A
male
age
30-35,
*lwayswondering
writes:Hi all,I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin. To be honest, it doesn't bother me. It is what it is. I don't believe in sleeping around or getting to know someone for the purpose of sex like most people my age seem to do. I mean, sure there are people who do that and it's fine. But, I find it "unethical" for myself to do it if that makes sense. A lot of my friends (probably just about all) are not virgins. While it doesn't bother me, it does because they have experienced this and I haven't. I guess I feel left out and disappointed that I haven't met a person or dated a person long enough for this to develop. When I look at people my age, males and females, a lot all of them tend to sleep around, and do this kind of stuff. Again, I don't think I'm superior or anything, I just feel out of place because it seems to be normal to lose your virginity in high school. Or have a lot of sexual partners. I know the "right" answer is that that's them, and this is me. I do what I want to do and shouldn't follow the pack, so to speak. How can I accept this notion beyond understanding? As in, how can I "feel" this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013): haha eh! i'm glad im not the only one. im in the same boat but 2 years younger. i'm glad to hear from some females in the same boat too, i hope all of us boat mates meet sometime.
A
female
reader, Rainbowponies  +, writes (29 August 2013):
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to sleep around but it's a personal decision. It's not morally better to want to wait for someone special. It's to do with how you see sex. If you aren't comfortable or don't want to sleep with strangers that's perfectly ok. Personally, I couldn't even imagine sleeping with someone I didn't love. You shouldn't worry about it. It's better to be patient. Don't feel bad just because of what other people have or haven't done.Also don't worry about being "bad" when the right girl comes along. Sex is always different with a new person and you just have to learn what the other person likes. Don't worry that you're the only person who feels that way. There are plenty of people who think sex is important. Unfortunately there's no way to make yourself feel something. I wish there was. Life would be easier. Just know that you aren't that unique (sorry) :P
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2013): I'm a 23-year-old woman...and I think it's AWESOME that you're still a virgin! So many guys sleep around a lot, which often means they bring baggage into their relationships...and what woman wants that? I've only slept with one person...lost my virginity at 21, dated my ex for a year and a half...I hated running into the girls in our city that he had slept with before! So...the girl that you eventually sleep with (whether it be marriage, dating, whatever) will really treasure the fact that you don't have a past :)Plus, we all know the complications that can come from sex when you're not ready for a family...be happy that you've never had to worry about a pregnancy scare, STDs, girls getting all emotional and attached to you, etc, etc.One more thing...don't do it until you're ready! That way you know you won't regret it (probably, anyway)
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A
male
reader, Alwayswondering +, writes (29 August 2013):
Alwayswondering is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for the advice and input. I get this thought from time to time. Ultimately, I guess I have to accept this and just keep moving forward. @LoveinQuanta, the problem with taking the "high road" is that it gets lonely to the point where you get used to being the only one who ever shares your views and values. Also, with your last piece of advice, I do ;).
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (29 August 2013):
 I think you're over thinking this.Sex can be a wonderful thing, yes but (in my experience) is best when shared with someone you have strong feelings for.This isn't the case for everyone but I can only speak from my experience.It really doesn't matter what anyone else does or what they're comfortable with, it really isn't a big deal that you haven't yet found the person you 'click' with enough to share this experience with.You will at some point and I'm sure it will be absolutely fine.Any partner you do get this close too will not judge you for your inexperience, they may be inexperienced themselves and appreciate a sensitive man who cares enough to wait until it's right.I also suspect that many of your friends may not have had as many sexual encounters as they say they have.At the end of the day don't waste to much time worrying about what you have and haven't experienced yet. Enjoy living your life and meeting people and being a good person, everything else will fall into place in it's own time.And anyway, your private life is no-ones business but yours anyway.AB x
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A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (29 August 2013):
 I don'r know. You would have been my perfect guy though. Which makes me think, there's some one out there who is thinking just that.
And do not worry, you are not as alone as you think, though swans are rarer
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2013): Think of yourself as a treasure. Obviously you're in the position you are because you take sex more seriously, and want it in the context of a loving relationship. Go you! I personally commend you. There is really no way to truly "feel" thrilled about being a virgin in your 20s. I was one until 25. My thoughts most days were, "Well, shit. This sucks. Will I ever stop being this horny?" Still, though, I believed in waiting till it felt right and until I found the right guy, because I knew that physical gratification right now wouldn't compare to love later. That did come along, and when it finally did, I was very happy I waited. He was too. It sucked, though. All the advice I can give you is to think about what's important to you, and go with your heart (not your penis). If you take the high road, it'll be worth it. Oh, and masturbate often.
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A
female
reader, SheW0lfx +, writes (29 August 2013):
 Hi.Wow. I haven't known of many men to remain a virgin into their twenties. I think its fantastic that you aren't into sleeping around and want to wait until you really get to know someone before being sexual with them. I am 25 and was a virgin up until I was 20. A lot of my friends lost their virginity in their teens, some as young as 13! That shocked me because I think I was still playing with my dolls at that age! I was kind of embarrassed about still being a virgin at the age of 20, but when I met my first boyfriend, he was so understanding about it and thought it was really sweet that I waited until I met someone that I could form a relationship with before having sex. While my friends who lost their virginity at a young age have told me they had bad experiences of their first time, I am happy to say that my first time was amazing. I was deeply in love with my partner and that just added to the joy of it all. Although we are not together anymore, I will always be thankful to him for being understanding of that situation. I am now currently single and looking for a new romance, but I won't jump into bed with just anyone. I've slept with one man in the five years that I lost my virginity and I want to meet someone special to share the experience with again!I am proud of the fact I was a virgin until I was 20 and you should be too! Good luck x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (29 August 2013):
 Until you can invent a time machine, and take yourself back in time as far as you wish, to have your first sexual experience,... you are stuck with your predicament.
That said, I think you needn't spend even a whit of your time and mental energy thinking and ruminating about this. Who knows? This afternoon, you may encounter the most delightful and enticing creature on the face of this Earth... and she will say to you: "Say, (your name here), I have always wanted to have sex with an inexperienced, and untainted guy, and I believe that you may be just such a man. What say we go back to my place and see if we can start a family together?"
Think positive!!!!
Good luck....
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