A
female
age
26-29,
*atman2
writes:(ok my original profile thing iz batman but i did something and made a new profile) alright well i am 11 and now 2 monthes pregnant! im really scared cuz me and my boyfriend r both ganna need to take care of this child 2gether and im still living with my boyfriend,his mom,and his little sister but his mom and dad live in different houses and his mom has to go to work and me and him have school (but not right now cuz school iz still out 4 summer)and when the baby iz born babies cry in the middle of the night or whatevr and im a hard sleeper-i can sleep through anything enless its daylight and i had to quit something i luv(my all-stars softball team)me and my boyfriend got into a big arguement cuz i wuz tinking about giving up the baby so any ideas,tips,or advice cuz me or the baby cud die at the birth or i cud lose the baby before the birth and i really don't want to give up the baby and i don't want the baby to die but im not sure i ant the baby anymore so again any tips,advice, or ideas about any of this??? plez give an answer if u can!!! luv batman AKA mickey Reply to this Question
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female
reader, moniquexoxo12  +, writes (29 June 2009):
wow...im 15 and going to have ababy im shit scared but m still going to have my baby..but your 11 and im still with my boyfriend who's 18 and he has a job and so do i we also have alittle house together.you cant even get a job at the age of 11 or your boyfirnd and just think your going to make that poor mother take care of all of you thats not fair i really think you should think throughs cause its not only hard for you it going to be hard for everyone..thats in you life and that poor mother..plus your still a baby and you should be planing sleepovers and having fun with friends what ever you do...is up to you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): to batman you need to go to school and get an education, you don't even know how to spell. But i suggest you go to planned parethood and get some advice on what you should do about this. You can also consider giving your child up for adoption, that might be the smartest choice you have at this point, you are a child yourself.
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female
reader, Dojha  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 hi batman,
i know a lot of other people may be dicouraging you from wanting to keep this baby and I agree that it may be risky for you cos of ur age but rather than go through normal labour, why not ask your doctor if a sicerian is a possibility for you so that you dont risk too much.
and since your boyfriend's mom is willing to 'help you with everything' i suggest you dont worry about anyting else and focus on raising dat child with your boyfriend's help and his family. you've got their support. that's all u need.
tk cr hun,
dojha
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male
reader, joshua19 +, writes (21 June 2007):
 wow i really like you you show what humans are all about i mean i would love it if my G/F would reconsider and have a baby with me but now she wants to wait till we are both stable but i mean your age do you not relize that you or your botfriend neither one are old enough to get a job how do you two plan on taking care of this baby i want one but i'm 19 and in college and also have a highschool diploma but on top of that i have a job making enough money to support a kid and my girl and not only that my girl is 17 and about to graduate highschool herself we wouldn't have any worries but the baby but hey dont let me discourage you i really believe in you i give you the best of luck and whatever you do dont abort the baby it doesn't deserve it you two had sex you two take care of that baby its yours and if you need help mail me i will be happy to help you and your B/F ok hope i could be of some help to you
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): You are still a baby yourself love.You need to go to a doctor ASAP and find out if you and the baby will manage this I'm 20 and scared of having a baby i can't imgaine what you going through and you also need to sit down and talk to the mother who is looking after you cause you can't hide this for long and it's better if they no about it so if anything does go wrong they will no how to handle the situation.And you have to sit and think through this don't listen to all you bf has to say cause this is your life you have to educate yourself and live your life being a mother is a big responsiblity you should really think this through before you do something you would regret.
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female
reader, babydoll0713 +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Wow, I honestly don't think you guys have thought this through. No matter how old you are it's still difficult raising a child, and that's with having a family, a college education, good paying job, and a home. At 11 you don't have anything. Maybe abortion isn't for you but you NEED to go to a Dr and see what he has to say. Make sure there are no major medical risks for having a baby at 11 and don't wait because if you find out something it could be too late. You have your whole life ahead of you, really stop and think about this. Take a moment away from your boyfriend and weigh your options. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): You seem to be listening to your boyfriend and what he wants. My dear, he doesn't know what he is talking about in saying he doesn't want you to have an abortion!! Is he prepared to be around for the next 20 years to help you raise the baby? Not likely!
