A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:helloi always fantasized about bondage sex and now since i watched the 50 shades of grey movie it made me want it even more. how can i bring this subject to my partner?thank u Reply to this Question
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male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (4 March 2015):
OP, have a quiet evening in, a glass of wine each (and definitely no more than that) then chat to your significant other about wanting to feel safely at his mercy before directing him to your scarf drawer.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 February 2015):
 SVC
Don't bother reading the books (or see the movie) - it's not even sexy - it what some refer to as rape-culture/abuse "porn".
The only reason so many women found the main (male)character sexy was because he was filthy rich and handsome... The fact that he is abusive, manipulative, controlling and over all a total mind-freller... seems to be ignored.. Sad that women can't see past that crap.
Oh and let's not forget the dialogues? ridiculous.
Not only that, but the AUTHOR did absolutely NO research when she decided to do her pathetic attempt of "sexy prose" - she clearly knows nothing about BSDM or bondage or.. healthy relationships.
Sorry OP. I think people NEED to open their eyes and SEE things for what they are. 50 Shades of SHIT is not "just a book" - it's a book that promotes a lot of really detrimental things towards women, not just the vapid main female character, but women overall.
How is it sexy, that a guy SHE barely knows puts a GPS in her phone so he can track her? How is it OK for him to SELL her car (he does buy her another one, but HE picks it out, HE decided where she can go, who she can see and WHAT she wears..) It's SICK.
When we have women who ARE in those REAL situation of ABUSIVE/CONTROLLING/SICK relationships, it's NEVER sexy. It's downright scary. It can be deadly. And now there is a HUGE mass of WOMEN thinking that it's OH SO SEXY!! No.
It has NOTHING to do with LOVE or passion.
Now, I know I went very OT (off topic) here, but I think WOMEN especially, need to realize that when we SUPPORT that kind of filth we are saying ABUSE/control is OK and sexy. And I want YOU (OP) to NOT think of 50 Shades when thinking sex and love.
So DO the research - see what makes you tick.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 February 2015):
 I only read the first one and had to struggle to finish it. Very poorly written erotica, not even "throbbing manhood" worthy. I'm pretty sure reading it lowered my IQ.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 February 2015):
 has he ever held your hands down while being on top?
if not ask him to do that... just put your arms above your head and lay on your back and let him be on top and hold your arms.
see how that feels... you may find that you don't like the lack of control as much as you think you will.
if that works tie some soft scarves to the headboard or bed frame and suggest he ties you up without knots. so that you have the illusion of being bound but are not really bound.
if those games work for you two then you can together explore whether or not you want to go there.
FWIW I have not read the books or seen the movie and I have no intention of doing so. although I do love some good real porn.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 February 2015):
That stupid trilogy has been out now for quite a awhile but I guess we can expect to be getting a lot of these posts now that they somehow thought that it was worthy of a movie. OP Honeypie is correct, educate yourself and find out exactly what YOU mean by bondage sex before you discuss it with your boyfriend. If you are in a sexual relationship you should have no qualms discussing it with him by the way. He may be totally turned off by the whole idea or he may be willing to experiment. But if he decides he wants no part of it then you will have to decide whether this particular fetish is more important to you than your relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 February 2015):
First of all, I would say EDUCATE yourself. DO not go by 50 Shades of shit. THAT crappy book/movie has NOTHING to do with bondage. Seriously. Anyways, had to get that out of the way...
Bondage is the idea of enjoying sexual gratification through the act of being restrained. All that other stuff is BDSM (or Bondage and Discipline with Sadomasochism if you will) and, put simply, the difference between bondage and BDSM is with bondage, you can enjoy the gain but without the pain.
So EDUCATE yourself.
http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/having-sex/bondage-for-beginners-3925.html
You can find MANY websites and forums that have good info and idea for people starting out with these things.
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