has them...the last time we had sex my boyfriend just kept trying to make me have an ...
A. 2 August 2007: Hi there You have nothing to worry about! In fact you are more "normal" than girls your age who do orgasm from just sex. About 60-70% of women can't come (or haven't) from just sex, not everyone can do it. But some things do help to make it happen. ... (read in full...)
I know I am fat, but why cant I get a boyfriend?
Q. fat girl needing a man to date but why none have asked me ? i am a 24 year old fat woman who has had two problems most of her life not having guys ask me out and my weight by trying to loose it even though i gain more . it is bugging me . i tried ...
A. 2 August 2007: Hi there Being fat doesn't mean you aren't worthy or can't have a great relationship with someone. I'm definitely not a thin person myself yet I have had boyfriends and am currently in a wonderful relationship - how you look isn't everythi... (read in full...)
How can I tell my fiancee's parents that he hits me?
Q. How can I approach my fiancee's parents (with discretion) by letting them know that he hits me at times when I disagree and or just have my opinion towards some topic. I'm afraid of talking to them because they would think Im just lying since...
A. 30 July 2007: He has no right to be abusing you like this, no matter what you are saying or doing at the time. Talking to his parents might help but it really sounds like you need to seek out help from professionals who are knowledgeable and experienced in the ... (read in full...)
She's suddenly scared to do the things we've been doing instead of sex and I'm displeased
Q. hey, im 15 years old and me and my girl friend have been doing allot of things except for sex. and now all of a sudden she is scared to do everything else (stuff we even did before ex: anal) now im always feeling unpleased and depressed because she ...
A. 23 July 2007: It sounds like you really need to talk with her about what she is feeling without pushing your own wants onto her. Maybe there are things you don't know about that could be influencing her change. Basically nothing good will happen if you just ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Moderators needed!
Q. Hi, with the site getting busier all the time I'm looking for new volunteer moderators... PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY BEFORE RESPONDING -- many moderators drop out after just a couple of weeks so if you're not committed please don't apply! ...
A. 23 July 2007: I'd love to become a moderator as I think this is a great resource for people seeking support and answers and I'd be honoured to become a part of it. Being an Aussie, well a good grasp of proper English just comes naturally ; ) I log in daily, ... (read in full...)
His medical problem makes sex extremely painful! I adore him, but I'm sexually frustrated!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for about 10 months and care deeply about him and feel like i know him inside out, as he does with me. as a boyfriend, he is faultless - never cheats, he takes me out, buys me things, phones me daily and constantly tells ...
A. 17 July 2007: Sounds like he really needs to see more doctors about what can be done - that sort of thing is meant to be fixable. Maybe he is shy about seeing more doctors about it, you could offer to go along with him. The main thing though is to enjoy what you ... (read in full...)
I'm hurt my boyfriend doesn't seem to care that I can't get an erection
Q. I recently started taking medication to halt the loss of hair on my head and prevent me from going bald. I ended up suffering just about all possible side effects, which included decrease in sex drive and inability to get an erection. I told my ...
A. 27 June 2007: Hi! Just want to say first nice to see another aussie on here : )
His reaction to your problem does sound odd, but it does make me question maybe he has some issues going on? If he doesn't seem to mind you not wanting/being able to have sex then... (read in full...)
We broke up and he's taunting me but I'm still not over him
Q. I was in a three year relationship and I'm having a really hard time getting over him. I honestly think about him everyday and I can't help but feel lonely without him. I go out with friends but all I can think about is him. He left me for another ...
A. 23 June 2007: You're obviously a really loving and nice person to still even feel that way about someone who doesn't deserve a single thought from you considering his actions. You won't have any trouble finding yourself a new boyfriend who is worthy of your love ... (read in full...)
He's been with someone else the whole 5 years I've been with him. Should I stay with someone who has lied to me all this time?
Q. Well im a 26 year old who was with someone who is 39 and we've known each other for about 5 years. we have been together 3 years and i recently got a phone call from a woman who told me they have been together for 9 years. He admitted they were ...
A. 23 June 2007: How can you ever trust him if he managed to cover up such a big lie for so many years? If you can have a happy relationship not trusting him then...but evidently you can't so there isn't much else to say really than to move on and find someone who ... (read in full...)
How can I be a proper ladies' man?
