What to do if the sex still sucks after 2 years? She doesn't seem to be into me...Nor into sex in general
Q. I'm not feeling like I'm sexually wanted by my girlfriend of now 2 years. I'm 25 and she's 28 and we've been, as said, together for 2 years. In the start we had debates about this and eventually it settled to sex when I wanted to have sex b...
A. 5 June 2015: The others have given you good advice. You've invested two years in this relationship. It only makes sense to work on communication and see if you two together can figure out what the problem is -- her interest, your expectations or what.
By th... (read in full...)
I'm in a badly sex-deprived long term marriage!
Q. I've been married for 22 years, and feel terribly sexually starved by my partner. If I don't ask (often beg, demand or cajole) for sex, I'll almost never get it. Once I tried waiting for three months, to see if she would think of it. She didn't! ...
A. 31 October 2014: It's reasonable to ask if I've considered what my wife wants. I've tried everything I can think of that she might like. I'm delighted to do oral -- she seems to get bored (and in my younger days I had a girlfriend for whom that was the favorite ... (read in full...)
I'm in a badly sex-deprived long term marriage!
Q. I've been married for 22 years, and feel terribly sexually starved by my partner. If I don't ask (often beg, demand or cajole) for sex, I'll almost never get it. Once I tried waiting for three months, to see if she would think of it. She didn't! ...
A. 30 October 2014: All I can do is tell you you're not alone. I've been with my wife for over 30 years. At first she seemed more sexually adventurous that I was. Things really started going down hill once the kids arrived. I did all the things a husband is suppo... (read in full...)
What is the difference (for you guys) if she swallows?
Q. Guys, can you explain this to me? Is it important to you that when a woman goes down on you, she lets you cum in her mouth and swallows it? What is the difference if she doesn't swallow? Is that a mind thing or something physical? A male friend once ...
A. 20 September 2014: Personally I don't care too much between spitting and swallowing. What's important to me is the priviledge of being allowed to cum in her mouth. It's just a completely different experience if she pulls away before the end.
Now when you're y... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but he is coming on too strong?
Q. There's a guy I know who I have become interested in, and I think he is interested in me as well. However, I am finding that he comes on very strong and it's making me a little uncomfortable. He is very polite, and his compliments are all ...
A. 13 June 2014: The last time I fell for someone I may very well have come across the way you're describing this guy, although it never ocurred to me at the time. I say what I feel -- if she's particularly attractive, I tell her. If she's done something ... (read in full...)
Trying to spice things up -- how about my cheerleader uniform?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom. i recently found one of my old cheerleading uniforms from high school and discovered that i can still fit into it...and i'm thinking that it might be fun to try a ...
A. 13 June 2014: Have you guys done role play before? If not, you might want to go slow and see how he reacts. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Personally I love the cheerleader idea. Back in high school I used to watch them carefully thinking there was a chance ... (read in full...)
How can I be intimate with my fiancé without upsetting my daughter? She hears us despite us being quiet.
Q. Ok, need help on this one! This is sort of embarrasing but I need someone to tell me what I should do. I have 3 children from my last marriage. I am widowed. I finally meet a wonderful man, and we are engaged to be married in July. I have a cape c...
A. 15 February 2014: I'll tell you what not to do. My wife won't do it if there's a conscious person elsewhere in the house. Mix that in with teenagers who live on an entirely different clock and it's a recipe for no sex life. We're six plus months at this point.
... (read in full...)
I'm still passionate for my wife, but she seems to have lost interest
Q. This may be an unusual request for advice. My wife and I have been together for the better part of 19 years. I am 62 she is 43. We were first married in 1995 and divorced in 2002. We were reunited in 2008 and remarried in 2010. We have both been ...
A. 27 December 2013: My first thought is "be careful what you wish for". I've been in your situation. My wife had pretty restrictive ground rules for when sex might be in the cards. I was frustrated from pretty early on in our relationship, and told her a number of ... (read in full...)
Very devastated that my boyfriend looked at gay porn.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we live together. I love him and trust him. Though, I noticed our computer has been running slow. I did an antivirus run and I found a virus on the computer. I wondered where it came from. So, I ...
A. 19 October 2013: Agreed that you first need to decide what you can and cannot tolerate. If porn at all is a deal-breaker, the gay aspect isn't all that relevant.
If it's not porn in principle, but the inference that he might be gay, that's a different matter. ... (read in full...)
Do Couples Have to sleep in the same bed?
Q. My boyfriend always complains about the dogs waking him up in the bed (to late to untrain them now) and I always complain about my boyfriend snoring. The real question is there any true importance to a couple sleeping in the same bed or even in t...
A. 6 October 2013: My wife and I don't. Initially it was my snoring, later it was the dog. It doesn't make a big difference as I'm a night owl and go to bed later than her anyway. Getting a proper sleep is very important, so if you can't sort out your problems then ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you have sex with a woman on her period?
