A
female
age
41-50,
*ovehurt
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been in this relationship for five years. Last year I found out that he cheated on me. When I asked about it he lied then he came clean. The thing is he said that he dont feel like he is making me happy in bed. We use to have sex three times a week then it went to once a week. Know I am doing good if we have sex twice a mounth. We both have different hours I am a student and he work at night. I am at home home on weekends and he is at his mothers or at friends I can say in a given week we see each other about 10 hours a week. I know we have problems and the bigest problem we have is that I am Black and his mother dont like when people date out side of their race so his parients do not know or should I say family . Can you help I love him and I know sex dont make a relationship but it can also end one.
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female
reader, lovehurt +, writes (21 June 2007):
lovehurt is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!!! I have tried talking to him. What I get is I care or why are you asking you should know. I want to be apart of his life. I feel that after 5 years he should. Some time I feel it's because of his race ( he is philippino) I see that two of his cousin are in a relationship with a black guy. He tells me that his mother dont talk to them. That I have to under stand the he is the oldest son and he should follow what his parients want. I still feel its him. If my family is ok with it and they are from the South were mix race is a big NO. I need to know or get the heart to tell him how I feel.
A
female
reader, Artemesian  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Melanne raised some very good points! If you think he might cheat on you again, then he isn't worthy of you. No one deserves to be cheated on and making bad excuses like he has been doesn't mean he's free of blame. If his family doesn't accept you then he has to be there for you even more but it sounds like that isn't the case. I hope you get to talk things over with him and clear the issues up. Best of luck xo
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A
female
reader, Melanne  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 It is never easy finding your partner has cheated on you it can cause trust issues later on in the relationship. You don't expect your partner to cheat on you. This was then furthered by your boyfriend lying to you. He has then tried to put some of the blame on you by saying he didn't think he made you happy in bed this is a perfect excuse, but that is what it is an excuse.
It sounds like he is using lots of excuses like his mother doesn't like black people. Maybe your boyfriend is a player and cannot commit to one girlfriend? You need to talk with him and ask him where his committments are.
You don't have to put up with the way he's treating you, you deserve much better. Having a mixed race relationship does not give your boyfriend an excuse to cheat on you or treat you badly. Ask him honestly what his feelings are for you.
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