A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I met a girl in one of my college classes, and ended up having a big crush on her after a few days. For a while I thought she was sending me interesting signals (i.e. jumping in on my conversations with the professor, laughing at every joke I made, smiling when I talked to her). So the week before spring break I asked her out to a lunch date. She said she was busy but rescheduled for two days later. The date went, I think, pretty good. I'm a shy guy with a self-deprecating sense of humor (though I tried to keep that toned down), and we talked for about an hour and didn't even HAVE lunch, we were so caught up in the conversation. I had to leave the next day for vacation and didn't get to see her again before then, so I sent her an e-mail wishing her a good break and asking if I could glance at her class notes when we got back.Break ends two weeks later. I end up approaching her the NEXT week and asking her if she'd like to get together again sometime in a few days. I got the impression she was busy and she said that she's been so busy that she doesn't schedule anything anymore and takes things one day at a time, but she'd get back to me on Wednesday. And she usually gets back to me when I ask her these kinds of things, so I trusted her with that.Well, it's been two weeks since then, and the whole time she hasn't been talking to me, or even glancing in my direction in class (as far as I can tell) -- in fact she gets out of the classroom as fast as she can when class is over, when usually she's the last person there. When I walk by her outside of class, I offer a slight smile or simple "hey" and she just goes O_O and hurries off without a word. She just seems really nervous ever since I asked her out to lunch again -- I assumed she lost interest and tried ignoring her and moving on, but today in class I was just smitten all over again. So, there goes that plan. =(Do you think, if she liked me in the first place, she changed her mind over break and doesn't want to see me again? I'm not exactly sure what I did wrong. I guess it'd help to know that she's an extremely shy and polite person, and probably the smartest girl I've ever met...not to mention she's taking an insane amount of classes this semester.Is she trying to tell me she's not interested? Does she feel bad about not getting back to me, shy as she is? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, garcypher +, writes (5 April 2011):
Maybe she is putting school work before boys as I hope my three daughters do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): I sense she doesn't want to take things any further. I'd leave it at that. These things happen. You only had one casual date, if you can even call it that. Forget it and distract your mind with other things.
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A
female
reader, Elydiese +, writes (5 April 2011):
It sounds as though she may have been interested to start with as she wasnt too sure what might happen and since your date shes maybe just changed her mind it does happen i'm sorry to say but i just dont think shes interested anymore
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A
female
reader, Yetilicious +, writes (5 April 2011):
It sounds like she's not interested. Even if she was shy, I don't know one girl who would try avoiding a guy she likes like that. If it bugs you so much, you should confront her and ask her why she's been avoiding you. It's likely she'll lie and tell you she hasn't or that she's just been busy. If that's the case ask her out one last time, if she turns it down then you've done your best and it's time to move on and find someone else who actually IS interested. I hope all goes well, Let us know what happens!
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