Q. What are your opinions on period sex? Especially guys... Would you have sex with a woman on her period? Would you do this only if you were in a relationship with her and care about or love her? Or would you do it with a random woman if you wa...
A. 5 October 2013: It's never bothered me. I can't speak to the outside of a relationship part because I can't remember back that far. I think it's a bigger deal for gals than guys, because it never crossed my mind about being a sign of closeness. It's just a bit ... (read in full...)
I'm not making as much money so I'm behind on my alimony! Ideas?
Q. i need help, i have recently got married and had a baby with a beautiful 24 year old girl. my ex wife took me for alot of alimony, and i was ok to pay her for the first year she was awarded it for five years. im having difficulties now paying her ...
A. 27 September 2013: You don't like your ex and you don't want anything to do with her. Makes sense -- that's why you got a divorce. None of that matters to the lawyers and the judge. The court ordered you to pay alimony. You don't like it (few men do). You'd ... (read in full...)
Really want to do oral but can't
Q. Hi aunts and uncles! Thank you in advance for all the help. I'm 19 years old and i'm in a very serious relationship with a guy 6 years my senior. We've been together for just over a year now. My problem is i'm afraid of letting him go own on me ...
A. 27 September 2013: As a guy I can tell you that any time I've been in a position to see a woman's labia there has been far too little blood in my brain to even consider judging appearance. As long as you've bathed in the prior 24 hours he'll like doing it just fine. ... (read in full...)
Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 27 September 2013: He cheated, he lied about it, and didn't even have the grace to apologise. After that kind of violation of trust you would consider taking him back? You'll never get satisfactory answers from him, so don't even try.
You need to demand better t... (read in full...)
A conversation about a friend led to resentment of my wife's different treatment of me and her ex lovers.
Q. aqwsasThe other night at supper I was telling my wife of 32 years about a young lady at work. This woman was telling a story about a friend of hers who worked three jobs and when he came home from work his wife turned their three kids over to him ...
A. 27 September 2013: I feel your pain. My wife stopped swallowing years ago and I miss it. Sadly we can't always get what we want -- not in marriage, not in life. There isn't any rule that says that something a woman did with one guy is something she has to do with ... (read in full...)
Is there really sex after 50?
Q. I have such a dilemma, I can't figure it out what goes on with sex in the older age group. It is because, sadly me and my husband are not sexual anymore , due to his erectile dysfunction, and lack of libido. It has been investigated by doctors, ...
A. 5 September 2013: We don't really talk about sex, so I don't know what my wife thinks. I suspect that it's not a very big deal -- sex never seemed that important to her. I'd certainly be willing to do things other than intercourse, but oral doesn't do anything for ... (read in full...)
Is there really sex after 50?
Q. I have such a dilemma, I can't figure it out what goes on with sex in the older age group. It is because, sadly me and my husband are not sexual anymore , due to his erectile dysfunction, and lack of libido. It has been investigated by doctors, ...
A. 4 September 2013: I wasn't going to chime in, but the responses tended to come in on one side. You might like to hear from someone who is closer to your experience.
My wife and I had a reasonable sex life to start off. It slowed down more than I would have lik... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is convinced he is not "BIG" enough.
Q. Hello dear internet, I have nowhere else to turn and thus I find myself here requesting your genial and honest advice. This is mostly an appeal to men, personally as a woman I don't understand it but anyone who can offer advice I will be very ...
A. 1 September 2013: OK, this is an issue that just is not discussed, so I suppose an adolescent guy could be freaking out. I will admit that seeing a guy at the next urinal with six flacid inches was a surprise. A surprise because I was only near six inches hard, and ... (read in full...)
Why do the men orgasm so quickly with me?
Q. Almost every man I've been with reaches orgasm quickly. Anywhere from one to five minutes. They say it's because I feel so good. My natural secretions are plentiful and have been described as slick and hot. I've also been told I'm tight ...
A. 1 September 2013: Is this with guys the first time, or is it with relationships of longstanding? The first (few) time(s) with a new girl are OMG. Over time with the same girl, getting to know her, well, that's quite different.... (read in full...)
I'm scared my boyfriend will leave me for someone with a bigger dick
Q. Hi I have a boyfriend (I'm gay) and we've been dating for a good while now and are very committed to each other. When we have sex normally both of us get off and we kind feed off each other's energies. We constantly tell each other how much we love ...
A. 9 July 2013: Perhaps I`m betraying ignorance here, but wouldn't smaller be better under these circumstances? Guys assume that bigger is going to be more effective in a vagina, but women I think prefer smaller for anal. Does your boyfriend think differently?... (read in full...)
