A
male
age
41-50,
*nsure1
writes:Dear Cupid,In a relationship with current gf for 4 months -dont know whether i'm attracted to her or not...she carrys some weight and i'm not comfortable with that as i'm rather thin and keep fit ...it seems i always find fault with the women i go out with and it ultimately ends up in tears every time. As soon as i meet someone i see other attractive girls and become unsettled with my current girlfriend! i'm 32 years old but is this immature at my age or have i just not met the right girl yet? please help its eating away at me - i'm afraid to break up for fear i will hurt her badly as she is a very nice person and also that i will end up single and lonely once more..any advice would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 Finding fault in the women you have been in a relationship has me wondering if you are even ready to settle down. If you see a women passing on the street and you stop and wonder about her has me thinking you just haven't found the woman that just says...she's THE ONE! To me, you just know when it's her. You want to be with her and ONLY her. She makes you happy, she makes you laugh, she's always there for you and as far as looks and body size, that doesn't matter. It's just "her" that matters to you. You fall in love with her personality and sure looks play a part...because you are attractive to her, but it's her on the inside that you fall in love with. I'm a firm believer in going with what your gut says, and if the woman you are with is not THE ONE, then you should wait till you find her. She's out there, just be patient. Love comes when you least expect it and with whom you least expect to be with. As far as being alone, sometimes it takes that to really find out and seek what you are looking for and whom and what you really want...not just having a lady by your side because you might be lonely.
Best Wishes to you.....
A
female
reader, Artemesian  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 Often when we criticize others it's due to things in them we see that remind us of ourselves that we don't like or things you would hate to see in yourself. Being too picky about women makes things hard so maybe you settle for someone you don't really want to be with? (like your current girlfriend) but instead of trying to be with people where it won't work out (and end up hurting them in the process and yourself?) you might need to reflect for awhile on yourself. The fact you are on here asking for help and are worried about the issues you have with women shows you are a sensitive guy - there will be people out there that are right for you but you might need to overcome some hangups you might have about yourself or others. Things like excess weight - why does it bother you so much? What does it mean to you when someone is like that, or any other thing you don't like. Good luck with finding a partner that you can love, and I hope you sort of things with your girlfriend in an honourable and sensative way.
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