Q. Gud day readers! Im 23 but I had only experienced having a girlfriend twice in the past and it started when i was 20. I won the hearts of both of these women way too easily. I never worked hard to win them nor did anything to impress them. I'...
A. 23 June 2007: You can't just adopt qualities women like if they aren't a part of who you really are - although it doesn't sound like you have had trouble attracting women in the past so it really doesn't sound like you have much to worry about.... (read in full...)
He used to be so controlling, now I think I'm becoming the same way
Q. Boyfriend is going clubbing....i'm stuck at home. I was wondering if someone could give me some advice please. I have been with my bf for about 7 months. He use to be quite controlling and wouldn't let me speak to my mates let alone see them, ...
A. 22 June 2007: It's pretty simple really - if he can go out whenever he feels like it with his friends why can't you see yours? Thats double standards on his part and much to controlling over you. If he feels threatened by your friends in some way (like they might ... (read in full...)
My husband was seeing prostitutes while I was pregnant, has been searching for women to date online and is always bad tempered since the birth of my baby. Should I leave him?
Q. Hello, I have been married for 4 years, and together with my husband for the past 7, and I gave birth to our baby boy last September. My husband has been unable or unwilling to have sex with me for the past 3 years on and off, and since I was 8 we...
A. 22 June 2007: You are worth more than this. If you are single it means you can find yourself another man who is worth giving the time of day to - and you can focus on your precious child who is innocent in all of this and needs a better home than the one around ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be uncircumcised?
Q. I havent been circumsized. is this normal? I'm 15. kinda makes me think it is the problem why I don't hve confidence to have a gf. Help!...
A. 22 June 2007: In the US it is more common for males to be circumcised, but that isn't the case in every Western country - Europe is quite the opposite. It is how you are born so don't be ashamed of it, most girls don't care either way as it makes no difference ... (read in full...)
He shows me no affection; I have to ask for cuddles!
Q. Thank you for your help but I have more to add. My parents are both loving and although sometimes cringeworthy, they act like love sick teenages and they have been together for 33 years. I have longed for someone to be silly like that with me but ...
A. 22 June 2007: I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling loved by your partner. Honestly from what you have said it doesn't sound very promising..everyone is different of course but to have such an aversion to doing something to make you feel happy and loved, well what ... (read in full...)
He's determined to start smoking again even though it makes me ill
Q. The last time i wrote,it was about my boyfriends unfair parents. evrything got sorted out at the end, thankyou for helping me!But as usual my life cant be simple... After a year he wants to start smoking! Now i'v written to you guys before about ho...
A. 22 June 2007: I feel for you in this position as I am in a similar one myself... What it comes down to is cigarettes or you - and honestly if he loves you then cigarettes won't win, on the other hand if they do then as upsetting as it may be he obviously isn't ... (read in full...)
I'm gay and I want to be with my straight best friend
Q. To me this problem seems stupidly complicated but I think I just need some perspective. I am a 21 year old gay guy. I have avoided relationships so far, as I have ridiculously high ideals about commitment and intimacy which aren't matched generall...
A. 22 June 2007: I'm sorry to hear about your difficult situation... from what you have said it really sounds like you have two options - to continue on as it is (which doesn't sound like much of one based on how you feel) or to come out and tell him that you are ... (read in full...)
I keep finding faults with my girlfriends
Q. Dear Cupid, In a relationship with current gf for 4 months -dont know whether i'm attracted to her or not...she carrys some weight and i'm not comfortable with that as i'm rather thin and keep fit ...it seems i always find fault with the women i...
A. 22 June 2007: Often when we criticize others it's due to things in them we see that remind us of ourselves that we don't like or things you would hate to see in yourself. Being too picky about women makes things hard so maybe you settle for someone you don't ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm too young to have sex with him
Q. hiya im 14 years old i have a boy friend, I trust him with all my heart He Asked me the other day " do i want sex ? " I sed " I dont know i sed ill tel u wen im ready to " but i think i am but im ready to but im scared that i am to young .. wh...
A. 22 June 2007: If you have any doubt that you're ready then you aren't ready! It's pretty simple really, if you jump into it with him you will most likely regret it later as you are still very young to be entering into sex - the act itself is only the start of it ... (read in full...)
16 next week and worried my girlfriend wants to have sex... how can I say no gently!?
