A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. We get along really well. He use to be a well known player in our town. The sex is alright. He likes it better than me. Hence the fact I've had better lovers. The two issues I'm having are this: first he calls me his whore, his bitch and skank in and out of bed. I've told him to please stop but he just told me to get use to it. Also he says he is "Into me" but wouldn't be as much of the sex weren't do good. Of course I don't think it is that great! Lol but I look beyond that because I care about him and have fallen for him. Also what's more confusing is he wants me to have his baby!! He hints about us living together and a future all the time. Besides these issues he is great. So should I just let it go. Or realize I can do better?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2018): Sounds like he is going to keep calling you those names. A reasonable man would not, and you don't like it, so I would leave him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2018): He's an arsehole. Find someone with more respect and have a little more confidence. Definitely don't get pregnant.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2018): He's an arsehole. Find someone with more respect and have a little more confidence. Definitely don't get pregnant.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (18 January 2018):
 Really?
He sounds about 14 years old.
He's very clearly told you if the sex wasn't as good then he wouldn't be sticking around. Surely that and the fact he's an immature ass would be enough to kick him to the curb.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (18 January 2018):
You can do a LOT better. Drop him, and be strong with it. It's far better to be alone than in an abusive relationship with someone who's about as sensitive as coarse sandpaper. And believe me, as a straight male, the term 'sensitive' is not one I care to bandy about lightly.
Best wishes with the next one- and I assure you there WILL be a next one. You might not know him yet, but he's waiting, like you are.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (18 January 2018):
 I read your post first without looking at your age. OP, don't be offended but I immediately thought you were about 18-21...and then I looked at your age. Sweets..you are old enough and wise enough to KNOW that this guy isn't good for you. Don't let this man call you such horrid names! Please do not allow him to talk down to you and disrespect you. He isn't that great..hate to tell you. I agree with the other ladies, you know this already, you just want someone else to tell you. So we are telling you...you deserve FAR better. He will only get worse with time. PLEASE get away from him now. Do NOT have his child. You will live to regret it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 January 2018):
 You wouldn't be here if you were happy.
If he calls you horrible names in and out of bed, what type of father will he be? A terrible one! Same goes for the type of husband or live-in partner he'll be.... Abusive.
Leave him immediately and do NOT have sex with him again; he may TRY to get you pregnant and sabotage any contraception you've been using. If you haven't been using any, you absolutely should be with ANYONE you're in a relationship with, until you're ready to be a parent.
He's a jerk. Let's hope he doesn't find a naive woman who does just accept his horrible treatment and falls pregnant! You, however, should dump him. Right now.
For future reference, you shouldn't have this many issues so early on and pregnancy talk shouldn't be happening, except just establishing that you're on the same page regarding that FOR THE FUTURE.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 January 2018):
 Yikes, YOU just have to get used to being called a bitch, skank and whore in and out of bed?
What the actual... F!
Does he think life is some kind of cheap porn playing for HIS benefits?
And then he CLAIMS to want to have a child with you? So he think it's totally appropriate to call someone he sees as the mother of his child all these repulsive names?
And to top it off, he isn't even stellar in bed? and he is blaming YOU for the not so great sex, right?
Does he per chance have other kids out there? With other women?
And no, don't PRESUME that because he is "in" to you and want to BREED with you that he actually cares.
IS that what you want? To "maybe" life with the guy who will father your child? you bar is set that low? hinting about a future means nothing, TALK is cheap. He can't even RESPECT your wish to NOT call you slimy names, how much respect do you think he HAS for you?
There is reason this guy was a "known" player. People presume that guy who are/were players were studs who could charm the panties of any women, who loves women and just can't stick it out with only one woman, the thing is, MOST of them are/were players because they HAD to jump from bed to bed as they could not sustain REAL well functioning relationships for longer periods of time.
Do you think any women with respect for herself says YAY!! the guy I'm with wants to call me derogatory names and tells me to ACCEPT that... No, I'm pretty sure most women would go, Ahh, no thanks I CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!
Don't get into that "scarcity mindset" where you think you HAVE to put up with CRAP like that because there aren't that many men available in your age group. Seriously.
You can DEFINITELY do better.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (18 January 2018):
 Oh sweetheart, OF COURSE you can do better. You sound like an intelligent sensitive lady, while he sounds like a proper piece of work. If he doesn't respect your feelings enough to not call you names like this, then he won't respect your feelings about other things either.
PLEASE don't get pregnant by this specimen. When you have a baby to look after, sex will be the last thing on your mind (at least for a while) and he has already told you he wouldn't be so keen on you if you didn't put out for him all the time.
You KNOW you deserve better otherwise you would not have written in. Get out of this relationship before you start believing you are what he calls you.
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