A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Before I get to my question, I realize there are steps I need to do instead typing my question on this site. I am already ensuring to take them as far as seeking them, but I do have to wait one more week in order for detectable antibodies to begin to show. Also, I understand how irresponsible my behavior was so to tell me something I do know--I mean I understand how pathetic I was to act the way I did. And trust me regardless of the outcome I have all my life to know what I did was incredibly stupid. Anyway with that in mind. About almost a week ago (last Sunday) I had unprotected anal sex with a guy I have been dating. Prior to us actually having the sex and even about a week prior to this, he had told me he had tested clean two weeks ago. I had been clean as well. And he even swallowed. So he engaged in risky behavior too. I know I was clean, because I tested and it's been over three months since my result came out clean. Moreover, it had been over the three months since I had protected sex with another guy.Despite having protection available to us, our passion just led to that unprotected sex. This is a super high risk for HIV and I understand that. I am dying on the inside for being so damn irresponsible. As much as I like the guy (and yes we are still dating, I have let him know this won't happen again) I love myself more--sadly in that incident I showed I didn't love myself that much. And I let myself down and I can't stop thinking about it. I have not been sleeping or eating much. I can't be happy and rightfully so. Any advice from this point forward?I appreciate any and all advice...but I would especially would profoundly appreciate if anyone who has been in a similar situation (whether male or female) could give me advice and insight as to how to cope with things from here on forth...obviously, I know the cases vary from person to person. I am not asking for a diagnosis, just a shared experience. Let's keep it anonymous. My last note is advice: for people who might find themselves in this situation. From the bottom of my heart, I tell anyone this situation is not worth getting into. Even if there's "passion." Everything from this point forward has been horrible...I don't wish it on anyone. And you can very much avoid it, if you are responsible and you use protection. Love yourself. If I could reset this incident, believe me I would. Thank you and please you may not know me, and I don't feel like I should matter more than someone else at this point. I know I am not the only one that is or has been in this situation, but please send me all your good thoughts. As I am a firm believer that good thoughts result in a good outcome. Apologies for any typos ahead of time. I am literally in tears as I type this.
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anal sex, engaged, hiv , sex with another, swallow, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (21 April 2014):
 I did that the first time I had casual sex in my life. No protection. I was actually doing it out of anger and trying to be reckless.
Then came ths wondering if I was pregnant. Not cool. Paranoia NOT worth it, and the constant tests and thinking about how stupid you were!!!
But it's over. I have decided not to act in guilt. I've learnt my lesson. Guilt only perpetuates a cycle. You are not an irresponsible moron, you merely did an irresponsible morinic thing once. Irresponsible is clearly not your default setting
Make like Elsa and Let It Go my man.
A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (20 April 2014):
 You mention that prior to this you also had unprotected sex at least another 1 time. I would say that self control and self discipline is going to be the one thing you need to learn.
I also don't understand how it can just up and happen, there is always that moment before penetration where you stop and that is when you need to be, "ok need something on" before just sticking it right in.
You wouldn't for instance see an open plug socket and instantly stick your finger into a live socket. Yet that is potentially what you are doing every time you engage in unprotected sex.
Finally, good luck and I hope you learn from this and that you are healthy and didn't catch anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2014): Surely if he's tested clean already you can't have caught anything...? Or are you in doubt as to whether he was telling the truth?
Either way, best of luck for your results, try and keep busy in the meantime
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2014): Wish you all the best with the results mate. Hope all is well. You will make better decisions in the future after this.
There's nothing more you can do in the mean time but stay strong.
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