I told him about the dreams that kept me from sleeping and he reacted harshly
Q. I've been having reoccurring dreams lately about discovering that my husband cheated before we got married. These dreams have been vivid enough to wake me in the middle of the night and upset me enough to the point of not falling back asleep. ...
A. 17 April 2013: Dreams happen. Often they're a good thing, letting your subconscious vent. With no meaning in the real world. And that's what I would tell my mate if she told me about a dream she'd had.
Reacting aggressively like he has? He's thinking... (read in full...)
Any advice on sex surrogate therapy?
Q. Hi all, i'm a 30 year single female virgin. I have reached a point in my life, where i'm ready to move towards changing this. Does anyone have any useful info, where to start? I've heard of sex therapy where a sex surrogate is used, in the st...
A. 3 April 2013: I read your question, and I just don’t quite understand why you would need a surrogate to help you to move forward. To my mind, the first thing you need to do is to understand yourself, your body, and your sexuality. By age 30 I would assume... (read in full...)
Am I gay now, if I had sex with my friend once?
Q. Mod note: OP is a male. I'm a young man. Some time ago I broke up with my girlfriend, it was very hard and painful, because we had a long relationship, but I had to end it because she lied to me, cheated on me and did other nasty things. That even...
A. 5 March 2013: Just for the record, I said that what happened was *not* fundamentally wrong.... (read in full...)
Am I gay now, if I had sex with my friend once?
Q. Mod note: OP is a male. I'm a young man. Some time ago I broke up with my girlfriend, it was very hard and painful, because we had a long relationship, but I had to end it because she lied to me, cheated on me and did other nasty things. That even...
A. 4 March 2013: In my 20s I'd have felt just as you do now. Back then I was very definite in my thinking about gender roles. I, too, felt that intimate same-sex interaction was wrong.
The way I see it now is that we're all human beings. Compassion and empathy,... (read in full...)
I know my wife has never cheated on me,so is my curiosity normal behaviour?
Q. We have been together for 26 years. My wife was much more experienced than me, sexually. We got together when we were teens, my best friend had just been in a sexual relationship with her when we met. Since then I have become obessed with the...
A. 22 February 2013: All I can tell you is you're not alone. I've had similar thoughts. When we first got together I was insanely jealous at the thought of her doing stuff with other guys. Thirty years later I fantacize about it. I think it's maybe a symptom of ... (read in full...)
Husband can't preform because of pornography!
Q. Frustrated at most, I've been married for 22 yrs and I'm still young early 40s ,however have hit a rough patch in my marriage which entails my husband can't preform the sexually act because he is busy watching porn ... We do have opposite schedules ...
A. 18 February 2013: OK, that's helpful.
Your assumption could be correct - it could be that he's become accustomed to lazy, instant gratification from porn.
It could be, though, that after all those years, the 'same old' with you just doesn't have the novelty... (read in full...)
Husband can't preform because of pornography!
Q. Frustrated at most, I've been married for 22 yrs and I'm still young early 40s ,however have hit a rough patch in my marriage which entails my husband can't preform the sexually act because he is busy watching porn ... We do have opposite schedules ...
A. 17 February 2013: Out of curiosity, how do you know how much he's masturbating to porn? Have you discussed it openly, or are you checking his browser history? Has he said that he's no longer attracted to you in that way? If so, has he told you why? ... (read in full...)
How important is oral sex?
Q. The basic question here is how important is oral sex to you? I'm aiming this at both genders just to get an overview from both sides. I've been with some people who absolutely love oral and others who aren't really that interested in it and i'd li...
A. 24 January 2013: I love receiving and miss it when it there's a dry spell.
I very much enjoy giving, and am sad that my wife doesn't really care for it.
How important? Very nice, but I can live without it.... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my addiction to pornography?
Q. I plan on quitting pornography after using it twice a day since I was 15. Now, 4 years later, I feel like it is holding me back. I've only had one girlfriend and felt guilty using it and tried to quit it, but wasn't successful after relapsing too ...
A. 8 October 2012: Look, porn and masturbation are really two different things. Porn is an aid to masturbation. Porn can help you get off faster, more easily. It's kind of like a sugar rush. It's like, you out late at night, you're kinda hungry. You could go... (read in full...)
What is right? My wife is saying she has no problem if one of our unmarried daughters chooses to have sex in our home with a Bf. The thought bothers me.
Q. I have kids. In particular, I have daughters. And in particular I have a daughter who is 19. She took a year off after high school and travelled the world. Now she's back home and is trying her hand at university. OK, so she's "of age", so if ...
A. 5 October 2012: It's not so much that sex holds stigma I've gotten much better about that over the years. She's legally adult, and I accept that that's a part of her life. But I suppose from my upbringing that I expect sex to not be in my face. Married people... (read in full...)
What is right? My wife is saying she has no problem if one of our unmarried daughters chooses to have sex in our home with a Bf. The thought bothers me.
