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female
age
30-35,
*sk and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best)
writes: The last time i wrote,it was about my boyfriends unfair parents. evrything got sorted out at the end, thankyou for helping me!But as usual my life cant be simple...After a year he wants to start smoking! Now i'v written to you guys before about how much i hate cigarettes-im allergic to them,and he knows this! But yet he doesnt care and stil wants to start smoking! Even after a year and 3 months of quitting he cant take it anymore and wants to give in to the temptation...Again!I dont know what to do,i told him if i smell it in his breath or on his clothes ill get sick!-so i wont be able to kiss him or even hug him!But he STILL wants to try and see how it works out,even though i tried convincing him out if it for his own health! I dont want to tell him to stop,cos i dont want to b controlling but i cant take it if he starts smokin regularly!And i have a feeling that we will eventually breakup cos i cant stand being around him if he'd constantly stink of cigarettes!I dont know if i should talk to him again...i can't stand his smoking,what could i do??Please Help me Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) +, writes (26 June 2007):
Ask and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best) is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok everything didn't go as i'd hoped,but we did come to a middle ground. That for my sake he won't smoke around me or anywhere near me,and if he's gonna see me later in the day he won't smoke that day so i won't smell it in his breath.On the whole i imagined it to end up much worse if i didnt listen to those of you who helped me,and u really did.I showed him your answers and he was impressed of how selfish he was coming across to others.Thankyou very much guys!You're the best! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, NuVu  +, writes (22 June 2007):
It sounds like he just wants to do what he wants to do regardless of your feelings about it. Today it's smoking, what will it be tomorrow? I'm not sure how deep or long your relationships been, but off hand i would say move on. If he's gonna be insensitive about your feelings on this, than he'll probably do it again and again, if he hasn't done so already. I would move on. Perhaps once he sees that you're serious about not wanting to be with a smoker, he might reconsider and try to win you back.
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A
female
reader, Artemesian  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 I feel for you in this position as I am in a similar one myself... What it comes down to is cigarettes or you - and honestly if he loves you then cigarettes won't win, on the other hand if they do then as upsetting as it may be he obviously isn't for you if he isn't prepared to not do something that makes you ill. I understand you don't want to say "no" to him about them, but I'd explain it very clearly (although it sounds like you have already?) to him that if he smokes it will make you physically ill and intimacy with him will be greatly decreased. If he picks up the dirty habit again despite your words of warning, let him see the consequences of his actions (providing it doesn't endanger your health). Not being able to kiss or hug you and that sort of stuff will really draw a line between having you or smoking. And really he'd have to be a damn fool to pick smoking and doesn't deserve you if he does.
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