Q. Hi Me and my girlfreind have been going out for 5 months now and its my 16th birthday next week. I am really worrid that she wants to have sex however I dont. She has been hinting at this for a while and I have been joking it off. how can i turn h...
A. 22 June 2007: Maybe she wants it to be closer to you and to secure the relationship? Maybe she is feeling insecure about how you two stand and thinks it might tie you together more? Maybe that is the case or it might not but from a woman's perspective it sounds ... (read in full...)
How do I make moves on the girls during this summer of love??
Q. Ok, so here's my situation. I'm 18, I haven't gotten any in ages and am fed up to the back teeth of it! Last time was 18 months ago...not that I've been counting or anything. Basically, I'm looking for a bit of advice of picking girls up. I fe...
A. 22 June 2007: Your problem is that you are obviously not attuned to what a lot of girls want - and that is more than just being used for a night by someone who just cares about getting laid. If you want to use em and leave them in a night then you're really going ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to get rid of the baby
Q. I'm 20 years old and a couple of days ago I found out I was pregnant. I told my bf of 3 years and he was ok at first and then this morning he said he wants nothing to do with the baby or me and I haven't told my family yet cause I'm scared of what ...
A. 20 June 2007: I'm sorry to hear of your predicament - it's understandable your boyfriend doesn't want to have a child (presuming he is of a similar age to you, you can't blame him for wanting to end the issue) however he should be more supportive of you - it may ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and never been kissed or had a bf! Any advice?
Q. Hi, im 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend nor been kissed...I keep telling myself its God's will or that the time will come. Yet I really dont understand. I dont think its my looks since people keep telling me im good looking (and i mean ...
A. 20 June 2007: Sounds like you might just be a bit shy or bashful around guys? Not that confident? You have nothing to be worried about if people come up to you and saw how pretty you are! If you lack confidence, maybe try meeting guys through friends, or go out ... (read in full...)
She got pregnant on purpose but he left her anyways! How do I advise her on what the best thing is, to do?
Q. This is kind of a weird question but here it goes. One of my great friends was with this guy for about 3 months. He told her from the beginning that he didn't want anything serious with her and she was ok with that at first. Well she ended up slowly ...
A. 20 June 2007: Wow, what a situation. But really you are a great friend, it's obvious you really care about her and want to help. I think there is a lot to be said for tough love when it comes to drastic situations - she needs sound advice that is best for her ... (read in full...)
I want to make a boy notice me
Q. i want a boy to relieze im alive! HOW DO I ACCOMPLISH THAT? show some girl her love and respond!!!!!!!!!!!...
A. 20 June 2007: Irish really summed it up! If you find it hard starting a conversation try and break the ice with a joke, maybe at your own expense (in a lighthearted way) as people who can laugh at themselves can appear much more grounded, fun loving and humorous ... (read in full...)
So many problems in this relationship. Trust, his family and I'm not seeing him enough! What can I do? I love him!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been in this relationship for five years. Last year I found out that he cheated on me. When I asked about it he lied then he came clean. The thing is he said that he dont feel like he is making me happy in bed. We use t...
A. 20 June 2007: Melanne raised some very good points! If you think he might cheat on you again, then he isn't worthy of you. No one deserves to be cheated on and making bad excuses like he has been doesn't mean he's free of blame. If his family doesn't accept you ... (read in full...)
I have such ugly teeth I dont want to smile
Q. I have really ugly teeth. People call me elephant girl bc they look like tusks. it really hurts me inside. and i really like this guy derrick but he makes fun of me too even though he has like the hairiest legs ever so he shouldnt be talking. should ...
A. 20 June 2007: Going to a good orthodontist would fix your teeth gradually and would be well worth it in the end if it affects your confidence so much. But the people teasing you aren't worth your worry, everyone has something bad about them whether its inside or ... (read in full...)
Do you think she's just accepted because I asked her 3 times?
Q. there is this girl i fancied for over 7 months now. she is gorgeous! i was scared to make a move because she was much better lookin than me. i asked this girl to cinema, she twice made excuse of bein busy. but out of the blue today she wanted t...
A. 20 June 2007: It's hard to say really but honestly analysing it a lot and worrying won't help at all. Try and be friendly and just be yourself, girls love confidence and personality, so let yours shine through by not worrying over everything. After all she is ... (read in full...)