It will be more probably his mother who is saddled with that responsibility. You are both children and in no position to make an informed, rational, mature decision.
I do realize you don't WANT to have an abortion. I agree with Artemesian when she urges you to see a doctor to decide whether it would even be safe for you physically and emotionally to go through with pregnancy and birth. Perhaps you WOULD be okay, but you really must put your own health and well-being FIRST.
It is YOUR body, and your boyfriend has no say-so in what you decide!
As for the posters who are telling you to have and keep the baby - well, that's bad advice, too.
GO SEE THE DOCTOR AND BE GUIDED BY HIS/HER ADVICE!!
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female
reader, Artemesian  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 It makes me feel sad reading your latest response... your boyfriend does not matter here, not when it comes to your life and happiness, if he gets upset at the idea of you having an abortion thats his problem, not yours, as this is your life it will ruin not his. He is being incredibly selfish being like that and it is a very strong indication he is not ready to be a father at all. PLEASE just go to a doctor and talk with them about the options you have (and I don't mean just abortion, they can help you understand what will be ahead of you if you keep it) No one on here can make the right decision but you, but please listen to what rational people are saying to you - those who are encouraging you to keep it and wishing you luck with it obviously don't care much about your wellbeing. I don't think there is much more to say here except, go to the doctor! Please!
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reader, kierra +, writes (19 June 2007):
why did you do it you should not be mad at anyone but you.and you lost your life for 30min. of fun.
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female
reader, love-him +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Hia babii that is a great idea, and i wish you all the luck in the world.. make sure you provide a loving and caring home for your baby and make sure you have a loving relationship so that it is healthy for the baby to be brought up into it.. I wish you all the luck in the world x x x x x
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reader, batman2 +, writes (19 June 2007):
batman2 is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok thats it I'M KEEPING THE BABY i might seem stupid cuz ya'll think that i can't do this or im too younge but i REALLY don't want to have an abortion i wudn't be able to live with myself if i did that i won't have an empty concious me and my boyfriend have already decided that we want the baby! and if i haven't said it before ill say it now my boyfriend iz really pissed at me cuz i considered having an abortion or giving it up he won't even talk to me except if i talk about the baby he talk to me 4 hours but anything else and he won't say nothing
IM KEEPING THE BABY
michaela aka mickey aka batman
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): Again, I agree with Artemesian, she speaks the truth and she makes rational sense....it is not wrong to have an abortion, especially at your unfortuneate age...the mother in my opinion should come first, it is a religous belief that states otherwise, and is not based in what is best for all concerned, and that is what I truly believe. It is not religous people that I hate, it is hypocrites, and you are not one if you decide to do the responsible thing and value your own life, you made a mistake, but this unborn child does not have to pay for the consequences and neither do you. The fortunate thing about living in the 22nd century is that you do not have to be a slave to your own biology, you can chose to abort and live with a clear conscious, in that you will learn from this mistake you made as a mere child and not repeat this as an adult.
Please see your doctor immediately!
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female
reader, Artemesian +, writes (19 June 2007):
I just wanted to say a few other things (I'm really concerned for you!) Reading your posts..you really are so young, youre hardly even a teenager yet, and even teenagers aren't meant to be mums yet! (Not in our society, where emotional and financial maturity isn't developed till much later on). If you went through with this pregnancy and survived the birth and not sustain any damage to yourself from it (and that's a big if) how would you feel for the rest of your life knowing your child is out there somewhere? You obviously can't care for it yourself, and certainly not your boyfriend. Please go to a good doctor who will help you through this time with proper medical advice. An abortion is not killing - killing is terminating a conscious life (a 2 month old fetus is not a person with feelings or emotions, it does not have a mind yet) it is a beautiful thing and I'm sure you love it, and if you truly do you will know that an abortion is the best thing for it and for you. There is plenty of help out there for afterwards, so you can get back on track and start your life the way it's meant to be lived with happiness, laughter and plenty of care-free times as a teenager with no responsibilities! Putting your age aside, you aren't ready to be a mum, if you can't handle using a simple thing like contraception it would truly be a terrible thing to try and be a mum.... motherhood is the best thing in a woman's life if it suits her - but you aren't ready for it, please see a doctor and talk to your parents. They might be mad but they will want to help you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): I agree with Artemesian, I think she has some very valid points....I am worried too for your safety and health if you decided to try and carry this baby, I am not a doctor, and I think you should get the sound advice of a doctor to help you make an educated well informed decision....
