A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a good friend in the office. In fact i've a crush on him but will never act on this feeling because he's married. Don't want to get hurt as going out with a married man, it's the worst thing of all to do. Guess he also feels attracted to me. A woman can always sense when a man likes to have sex with other women and he's such type of man. For the past months been hearing rumours on him and another married woman. Want to let him know that people are talking about them but i don't want to sound jealous nor a gossiper. As a colleague, can i just let him know so that he be careful. The real reason i want to tell him is that to want him to know that i know what he's doing, as in a certain way he's responsible for me to have a crush for him.
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crush, jealous, married man, married woman Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 March 2014):
 Honeypie's answer is spot on. Leave him to clean his own mess.
I think you need to be honest with yourself here. It isn't for his benefit you want to warn him but for yours. I'd wager your true agenda is to verify the rumours, scare him away from a rival (if they're true), and earn his appreciation and affection.
You're playing with fire. Be very careful.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 March 2014):
 Eh he is married AND a cheat, I'd leave him in his own mess. And I agree you will not score any "Brownie points" by telling him the office gossip.
Work and getting over that crush. It put you in a bad position. You say you don't want to be with a married man... but I can almost sense the hesitation there and I'm willing to bet if you aren't careful he would have no problems telling you "sweet little lies" about how horrible his marriage is and how he is thinking about leaving his wife... JUST to reel you in.
Be smart.
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A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (19 March 2014):
 Stay out of it. Nothing but trouble.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2014): Eventually rumors find their way back to the subject of the gossip. He doesn't need your help; because it's none of your business. You think you'll get goodie-points for telling him he's the subject of office-gossip? Seriously?!
Your crush is your own problem. He's nothing but trouble and he's a cheat.
Stay away from both him and the gossip.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 March 2014):
 It is NONE of your concern or business so I'd say nothing.
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