Is it considered slutty to sleep with someone a week into a relationship when one of them is a virgin?
Q. I need peoples opinions here... Do u think its slutty to sleep with someone a week into the relationship, if one of the people are virgins? ....If yes what do you think is an apropriate amount of time to wait?...
A. 20 June 2007: It's all about whats right for you. If you value your virginity then make him wait - like people have been saying it will only ensure he is the right one to be sleeping with and make it all the more fun if you do end up doing it. A lot of people ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I am gay and how can I become straight again?
Q. I am so worried. I think, I really do not know, but I think that I might be gay. It scares the hell out of me, I don't want to be gay!! I've got a girlfriend and I love her but I am so confused. I cannot talk to ANYONE about this. How can I become s...
A. 20 June 2007: I think you have some very good answers here so far. Our society has had so many constraints telling us how we can and can't be and what is right or wrong when it comes to sexuality. But nothing is black and white like that - there is always all ... (read in full...)
I am only 11, but I am two months pregant!
Q. (ok my original profile thing iz batman but i did something and made a new profile) alright well i am 11 and now 2 monthes pregnant! im really scared cuz me and my boyfriend r both ganna need to take care of this child 2gether and im still liv...
A. 20 June 2007: It makes me feel sad reading your latest response... your boyfriend does not matter here, not when it comes to your life and happiness, if he gets upset at the idea of you having an abortion thats his problem, not yours, as this is your life it will ... (read in full...)
I have a fairytale, perfect life. But not the man of my dreams to complete! What can I do?
Q. im 21 years old i have got the job of my dreams and soon to be having my own little cottage, but the only thing im missing is the man of my dreams.. sometimes i think is that just it a dream, i know which type of partner ide like but no one seems to ...
A. 20 June 2007: It's true that we meet the men wee seek when we least suspect it or aren't looking. It sounds hard to not think about it and just live your normal life but thats the best thing to do - going out a lot or making a big effort trying to find someone ... (read in full...)
I am a 12 year old girl and I really want to have sex with my boyfriend who is 14. Should I do it with him?
Q. I am a 12 year old girl and I really want to have sex with my boyfriend who is 14. He wants me to come over to night and have sex with him. Should I do it with him?...
A. 20 June 2007: Having sex is a big step, that is having responsible sex where you take precautions against diseases and pregnancy, as well as being emotionally ready to share your body with someone else. Age may only be a number but it is a good indication of ... (read in full...)
I want to adopt a baby
Q. help please: trying for a baby for ages but looking to adopt. help us if you can. hi im 20 will be 21 in october me and my partner who i have been with nearly 5 years have been trying for a baby for nearly 2 years we are looking to adopt ...
A. 19 June 2007: hey I'm happy to help you out if I can with any advice I can think of : ) I just want to say though first I'm the same age as you and honestly having a kid now would be crazy for myself (thats me though) cause of not being set up like owning a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has never had an orgasm while we're having sex
Q. hi im joshua19 i have a girlfriend, we have sex often but everytime she never has an orgasm and i feel horrible cause i want that for her. what are some tips that anyone can provide for me to help my situation ...
A. 19 June 2007: Hey I have the same problem as your girlfriend, I always had trouble having an orgasm from plain sex without other stimulation, it's actually very usual in women, over half of women don't come from sex. But there are ways to help try and make it ... (read in full...)
I am only 11, but I am two months pregant!
Q. (ok my original profile thing iz batman but i did something and made a new profile) alright well i am 11 and now 2 monthes pregnant! im really scared cuz me and my boyfriend r both ganna need to take care of this child 2gether and im still liv...
A. 19 June 2007: I just wanted to say a few other things (I'm really concerned for you!) Reading your posts..you really are so young, youre hardly even a teenager yet, and even teenagers aren't meant to be mums yet! (Not in our society, where emotional and financial ... (read in full...)
I am only 11, but I am two months pregant!
Q. (ok my original profile thing iz batman but i did something and made a new profile) alright well i am 11 and now 2 monthes pregnant! im really scared cuz me and my boyfriend r both ganna need to take care of this child 2gether and im still liv...
A. 19 June 2007: I just want to say that you're very brave coming on here at your age seeking help! I've studied nursing/anatomy/reproduction at uni and honestly... you are much too young to have a child, and I mean physically. It would be a very dangerous, long and ... (read in full...)
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