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reader, Artemesian +, writes (19 June 2007):
I just want to say that you're very brave coming on here at your age seeking help! I've studied nursing/anatomy/reproduction at uni and honestly... you are much too young to have a child, and I mean physically. It would be a very dangerous, long and traumatic ordeal for you (I'm sorry if this upsets you but I think you need to hear some plain truths, not pretty answers that don't really help) Whether or not you kept the child is another matter - what kind of life could you provide for it? How would it change your life? Don't forget that YOU are the most important person in this matter, the embroyo growing inside you isn't - no matter what your religious or personal beliefs are. This is your choice as a modern woman : ) Getting rid of it would be the most sensible and in the long term much less upsetting (at your age you cannot support a child, how would you feel having your child taken away from you and raised by other people?) And most importantly like I said first, the birth is much to risky and could pose a serious threat to your health and wellbeing. I really hope you think things over thoroughly, and remember that its your decision, not anybody else's! A lot of sites on the internet glamorize teenage pregnancy and promote going through with it as they are motivated by religion etc, you should form your own choice based on facts (like how having a child at such a young age will affect your life), don't be fooled by organisations or people that promote keeping it while it's your life it will be changing and putting at great risk.
I hope you have found this helpful in some way, and I truly wish you the best of luck in whatever path you take. xo
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female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (18 June 2007):
 oh hunny. well its ur choice bout losing it but ur pregent well im glad that u didn't want to give up up but u can have some1 adopt the baby maybe not in ur family as u said u hate them nd they h8 u but do u no how had its going to be u have u bf have just giving up the rest of ur life parents never stop its kids first all the time no going out all ur friends will never talk to u even thou they say they will.buts ur guys choice and i hope u no wot u r doing and dw im not judging girls r havin sex young now its not common and ood luck xxx
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reader, love-him +, writes (18 June 2007):
Hia babii just read wat u put and honestly you were having sex at age 7-8, my brother is 6 and i know full well he doesnt know about it.. but seriously i find that really bad.. i honestly do.. its not something to be proud of.. nah honestly i think you should get some help, i can compromise on 11 but not a 7 year old. my mum is here also reading it and she agrees with me.. get some help babii
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reader, dirtypirate +, writes (18 June 2007):
 maybe your parents or maybe an aunt or unce older cuzin could adopt the baby so u can keep iit in the family. lots of people have dun that .
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reader, batman2 +, writes (18 June 2007):
batman2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy boyfriend iz 12 he will be 13 in October ill be 12 in January and my parents won't talk to me and i hate their guts but oh well, my boyfriends mom said (when me and my boyfriend told her)that she wuz VERY disappointed but she really wants to help us with everything! when i told my boyfriend that i kinda wanted to give it up 4 adoption he said he wud adopt it cuz he don't want it to be taken all the way around the world 4 all he nos and the adoptive parents cud be really mean and beat the child or they cud just be really horrible parents to the poor baby!!!!!and it might be the adult thing to do but just to remind u i am NOT an ADULT!!!!! and just to let u no i had sex at 7-8 the reason i new how to have sex at that age well let me tell u a little poem "mommy i been a whachin u,it looked so cool, now i got a baby and its all cuz of u, cuz i wanted to go out and try it and be so cool!!!" that iz how it got started!!!!!! frenched kissed at 9.and the bad thing iz my boyfriend iz really the only boyfriend ive ever had that i actually kissed on the lips!!! if i do give my baby up i still want to be apart of its life!!! i will luv this baby!okay when i told my boyfriend that i wuz thinking of giving the baby up he wudn't talk to me he won't talk to me about anything except when i mension the baby he'll talk to me 4 hours but anything other then the baby he won't say a word!!!and killing a baby like that-having an abortion-SO WRONG
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Well, you are in a pickle and no mistake! I am not judging you when I too say you are FAR too young to be having sex!! The "legal" age is 16. Not that you should rush into sex even then!
Where are YOUR parents? You need to talk to them and/or a responsible adult, and/or your doctor, immediately!
