A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am so worried. I think, I really do not know, but I think that I might be gay. It scares the hell out of me, I don't want to be gay!! I've got a girlfriend and I love her but I am so confused. I cannot talk to ANYONE about this.How can I become straight without telling anyone my problem? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): You can suck a dick and if you like it better...leave the bitch!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Well i think if you love your girlfriend then your straight loads of men have the exact same question. I know ive felt the same way as you and ive overcome that and imhappily married.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): i think that if you like a man sexually or romanticly you are gay but if you really love your girlfriend you must be straight and if you love males and females you are bisexual but it's your choice
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): i think you should do something special with your girlfreind that will mean you are straight unless you love another man then you are bisexual
...............................
A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 If you ask me, mate; You're at a difficult age. It's normal to not know what your orientation is at some point, I believe lots of people go through this.
I have a friend who spend a whole year openly admitting he was bisexual. So, everyone in our school year, friend or foe, knew he was bi. Eventually, he flip flopped on the whole thing, and he was back to being straight again.
My point is, you're at a time where it's very easy to be confused about who you are. Also at this age, you want to experiment with your feelings, and maybe that's all this is.
I will also point out that it can be easy to be influenced as well. During school I had a few people say that they thought I was gay at first, so I was like "Gay? Why would they think that??.... Am I??" But I wasn't, and nor am I to this day. And that's what I'm saying; It's very easy to be influenced by people if they say something like that, especially at your tender age.
I put this down to be a confusing point for you, and only you will know the true answer. It could be that you, like me, only a small part of you thought you might be gay, and you rubbish it every time you think about it. Or, you are thinking this way, because you are discovering you're gay. Only you will know deep down if you are or not, but it's maybe something you won't know for sure, nor accept for some time to come yet.
So, try not to let it bug you. It's something that will happen one way or another, and only you can know how you are, and however you are, only you decide whether to accept it or not.
I hope this was of some help. And by the way; I think the advice people are giving you is pretty solid. You don't like it however because it isn't sugarcoated, and it isn't what you want to hear. You came to this site to share your situation with real people, people who don't know you I might add, so you had expect people to be compeltely honest with you. I'm very sorry if you don't like that, but it's the way it is, and if you don't like it, maybe you should look elsewhere. A place where people will kid you, and say "Oh yeh, it's just for now. You're definately straight, don't worry", but that isn't the real world. So please don't rubbish people who are just trying to help you.
...............................
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Sorry didn't mean to post twice xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (21 June 2007):
Do you want us all to lie then and say yes you can make yourself straight?! The truth hurts sometimes. You are who you are. We all have quirks about us we don't like and can't change.
You may find as you grow up your sexual orientation levels out as your hormones do and you find only females attractive, but you may find males still attractive too. I wouldn't worry about it so much and have fun with your girlfriend. I know it isn't something easy to forget as I remember the feelings well. Just ride the waves out.
xxxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (21 June 2007):
Do you want us all to lie then and say yes you can make yourself straight?! The truth hurts sometimes. You are who you are. We all have quirks about us we don't like and can't change.
You may find as you grow up your sexual orientation levels out as your hormones do and you find only females attractive, but you may find males still attractive too. I wouldn't worry about it so much and have fun with your girlfriend. I know it isn't something easy to forget as I remember the feelings well. Just ride the waves out.
xxxxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat really isn't helpful, and it's not making me feel any better. You're making it sound like I don't have a choice.I just don't get it. I REALLY do not want to be gay, and this is confusin me so much.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): Whether you love your girlfiend or not is irrelevent. Loving someone has no bearing on sexual orientation. If you are sexually attracted to men and not women then you probably are gay. If you are attacted to both then maybe yoy are bisexual.
Wanting to be straight won't make you straight. If you are gay then you are gay and that is it. You can be in denial or accept it. If you are gay then long term you will be much happier if you accept and deal with it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Artemesian  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 I think you have some very good answers here so far. Our society has had so many constraints telling us how we can and can't be and what is right or wrong when it comes to sexuality. But nothing is black and white like that - there is always all shades of grey. Sexuality isn't just having sex with a girl or a guy, its a very mental thing and a lot of people now are letting go of society's doctrines and just enjoying who they truly are whether that is straight, gay, or any shade in between : ) It's all a natural and enjoyable thing so don't be worried.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): Let's look at this a little closer. You may be confusing attraction with something else. You may indeed be craving male companionship, or a male role-model in your life because you didn't have a father figure or a strong male you could look up to as you were growing up. If you aren't actually having sexual fantasies about other men, you probably are simply missing out on a form of male bonding or companionship. If you have a g/f and find her attractive, and sexually exciting you may try making a friends with a couple of guys and just go out and play basketball together some afternoon, or shoot pool, and have a few beers. It may not be a gay thing at all. It might be nothing more than the need to bond with other men as friends. If however, you begin to feel sexually attracted to your male friends, that may indicate that you are bi-sexual or gay. Only you will know. And if it bothers you that much, try going to your local church and having some pastoral counseling. A little spiritual guidance may help you keep your conscience clear and keep you on the right path. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Beckto  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Yummy is right. If you're honest with yourself and an authentic person, you can't make yourself straight. You are what you are.
There is nothing wrong with being gay, bi, or straight. There is also nothing wrong with not knowing if you're any of those. The age you're at now is a time many people go through a stage of not knowing. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to make a decision. Keep dating girls if you want. Or, if you want, don't date anyone and just have friends for now. Take it one step at a time, and you'll figure things out soon enough.
...............................
A
female
reader, burningbridges  +, writes (19 June 2007):
If females sexually attract you at all you're bi. Otherwise you're gay and that's okay. You don't have to out yourself until you feel comfortable, but there are lots of support groups and resources available to you, many of which don't require you to be public with your sexuality.
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (19 June 2007):
 Will agree with yummymummy here, i think if we are all 100% truthful with ourselves we all experience this at some point while we are growing up, just ride with it and don't let it consume you it will probably pass in time and if it does not it is no big deal and you will just have to come to terms with it.
Take care.xx.
...............................
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (19 June 2007):
You cant "make" yourself straight again if you find guys attractive. When I was in my early teen sI began to find other girls and female celebs attractive. Later in my teens I did have some fun with other girls and I think you could class me as being bi although I'm very happin in the relationship with my boyfriend.
I think confusion over sexuality is completely normal and shows that your body is beginning to grow up in the sense that you find other people attractive.
xxxxxxx
...............................
|
