A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am a girl and currently in a relationship with a boy who I truly love.We have been together for a year.But I feel very guilty and I feel akward whenever im around my bf or my friends.Because just a week ago me and my 2 friends,who are girls had a 3some.We always joked around when we were younger [13] that we were gonna have a 3some.We were just beginning to become teens,so we were hormonal and just wanted to experiment.But it never happened until recently.They are my bffs.They were over at my house.We were playing truth or dare and one of my friende dared me to kiss her and the other at the same time.So I did and things kinda went very far from there.We went all the way.I kinda enjoyed it :] Yesterday I was with my bf and we were about to have sex,but then we just stopped because he said I was holding back.So he asked me why,I want to tell him but I dont know how so I just said I wasnt feeling good.So my question is should I tell him or not?And what about my friends?I havent talked to them since this happened.
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female
reader, Awkardvirgin +, writes (14 July 2012):
I think that unless he continues to say that you're holding back then you should keep this between you three. Also you should talk to your two friends first because they might not want you to tell him
A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (13 July 2012):
Tell him absolutely every detail and then see if you can convince your girlfriends to let him join you. If you can manage this there is no chance of his ever leaving you.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (13 July 2012):
 IF this can be kept amongst you three only, then I suggest that you say nothing. You are young and experimental, and as you had been thinking of doing this for some time, you were all mentally into doing it anyway; it was bound to happen!
The fact that it has not been mentioned outside your group in these past years means that it's unlikely to be spoken about now. I'm also betting that if you all enjoyed it, as you seem to have done, it will happen again. And why not?
I know I am going against the general opinion here, but I'm fairly sure this is just some experimental fun amongst old friends and not a relationship-destroying activity.
You will get it out of your systems and walk away from it fairly soon, as if nothing had ever happened, so enjoy it whilst you can!
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 Yea u need to tell him regardless if u fear his reaction. He wont be at all pleased since a relationship is a commitment.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (13 July 2012):
With due respect to the other folks who replied, I must disagree. Yes, if you're considerably older and you're considering marriage "true confessions" are definitely in order. But at 17? There's a very real chance he will be hurt and feel betrayed, and at that age hurt and betrayal are often expressed by broadcasting the details to the world. Do you really want that information on Facebook, where it will follow you for the rest of your life? I don't think so.
If as a consequence of this experience you can't honestly be intimate with him, then break it off. But I cannot imagine how a teenage boy could keep such a thing to himself. Let's just be real here -- relationships at 17 seldom develop into life-long commitment. And short of life-long commitment, there are secrets that seriously need to be kept. IMHO, this is one of them. If a rumor gets out about what happened, deny, deny, deny.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (13 July 2012):
 You cheated on him and should tell him as soon as possible. If you don't, he will hear it from someone else and that will not be good.
As for him thinking it is cool...I am not sure that will be the case. Cheating is cheating whether it's with the same or opposite sex, and it is a huge insult and hurt to the partner who is cheated on.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 Well I imagine he thinks you two are exclusive so you basically cheated on him.
Though, considering he's a teen boy, he'll probably just think it's hot and that's that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): Yes. You should. Because clearly this is affecting you and he senses it. When secrets of betrayal like this interfere with normal happenings in a relationship, then they need to be dealt with.
Whether you enjoyed anything with these so-called friends (I would never class any person/s who so blatantly let you cheat a friend of any sort) is totally irrelevant. You are in a committed relationship and as such what you did was wrong a level you seem unable to appreciate.
You need to sit him down and tell him what happened. Details are not necessary, this isn't a Penthouse Forum letter you are trying to read him. You need to relay to him how sorry you are that you allowed your moment of weakness to potentially destroy something far more important than a pathetic fling with friends (and trust me, whatever you felt would pale in comparison to sleeping with someone you love... no fling can ever match that). But only if that's the truth.
You need to put the ball in his court and let the chips fall where they may. It is no longer your choice if this relationship is to proceed. You made your choice. You cannot mend the jug with regret. It's his choice if he wished to forgive and work on what problems led you both to this sorry pass.
Secondly, you need to tell your friends in no uncertain terms that nothing like it will happen again. And then you need to minimise contact with them. No sleepovers or anything without your boyfriend present until you learn to control your urges and that it's not okay to play stupid childish games like spin the bottle, which are designed to lead to sex, when you are in a relationship with someone you think you love.
If you care about this boy at all, you will tell him. Not to tell him is just showing disrespect and showing you care more about your little flings than him. Then again, if you trully cared you'd never have let things go as far as they did... you would have told your friends to back off the second the kiss was dared. But you didn't. What does that say to you, eh?
Flynn 24
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