My advice would be to get an abortion, pronto. Not something you WANT to do, but your body is not physically mature enough to handle pregnancy and birth at such a young age, and you are CERTAINLY not emotionally ready to handle having a baby! I know if you terminate your pregnancy you will feel bad about doing so, and guilty and will need counselling to help you come to terms with it. But I really believe it is the lesser of two evils, in your case.
Doing so will give you a chance to start over, without the burden of a baby. Whatever you do, make the most of such a "clean start" and do not allow yourself to get into this mess again! Sorry, but I have to call it as I see it. Reality is hard at times.
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female
reader, katrinadeon +, writes (18 June 2007):
 you must be going through a really tough time. i dont think its right that people are saying you should put the baby up for adoption, ( although it is a very good option if thats what you want) because you have to think of the future. nobody knows how giving your child up for adoption will affect you, maybe in a few years time you will regret it so much u may become depressed but it could just as easy be the other way round you could keep your baby and become very emotionally upset.. do you see what im saying nobody really knows YOU apart from yourself, so what people put as good advice could be very damaging to you. everybody is different. what i will say though is that when theres a will there is definitely a way. if u want to keep your child and bring it up as your own ( you may find that people will say take the role as the sister not the mother let the boyf mum raise it as hers) then stick up for yourself, you can still get an education with a baby but its a lot harder. having a baby isnt the end of your life, its the beginning of a new one. dont let anyone bully you into something you dont feel is right. you may be very young but if you carry on being strong enough to go through pregnancy and childbirth then i am sure you will be strong enough to be a good mum. parenting takes over all of your life, emotionally, physically and mentally but just because you are 11 doesnt mean you should not have the chance to be with your child. after all whats done is done. age is a number, maturity is a way of thinking.
always put your babies wellbeing first
take care of yourself
if you ever want to chat then send me a private message.
hope all goes well
katrina xx
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reader, mum2be +, writes (18 June 2007):
aww sweetie... i was first pregnant when i was as young as you, and i have just had a baby 8 weeks ago...(I am 16 now) I could not tell you what to do as it is your desicion, but i think you should definately talk to someone... soon.
Tell your bf how you are feeling, he needs to know.
All the best with what ever you decide to do
xxxxx
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reader, love-him +, writes (18 June 2007):
Hia babii, im not gonna tell u you shouldnt have had sex, because whats done has been done. Babii wheres your parents, you dont mention them? There have been people given birth at 11 but they have always had their parents around.. You need to talk to your boyfriends mum.. Make sure she is happy with you bringing in a child to the house.. If you are sure you dont want to lose the child ( i dont blame you ) then make sure you have lots of support of your boyfriend and his family.. And try and get back into touch with yours.. Take care babii, and mail me pls 2 let me know how you get on =] x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Hi ya mickey,
I think you should really tell an adult that you trust about whats happening. They will be able to really help you and tell you what options you have.
You will feel much better by being able to tell someone older, you won't feel so alone in dealing with this. An adult would be better to give you advice instead of your boyfriend. It is not up to your boyfriend what you do with this pregnancy, it is up to you. Take care...
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Hey Sweetie, how did you get yourself in a fix like that?
U r only 11 & still schooling.
Let me remind u that motherhood isn't easy as it seems. U have to think of your baby. Waking up in the middle of the night to feed your baby is unavoidable. Motherehood=Heavy Responsibility.
What does your parents think of this? Most importantly, what do you think of this? Where'll u get your financial means from?
Inside you is a life. My recommendation is that don't go for abortion. Keep the baby. Most parents might make you go for an abortion and ask you to concentrate on school but I think they r implementing the wrong values to kids and teens who are with baby. Killing another life is wrong.
Pray to God to give you wisdom and go through this crisis.
U can always send me a personal msg at [email address blocked].
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reader, ladybug  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 oh, that's tough! at a very young age with a huge responsibility huh? i do agree that parenting is one of the hardest part of life, specially to YOU! in your case, you definately have to develop the sense of maturity, ur still a baby carrying another baby! but dont let that situation spoil you, I mean come on, both of you do the deed so both of you should suffer the consequences, but what far more important is to deliver that baby no matter how complex the things around you, i believe that you are only experiencing the pregnancy syndrome which tends you to be emotional stressful at this times, but believe me after you delivered the baby you will realize that you've done the great decision and half of your battle is won.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Hello, sweetheart, I know you must be scared, and you don't say where your parents are, only that you are living with the boyfriend's. But I hope you can go to them for support.
