A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi , what can I do about my girlfriend of 7 months ? She insists i'm not to watch porn when I masterbate but declines my advances to initiate sex? Just the other day I tried it on with her and she had a go at me stating all I'm ever interested In is sex of her , which I took offence to as I love her more than anything.I felt unappreciated as i help her out with money I pay for meals out if she needs somthing im always there to help which she knows , but after me trying to initiate sex with Her (she very very very rarely initiates it, and I'm the one allways doing the work) I said how about we have some afternoon delight and after I'll cook us some bacon sandwiches , she snapped and said 'all you ever want is sex' , so I snapped back offended and said 'well I'm horny' she then said well go take your horny somewhere else or to some one else or just have a w**k.Which is where the problem comes as she has recently told me off for masterbating as she went through my phone history and found porn ... But i don't understand why I can't masterbate because she thinks she isn't good enough so I try to make love and she tells me off , what am I supposed to do ?
View related questions:
horny, money, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, arrgy  +, writes (5 January 2015):
She is using you. Dump her.
A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (29 December 2014):
You don't have a high sex drive, you are simply a teenage boy with a normal sex drive. Life is ridiculous- when we learn the use of firearms our parents give us a BB gun, then as we acquire safety and proficiency, a .22 and so on up.
Men, unfortunately, are handed an atomic device at puberty, and as soon as we acquire the rudiments of discretion and skill that's taken away and we're given a large Napalm bomb, and so on down to those years when we know most about women and are left with a peashooter.
"Intelligent design" my backside.
Drop her now and play the field with other girls so you can make a start at learning the difference between the male and female mind, and believe me there is one. You don't need this kind of rubbish at your age. It will simply desensitize you to future problems in relationships by making you think it's the norm.
After a decade or so of this you will be starting to mature and will understand how to be decent without being a pushover, and in a mental and emotional position to begin the search for someone for the long term.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014): I think that since you were a person with your own sexuality and needs before you met her its unfair to expect you to just lose that part of you now that you're dating her.
Sometimes the person with the lower sex drive will think that makes them morally superior. So watch out for that.
I guess all you can do is discuss it with her. And see what either of you are willing to compromise on.
...............................
A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (18 December 2014):
Sadly it's very hard to reach a compromise when one person has a much higher sex drive than the other, as either one person regularly feels like they have to do it when they don't want to or the other is living with a much lower amount than they would like. I also don't think a 'have more sex with me or accept the porn' type of ultimatum will work either, nor is it fair. She can't help how she feels just like you can't help how you feel. The only thing you could do is chat to her about it and find out whether she really enjoys sex or not as that could easily put her off, but I'm afraid I think this is a case of sexual incompatibility and you will never have the amount of sex you want with her.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2014): Why do you have to use porn?
Why do men always use porn as a default?
As if exploiting and degrading women is the only option if they don't get sex enough?
What is wrong with men's brains ? Do their imaginations no longer work? Are their heads defective . Are they incapable of respecting women ?
Sure , break up if you are unhappy sexually but pirn should have no place in the argument
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2014): No I never go through her phone I respect her privacy, she knows I have a high sex drive it just sometimes feels like a loose loose situation I daren't ask to make love to her as I feel like she is making me feel guilty about it , but thanks your replys I will take it into consideration
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 December 2014):
 I'm with SVC
You two are not a good match. Though I will say if you SIT and watch porn with her around, I get why she feels angry, because in HER mind, SHE isn't good enough compared to the "porn stars" you are wanking too and TRUST ME most women find THAT a turn off.
As for her going through your phone? Do you go through hers?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 December 2014):
 You end the relationship now.
Why? because as time progresses it will only get worse.
It's that you two clearly have incompatible sex drives.
You obviously have a higher drive than she does.
Sadly for her she can't mandate what you do and to demand you not view porn is not her say.
If you are not allowed to view porn and she won't have sex with you and she told you to go find someone else... MAKE IT SO.
END IT WITH HER NOW. see what happens. IF she comes begging to make it work explain to her that your drive is higher and you want HER but if she's not going to want YOU then you WILL USE PORN and if she does not like it she can end the relationship. Then it's on her.
You stay together and when she berates you for porn usage you say "you knew this when you decided to stay even though our sex drives are not compatible.. your choice is to accept it or leave. PICK ONE"
...............................
|