Q. I have kids. In particular, I have daughters. And in particular I have a daughter who is 19. She took a year off after high school and travelled the world. Now she's back home and is trying her hand at university. OK, so she's "of age", so if ...
A. 3 October 2012: Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts. Yes, it's my house / my rules. I posted the question not because I was considering giving in, but more because I recognize I'm being inconsistent. A healthy sex life is important, and I want my adult ... (read in full...)
Should I get mad at my husband if he doesn't loan my parents money?
Q. My husband and i have a savings account but he puts in the money but its for our future home, my parents need to barrow money and will give it back in 3 months and i know we have the amount they are looking for, my dad asked my husband and my ...
A. 26 September 2012: To be frank, there's no such thing as 'lending' money to family members. Even if you draw up an agreement that acknowledges they've borrowed it, will pay it back by a certain date, will pay x% interest -- what are you going to do if they don't pay ... (read in full...)
Is a declining sex life inevitable in marriage?
Q. Is it true that marriage is a sure way to kill the sexual chemistry of a couple? Obviously I am concerned. This is my second marriage, the first when I was 19 and within 3 years did not feel sexually attracted to my spouse. I struggled for the next ...
A. 11 September 2012: I've seen people post here about how they've been together for decades and still enjoy sex several times a week. Of course this is the internet ...
My wife and I have been together for 30 years. I think the last time we did anything together... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my masturbation habits aren't normal!
Q. Hi, okay I feel really embarrased but I really want some answers about this. I am 18 and I have been masturbating since I was 11. Over the years I have tried to stop and come to realize that I really only do it when I feel stressed, but it ends up ...
A. 28 August 2012: I can’t answer from a female perspective, but a lot of what you say sounds familiar from when I was a teen. While our household wasn’t religious, sex nevertheless was taboo, so I assumed that masturbation was somehow sinful. I felt that I ... (read in full...)
Great sex stories?
Q. Hi, just wondering, what's the best sex you have ever had? Where was it at? Who with (friend, spouse, etc)? What made it so great? Was it a special, intimate moment? Also, what was your "first time" like? I just think it's interesting hear...
A. 8 August 2012: Best was a weekend away in the mountains with my g/f when I was 18. I was in my prime, so we could do it as many times as the urge struck us (and the urge struck *a lot*). She was enthusiastic and very willing to indicate what worked for her, so ... (read in full...)
Would you stay in a sexless marriage?
Q. Would you stay with your husband, if he would go impotent, and it would not have medical cause? And on the top of. That, he would lose his affection too, so, basically the marriage becomes sexless? ...
A. 13 July 2012: Are you really sure there's no medical cause? Has a physician checked for blood pressure, diabetes, hormone levels, the last of which they seldom do without prompting? There are quite a variety of medical conditions, including depression, that ... (read in full...)
I had a threesome with two of my girlfriends, and now I'm wondering whether or not to tell my boyfriend.
Q. I am a girl and currently in a relationship with a boy who I truly love.We have been together for a year.But I feel very guilty and I feel akward whenever im around my bf or my friends.Because just a week ago me and my 2 friends,who are girls had a ...
A. 13 July 2012: With due respect to the other folks who replied, I must disagree. Yes, if you're considerably older and you're considering marriage "true confessions" are definitely in order. But at 17? There's a very real chance he will be hurt and feel ... (read in full...)
If the scar on my thigh going to turn guys off when I start having sex?
Q. When I was little I was bitten by a donkey, and I have this massive scar on my thigh. I worry that when I finally have sex, men will be repulsed by the scar. Should I try and hide it with make-up or something??? ...
A. 11 July 2012: No, hon, don't worry about it.
My wife has birthmarks. To be honest, the fact that I was actually seeing her naked, there was too little blood near my brain to be worried about marks.
Don't rush. When it's right, when a guy is seriously int... (read in full...)
My cousin and I made out but didn't have sex but now I want to!
Q. Im 17 and my cousin is 21 . The other night we made out and rubbed up eachother but , no sex i didnt want to at the time because i dont want to go to hell . Now its all i can think abouut how should i ask him ? I no of course its wrong but i ...
A. 11 July 2012: You didn't give us a country flag, which would have told us quite a bit. What I'm going to say has to be understood as very neutral -- if you're in a country that has a huge problem with cousin relationships, such as certain parts of the U.S., well ... (read in full...)
What do you do if you feel you are not in love with your wife anymore?
Q. What do you do if you feel you are not in love with your wife anymore? We have 3 children together. They are not toddlers. We have debt. Physically not that attracted to her anymore and seem to just be going through the motions. I don't want to ...
A. 6 July 2012: Folk here will jump on you, as did the first reply I saw. Understand that it goes with the territory. This forum tends to be hard on cheating.
I've walked a mile in your shoes. I share many of your issues in marriage. When we got together... (read in full...)
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