You are much too young to be thinking about raising this child with your boyfriend, you are a child yourself.
Of course, this decision should be made by you, but at your age, I think you probably don't know what is best for you...I hope that you are getting prenatal care, that you are going to see a doctor soon. If you hurry, you can choose to terminate this pregnancy and get on with your life, but you need to make an appointment to see a doc right away! Your boyfriend is too young to take care of the child, and this is your body so it is your life that is most affected....Should you decide to carry the baby full term, I hope you will consider putting the baby up for adoption to a loving couple who are of age and able to support the baby, but cannot have one of their own...this would bring much joy to this couple, and your child would have a chance for a good life, and you could have your life back.
This is quite shocking that you are so young and having sexual intercourse....I hope you learn from this and either abstain from sex all together until you are old enough to be responsible, you were old enough to have sex, so you need to be old enough to do the responsible thing....such as get on birth control and learn how to use it.
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reader, Dr. Surgel +, writes (18 June 2007):
 Mickey
You are going to have to talk to your mother and/or his mother and you have to talk to a good doctor about this.
Don't be afraid of losing the baby, that is just the panic talking.
You are really terribly young to be doing this, but if you both want to have the baby and you have a safe place to bring the baby up in, and you have your boyfriend's mother's help, then you will be able to manage. With good help and management you can probably still finish school as well.
This is going to be really hard, and you will need help so don't be afraid to ask for it.
The first things to take care of are making sure that both you and your baby are always SAFE and healthy. That is your priority.
Then work out with your boyfriend and both your families a roster for caring for the baby while you two are at school and/or working. You are going to have to continue with school and then get some employment/work training so that you can provide for the child, so keep in mind that having the child is not the easy way to do things, it doesn't mean that you can give up school or work, and just stay at home looking after children. You are still a baby yourself so you have to give yourself the best chance in life that you can, and you can't necessarily expect someone else to provide that for you. You can ask for help and support, but you have to be looking to be able to help and support yourself and your baby.
Best of luck girl,
Dr. Surgel
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): woah. You're eleven?! okay, first of all, you guys should have never had sex. You're not emotionally ready for that, because you're obviously just beginning your hormonal stage. As for your boyfriend, I advise you to talk to him. Giving up the baby for adoption would be the best thing to do. You've got your whole life ahead of you, keeping the child would make things extremely complicated. Tell your boyfriend he needs to understand what is best for your future and his.
Good luck.
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reader, *shugar* *and* *spice* +, writes (18 June 2007):
 well, since your boyfriend and you don't wan't the baby to die you could just have the baby but since you don't want a baby right now then you could concider adopting the baby to a family that is ready for a baby and will take care of it. you know just untile you are both ready for a baby then you can try again.
hope i helped,
good luck!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): im sorry but at 11 years old you shouldnt even know what sex is, really i dont want to sound like a dick but my answer is just go to home school, babies cry so answer them quickly, take care of your self, and just try to stay com. babies are a thing you should never waste and give them lots of attention, and really, try to get in home school.
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reader, dirtypirate +, writes (18 June 2007):
11 years old you shouldent even be having sex! but things happen. you will have mother tuition an will wake when your baby cries. im sorry but if your goin to have the baby i think it waould be in the best interest for u an the child if you give him or her up for adoption. you are still a kid yourself! you cant give a baby all of what it needs. you an the baby will have a much better life apart.
its the adult thing to do.
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reader, batman2 +, writes (18 June 2007):
batman2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionplez don't judge me if u see my ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Sweetie, where are your parents ?? what is your boyfriend;s mother doing about your situation ? you are way underage. I know that you are still a child, but do you really want to give up your baby ? If not, then you could ask a close relative to help you raise your child. I am sorry that you are in a suituation like this.
You need the help of a responsible adult to help you make a decision. I am just afraid that if you give up your baby, it will come back to hunt you in years to come. I know that you cannot take care of your baby alone.Seek help and how old is your boyfriend ????
Good luck my dear.
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